Learn to Love Again - Stampy and Squid

Chapter 8 - Tears

Stampy's POV

     I sink down to the floor, all noise merging into one shrill sound. Squid won't remember falling in love with me. We'll be friends, but nothing more. I look up at the nurse. She's looking at me with something like pity in her face.

     "I'm sorry, Joe. If there's anything important that's happened to David in the past month, it might be best not to tell him about it straight away. It will be too much of a shock for him." I nod in reply, only half listening. If I can't tell Squid about us, then I won't. His recovery is most important.

     "What's your name?" I ask the nurse.

     "Netty," she replies.

     "Thank you, Netty."  I nod at her before walking over to Squid, plastering a fake smile n my face.

     "Hey mate," I say to him, swallowing.

     "Hey Stamps. Apparently I got knocked up pretty badly."  I smile.

     "Yeah, you've definitely looked better."  I survey him carefully. Countless scratches cover his face, cleaned now. Heavy bandages coat his arms, making him look almost like a mummy. Greenish purple bruises cover his face, and a black eye stands out magnificently. I clench my fists in rage. If I ever find that man, I will kill him. Literally kill him. He wanted to hurt him for his choice in life. He's hardly a father.

     The doors to the ward spring open and in walks a single police officer. I sigh. All I really want to do is go home.

     "Are you Joseph Garret?" He asks. I nod. "Good news. We've managed to catch the person who did this to him, he was hiding a few streets away. However, he's refusing to speak. I need two sides of the story anyway, and considering David is... Unable to remember, you're the only one we can ask."  I nod again, and walk outside with him, waving at Squid. We sit down in a private room somewhere else in the hospital.

     "Do you know why Mr Spencer would beat up David?," the police man asks me.

     "I guess... Because he's gay." If the officer is surprised, he doesn't show it. He just writes a note and looks back up at me.

     "What is Mr Spencer's relationship with David?"

     "He's his father." The police officer takes another note. I feel guilty sharing all of Squid's secrets, but it's the only way he'll get charged correctly.

     "Has there been any other abuse prior to this?"  I nod.

     "He got abused as a child, but he didn't tell anyone." This time the officer's face changes into disgust.

     "What exactly happened before we got there?"

     "His father invaded Squ- David's house, where we were both staying. We got out, and spent the night at a nearby motel. Then, in the morning, we set off to find another place, when it started storming. I'm scared of thunder, so we went into an alley to wait it out, where he saw us... Kissing."  I look away, my voice breaking. It's my fault that Squid's like this. I ruined any chances we had together in later life. A lump in my throat rises.

     "Thank you, Mr Garret. If there is anything else I need to know, you know where to find me." I just nod, before running out the door. I manage to make it to the bathroom before the tears come, my breath coming out in large sobs. I lock myself in a cubicle and sit on the toilet seat. It's all my fault.

     Shaking, I pull out my phone. Taking the cover off, I find my small blade that I keep in it. Without further hesitation, I drag it across my skin multiple times. Bright red blood spurts out all over my wrist. It's my fault that Squid's like this. If I wasn't afraid of thunder, if I didn't come at all, none of this would've happened! How could I hurt someone like Squid?

     I cut once more before putting the blade back in my phone case. I press my fingers to my wrist, luckily stopping the blood from flowing freely.

     I unlock the door and walk back out again, somehow finding my way back to Squid's room.  His eyes are closed now, as if he's asleep.  I walk over to him and sit down.  How am I going to live without him?

     The words that he said to me before the accident return to me.  Whatever happens, remember I love you.  Tears come to my eyes again.  I'll never hear him say those words again.  I lean back in the chair and close my eyes. 

*~.~*

     But did you see the flares in the sky?

     Were you blinded by the light?

     Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?

     Did you?  Did you?

     The words from the song that Squid sung to me echo through the car.  I smile through my tears.  Maybe he'll find me again, someday.  I close my eyes and put my foor down on the accelarator pedal.  Screams sound around me as I crash straight into a tree.  As the world fades into darkness, I see Squid.  He smiles at me.

    I jolt awake, startled from my dream.  Maybe that's all I'm good for.  Dying.  I look over at Squid.  He's still asleep.  I feel a pain in  'that area'.  I need to use the toilet, but after I'm done today I won't feel anything ever again.  I stand up and walk over to Squid. 

     Leaning over him for one last time, I kiss his forehead.  I let my tears fall onto his head before running out the doors.  I don't look back.

     I run down countless hallways and out the doors.  In the near distance, the faint noise of a train comes to me.  Perfect.

     I run faster than I've ever run before.  Somehow, I manage to make it to the station.  It's empty, as it's still technically night.  All except for a train. 

     Without hesitating, I sprint to the side of the platform.  The smoke of the train meets my nostrils, nearly making me cringe back.  But I don't.  I lean over and prepare for death.

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Sorry if the end sucked and it was a bit shorter than usual, but I'm watching Doctor Who XD  Speaking of Doctor Who, if you watch it do you like the new doctor??  Anyway...  Two chapters in two days!  Whoop Whoop!  Sorry, I'm in a good mood...