Ignited ✔️

1:18

My nerves were on high alert as I stepped into my house. I knew that John would find out either from Reed himself, or one of the few people that saw the whole incident on the beach.

Either way, I knew I'd be in huge trouble. John was adamant last time about my behavior and how I look to others. His image is just as important as Reeds and with his stepdaughter being such a 'sinner' he wasn't going to be happy.

As I pass the kitchen my mom calls my name.

"Emery is that you?"

I flinch slightly before turning around and entering the room. Mom was sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of her. Her graying hair was down and tucked neatly behind her ears.

"Hi mom"

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you around the house lately." She states as her green eyes bore into me.

"I've been avoiding Reed" I admit.

She draws her eyebrows together tight.

"What happened with Reed?"

I stay silent. It was weird for my mom and I to speak to each other. She hasn't been a mother to me in a long time.

"Did he do that?" She asks noticing the red handprint on my face

I slowly nod my head and tears spring to my mothers eyes.

"Oh my goodness Emery! How long has this been going on?" She asks rushing over to me.

I sniffle and fight the tears as she wraps her arms around me. I've missed her so much.

"He can get rough sometimes but he's never hit me before tonight" I mumble

"What happened?"

"We got into a fight and broke up"

My mom holds me at arms length as tears fall down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. I'll call John and have him talk to Reed" she states as she makes her way over to her purse.

"Don't call John mom. Please." I beg her

"Honey he can ruin him, he deserves it"

"Please mom, I don't want John to find out"

Fear thrummed through my veins as my mom studies me. Realization dawns on her and she lets out a heart wrenching sob.

"He promised he wouldn't touch you anymore" she cries as her hand flies up to her mouth.

"How often?" She asks through her hiccups.

"About once or twice a week" I admit

I watch as my mom collapses onto the floor as sobs rake her body. I haven't seen her like this ever.

"I'm so sorry I let you down. I didn't protect you sweetie. Please can you forgive me?"

I get on my knees and wrap my arms around her.

"I should have let your father take you" She sobs.

"What did you say?"

My mom sniffles and pulls away from me. She wipes her nose on the sleeve of her sweater and glances up at me.

"I should have told you this a long time ago Emery, and the only reason I didn't was because I was afraid I'd lose you."

"Mom what happened? What are you talking about?"

My mom takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes again before she starts.

"The day your father disappeared he showed up at our apartment. He told me he had to go away for awhile and that he promised he'd come back soon."

She pauses and sniffles again before continuing.

"About a month later he kept his promise and came back. He had come to see you but you were over at Jenna's house. He started telling me about this job he had gotten in Portland and he begged me to come with him. He said he wanted to be a family, a proper family."

Another sob escapes her body and her body shakes slightly.

"I wanted to go, I really did. I wanted us to start fresh and he promised he'd take care of us. But I couldn't bring myself to go. You had just started middle school and I didn't want you to uproot your life and move to a different place."

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say to her.

"I loved your father so much Emery. It killed me when he left, and he took part of me with him when he went to Portland. I was in a really bad place and then I met John. He was such a great guy to me and when he first laid a hand on you I tried my hardest to stop him. I'm so sorry that I didn't do enough"

Everything my mom had just told me hadn't fully registered yet. My dad wanted my mom and I to move away with him, he wanted a life with us, he wanted us to be a family.

Even though I had every right to be mad, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. She thought she was doing what was best for me. She sacrificed her own happiness for me.

"There's something else you should know Emery." My mom states.

"I saw your father again a few years after he left. John was gone on his camping trip and I lost control when I saw him again. At first I thought that I was imagining him. But then he said my name and I couldn't help myself. I had missed him so much and I didn't care that I was married. We went back to the hotel room he bought."

She pauses and breaths deeply.

"The next morning when I woke up he was gone, all his stuff was gone and the only thing left behind was a note on the pillow. A few weeks later when I found out I was pregnant I tried to find him, he deserved to know. But he had changed his name when he left. He didn't want to be found again. When the doctor told me I had a still birth, I wanted so bad for your father to be the one to comfort me but he wasn't there."

This was to much information for me to handle. I can't bring myself to say anything to her. I quickly stand up and run to my bedroom before slamming the door shut. I lean against my door and scan my room. My eyes land on River's hoodie from yesterday and I grab it and pull it over my head before curling up on my bed with my teddy.

I stare at the picture of my father and I that rests on my end table as more tears spring to my eyes.

This time though I let them fall.

For the first time in ten years I finally let the tears fall. I cried and cried until my eyes burned. I cried until I couldn't breath anymore. I cried until my head hurt and my heart slowly started to feel better.

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, until I had eventually curled up and drifted off to sleep with the scent of sandalwood and smoke embracing me, wrapping me in a tight hug that I welcomed fully.

•

Intense chapter here.

Do you think Emery's dad is going to come back again?

Her finally allowing herself to cry after all these years? What's your opinions?