[Tin x Can] If Only I Could Trust

Chapter 10: Part 2

I was back again after a shower and a change of clothes. Despite Can acting as if he didn't want me there, his sister still let me in. At the sight of me Can walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. The second day was almost over with and it wasn't going well so far.

After a few minutes Can called my name in rage. I jerked my head up just in time to get the crap slapped out of me. I held my cheek and sadly looked at him. Where was the Can who loved me, hmm?

'You marked me.' Marked him? 'This!' He lifted his shirt up and there were plenty of hickies on his body. 'What are you fucking doing leaving all of these? Where were you all these weeks? You come back into my life when I finally get it together and move on from you and your whole shitty family who likes to wreck my life just to fuck me?! I hate that you came here, I hate that we had sex, and now I have to go tell someone that I'm not a good guy!'

'What are you talking about?'

'My girlfriend...my girlfriend Tin. After you left me I realized that maybe I don't like guys, I just like you so my friends hooked me up with a girl.'

I took a huge sigh, it was out. It was out and it hurt more coming from him than knowing it on my own. But he said it angrily as if he hated that fact. It was giving me hope.

'I didn't want to date her at first, it was just something I did because they pressured me. But after I got to know her she's funny and sweet and not you and not your family and everyone will be protected. I don't have to look over my shoulder. I don't have to be scared someone's going to drug me or hurt you or hurt my sister or hurt anybody in my life. Why can't you just stay gone?' His shield against me was thick.

'You want me to leave Can? You sure as hell didn't want me to leave last night.' I don't know why I was mad at him. It was my fault.

'What I do when I'm drunk...when I'm really drunk... you can't hold against me.' He argued.

'Speaking of your drinking, weren't you the one who told me that I shouldn't drink, that this isn't a good idea, that blah blah blah blah blah all this bitching and you do the same thing? What reasons do you have that are better than mine? And for the record I didn't take advantage of you.'

'I didn't say-' I cut him off quickly.

'You might as well have said it Can. Do you look at me like I'm my brother? Do you think I would intentionally hurt you? I don't intentionally hurt you but I think you want to hurt me. I'm baring my soul to you. I slept outside your house. I don't even eat. I see you. I see that you're sad. I see that you're angry. I see that you're hurt and I understand that. I've even noticed that you've gotten smaller but you never looked and saw me. What do you see in me Can? Do you see any of those things? Do you think I'm so happy? I waited for you. I waited for you! And I don't see why you're acting like such a victim. You act like such a victim Can but remember that I didn't go get a girlfriend in less than a month.' I huffed in annoyance.

'What was I supposed to do?' He threw his hands up in frustration. 'We broke up and your parents threatened me and your psychotic brother drugged me. What am I supposed to do? I'm only human. A poor one at that. What did you expect?'

At that I lost it. I broke down but I can honestly say that despite all the other times that I've cried which were few I couldn't control this. It was a kind of crying that was ugly and painful and hard to watch.

'What do I want from you? I want you to love me for me. Yes Can, I messed up. I was a bad person to you in the beginning but I fell in love with you and from that point I have been the best person that I can be. You need to help me out here. You hide things, you cover up your pain. How am I supposed to help you then? How am I supposed to be with you if you don't let me know what's going on? You don't let me know what you're feeling. You don't tell me what my family is doing to you. How can I protect you if you won't let me protect you?'