Learn to Love Again - Stampy and Squid

Chapter 11 - Memories and Dates

Stampy's POV

     I take a deep breath and turn my key in the lock, opening the door. I step inside, floor boards creaking with my steps. Every noise I make seems to be amplified ten times in sound, making me flinch each time I make something creak or bump against a table.

     All I have to do is creep upstairs to my bedroom, grab my wallet and anything else I need, and get the hell out again. My mother doesn't even have to know I'm here. I can do it. I know I can... Can't I?

     I reach the end of the hall and, taking a deep breath, sprint as fast as I can across the open door way to my left. I sprint up the stairs and force open my bedroom door. I close it behind me again, feeling slightly safer.

     I turn around, ready to grab my wallet and run, only to come face to face with someone sitting on my bed. I freeze. Who the heck...?

     I walk slowly towards the person. It's not my mother, for sure. It's a boy, maybe fourteen.

     "Sorry, I didn't realise anybody lived here." If they hear me, they take no notice of me.

     "Sorry, I'll be going now," I say, louder.   They still don't turn around. The sensible thing to do would be to back off and never come back. I walk further toward them.

     "Are yo- What the fu-?" I gasp as my hand goes straight through them. It's like they're not there, but they are. I look around my room. Wait, this isn't my room! My room didn't have posters on it when I left! My walls weren't blue, they were cream! What...?

     I start as I hear a noise behind me. I turn quickly, only to see my mother. I whimper, shrinking back so she can't get to me, but she walks straight past me to the boy on the bed. Wait... Is that me?

     Now when I really look, it's obvious. He's me from when I was fourteen. That's why the room looks different. They can't see me. I'm the ghost! But I'm not dead... Am I?

     "It's all your fault, Joseph! It's all your stupid fucking fault! If you weren't born, if you weren't alive, my life would still be perfect!" She brings her arm down across my face, and I flinch, remembering the pain she could inflict on me.

    The young me on the bed shrinks back like I did, shielding himself from the pain. My mother's arm whacks me multiple times across my face, until I begin to bleed. I hear him give of a whimper, and burst into tears.

     "Useless! You're just useless, Joseph! I should just kill you now!" Her words are slurred, as if she's drunk. Maybe she is.

     Without a further word, she walks out of the room, slamming the door behind her. The last thing I hear is young Joe's sobs as the world dissolves into whiteness. This time, instead of a scene, I see multiple pictures fly past me. Pictures of my mother hitting me, of blood on the bathroom floor, of nights in my room when she locked me in there with no food for sometimes days at a time, and then finally, a picture of the last time I saw her here, the night before I ran away, barely a week ago. I sink on the floor as voices rise up around me, nearly deafening me. Then; it stops.

     I'm back in my room as I remembered it, with the cream walls and empty shelves. It's like it never happened. What did happen?

     Did walking into this house after nearly five years stir up memories I've been trying so hard to forget? All those memories I had banished from my mind. I close my eyes, and stand up, looking on my dresser for my wallet. Sure enough, it's there. I grab it, stuffing it into my pocket before running quietly down the stairs again.

     I glance quickly at the open door. No one there. Why was her car there then? Or maybe that was part of the dream, too.

*~.~*

Squid's POV

     I look at myself in the mirror, taking in what I'm wearing. If I'm right and it was a date, then I want to look good. Well, my definition of 'looking good' is a black tee-shirt with blue skinny jeans, but anyway...

     Sighing, I grab my wallet head out the door. My car sits in the driveway, but when I try to start the engine, it doesn't work. I should get it serviced.

     I get back out of the car and set off at a jog down the street towards Starbucks.  I heard they had a pumpkin spice drink there, and I've been dying to try it.

     It feels weird, knowing that you've lot an entire month of your life.  I'll never know what happened in that month.  Aything could've happened.  I could have broken a fricken record for all I know. 

     I arrive at Starbucks feeling slightly angry.  I have no idea what has happened in the past month, and there's nothing I can do about it. 

     I force myself to smile as I see Tessa in front of the coffee shop.

     "Hey!" I say to her.  She smiles at me.

     "Hello!  I was thinking since it's such a nice day we could go sit in the park or something."

     "That sounds great!"  We walk inside the shop and order our drinks.  Did anything happen betwen us in the past month?  It would be rude to ask, though.  I bite my lip and pay for both of our drinks.

*~.~*

     Tessa's right - the park is a great idea.  Her long side braid flips around in the slight breeze, and she toses it over her shoulder angrily.  We walk in silence to find a bench.

     "Have we.. talked much in past month?"  I nearly slap myself for asking, but Tessa doesn't seem to mind.

     "A fair bit.  Enough for me to realise..." Her voice fades out towards the end. 

     "What?"

     "Nothing."  I don't push her.  I glance over at her as she finishes her drink.  This is the first time I've really looked at her.  She has hazel eyes and a few freckles on her face.  Her skin is pale, but looks soft.  She's wearing a shirt with a Nyan TARDIS on it, and a purple skirt with white tights.  She looks kinda.. cute.  No!  What are you saying, Squid!  Do I have a crush on her?

     I look away quickly.  I remember her in high school.  We were friends, but nothing more.  She preferred hanging out with guys better than girls, anyway.  But that was nealy six years ago, when we were eighteen.  When I escaped from my dad...

     A few months ago, I heard she had moved to the same place I had.  I contacted her and we bacame good friends again.  There's nothing wrong with liking her as more than a friend, but for some reason it feels... wrong.  I shake my head.  I'm allowed to have a crush on her.  

*~.~*

     "We should probably go home.  It's getting dark."  Tessa stands up, holding out her hand for me.  I take it.  She's right, we've been talking for nearly two hours.  It's nearly dark.

     "I'll walk with you."  She smiles at me.  I smile back, genuinely happy.  I don't bother asking to walk her home, she can handl herself just fine.

     We walk back to my house in contented silence, holding hands all the way.  It's completely dark by the time we get there, but that doesn't matter.  I've just had one of the best afternoons I've had for a long time.

     "I really enjoyed this afternoon," Tessa says.

     "So did I.  We should do it again sometime."  We smile at each other.  What she does next surpries me, but makes me feel insanely happy.

     She kisses me.