Learn to Love Again - Stampy and Squid

Chapter 9 - Hope

Stampy's POV

     "No!"

     A voice behind me screams, but I don't turn around. I'm ready to die, and no one can stop me. The train's close now. So close I can see the front of it. I feel myself lean forward even more, bracing for impact. Just one second of the worst pain in my life, then it'll all be over.

     Just as the train reaches me, I'm jerked back onto the cement. I try to get up but someone's holding me down. No! All I want is for it to be over. I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes. Why can't I just die? No one needs me here.

     The person holding me down gets off me, and I immediately whip around to face them. Much to my surprise, I come face to face with the girl from the hospital, Netty, I think her name is. 'What the f-'

     "Before you say anything, I saw your last name on your ID card at the hospital."  So?  "It's Garret... The same as mine."  Who cares? There're probably heaps of people with my surname.  "I think... I'm your sister!"  She blurts the last part out as if she can't contain it any longer. What?

     "I don't have a sister", I reply.  "I never have."

     "My father... Our father... Took me away when I was two, away from our mother. He had no idea she was pregnant again, or he would've waited for you."  I ponder what she has just said.  It's possible. My mother said dad had died in a car crash before I was born. But if what Netty says is true... I have a sister!

     "You really think we're siblings?"  She nods enthusiastically.

     "We'll have to get blood tests done first, but I'm sure of it."

     Slightly awkwardly, I wrap my arms around her. I've never hugged someone properly before, except for Squid. Squid...

     "That man in the hospital... You were...?"

     "Dating," I answer for her.  "Yeah."  I sigh heavily. "There's no chance of him getting his memory back?"  Netty shakes her head.

     "I'm sorry Joe, but the chances are very rare, if impossible." I nod slowly.

     "Thanks for... Saving me." She just nods at me, before walking away. I follow her, not knowing what else to do.  "When does your shift finish?"

     "Not for another two hours. I think... you should go talk to David. Even if he doesn't feel like that anymore, you're still his closest friend."  I nod, secretly dreading it. How will I be able to cope, loving him for the rest of his life but only being friends with him. There's a chance that he could fall for me again, but... I don't know.

     Netty and I walk back to the hospital in silence, quickly exchanging numbers before going our separate ways. Somehow I find my way back to Squid, only to see him on his phone on YouTube. I take a breath, swallowing my tears.

     "Hello again!" He looks up at me.

     "Hello, good sir."

     "Geez Squid, you didn't hit your head again, did you?"  I say with a scolding voice. He laughs.

     "Nope, but speaking of knocking heads, is there anything I should know about the past month?"  I swallow again. I could tell him now, no matter what Netty says. But no. If I did that, who knows what he would do? He might have not even been gay a month ago.

     "Did they tell you how you got like this?"  He nods.  Nothing much else then. Just videos, I guess.' I turn away so he doesn't see the silent battle showing on my face. I feel tears in my eyes again.

     "I'm gonna go get a coffee, you want one?"  He shakes his head.  "Be back in a minute."  I race out the door, just managing to force the tears to stay in. I follow the signs to a small cafe area near the middle of the hospital, and order a large one. (teehee)

     I take my coffee and sit down at one of the seats. I stare into my cup, as if the past month will come climbing out of it into Squid's brain. I sigh again.

     "Are you Stampylongnose?"  I look up to see a woman looking down at me.

     "'Yep, that's me."  I plaster a fake smile on my face.

     "I'm sorry to bother you, but my daughter's a great fan. She has... Bone cancer..."  Poor kid. I can't begin to think what she's going through.

     "I'm sorry", I smile at her sadly.  "I'd love to come say hi, if that's ok."  She smiles at me.

     "That'd be great, if it's not too much trouble."  I smile again and get up, ready to follow her.

     "Wait! I'll be two seconds!"  An idea just struck me. I have a Stampy Cat toy in Squid's ward, and I can always get a new one. This girl will get more enjoyment out of it than I ever will.

     I race back down to Squid's room, grab the toy, and sprint back out the door before he can see me. I run back to the lady, and to my relief she's still there. I grab my coffee from where I left it and follow her down countless hallways, to the cancer ward.

     I enter after her, holding the Stampy Cat toy behind my back. The woman leads me over to a sleeping girl who looks about eight. She's only eight and she's got cancer! Why is the world so cruel?

     Her mother shakes her gently. "Lucy, I've brought someone to meet you."  She wakes up, her eyes on me immediately. She lets out a squeal of happiness. I laugh.

     "Hey Lucy. You mum tells me you're a fan of my videos."  She nods, grinning madly.  "You know I love all of my fans, right? And I love giving presents to them, too."  I pull the Stampy Cat toy from behind my back and hand it to her. Her eyes light up, and she hugs it to her chest. I smile.

     "Your mum also told me that you're very sick."  She nods. Sadness pierces my chest.  "You do this Lucy: You get better for me, OK? For all of us."  I gesture to her mother and a very young child who must be her brother. She smiles utters the first word I've heard her say.

     "I will."

     "Pinkie promise?" I say, holding out my finger to her. She shakes my pinkie, still smiling. "Good," I say. To my surprise, she launches herself into my arms, giving me a hug. I hug her back, before gently putting her down again.  "You look after that toy, OK?"  She giggles and nods. I smile at her again. I turn to her mother.

     "Would she like a photo with me?"

     "I'm sure she'd love a photo." I take her phone and lean up next to Lucy, before taking about five photos. I hand the phone back to her mum.

     "Look after yourself, Lucy."

     "I will."  I smile at her one last time before turning to walk out the door. I hear footsteps behind me, and turn to see her mother.

     "Thank you. Thank you for giving her hope."  I just smile again, knowing that if I speak I'll burst into tears. She smiles at me again before walking back to her sick daughter. I leave the cancer ward feeling a lot sadder, but a lot happier than I was when I went in. I can't believe I can make a difference to people's lives. It's such a good feeling, knowing I made someone happy just by saying hello.

     I return to Squid's ward almost bouncing, only to find him fast asleep. Sitting down on the end of his bed, I look towards him again. I love him and I always will, but I need to be there for him, as his best friend. I sip my coffee, and look out the window. How could it be that I was doing this just a day or to ago, but so much has changed since then. A tear drops down my face onto my lap. Maybe, one day, he'll love me again.

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Hope you enjoyed! Sorry nothing much happened between Stampy and Squid this chapter, but.. I don't know. ALSO!!! There is a mini competition, if you want to enter. The prize is basically a spot in a few chapters, but I will dedicate the chapters to you and check out your books if you have any. SO. Just put in a name with a description, and I will choose my favourite :D The only rule is that the character must be twenty or above. Also, it must be a girl. See you next chapter :D

~Competition Closed~