Ignited ✔️

2:6

I take a sip of my coffee before sitting down in the barbers chair. I was starting fresh, I already got a tattoo and Becca took me to get my nails done -something I had never done before- on the way back home we had passed by a salon and Becca made the suggestion that we get our hair done and so here I am.

"Honey this hair is so dull, I don't know what I can do with it" the stylist, Karen, says as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"Just chop it off" I tell her

Her eyebrows lift in surprise.

"Are you sure? That is almost twelve inches of hair." She states

I glance at myself in the mirror and tears instantly spring to my eyes. I hated myself and I hated that I felt weak. I felt broken and I wanted to be new, I wanted to be better.

I nod my head and Karen and Becca both look at me in concern before sharing a glance with each other.

"I need it gone, I need to start fresh" I mumble as I fight the tears.

Becca flashes me a look of pity as Karen shrugs and starts spraying my hair down.

This was the first step to a new me.

**

"Okay sweetie. You're done" Karen says as she removes the black salon cape from around my neck.

Hours had passed by and my butt was starting to hurt so I was glad we were finally done.

"How does it look?" I ask Becca.

She flashes me a small smile as she answers.

"It looks great, you look beautiful Emmy."

A small smile curves up the corners of my lips at the compliment. I was nervous to see it. I hated change but this needed to be done.

I give a curt nod to Karen who spins my chair around so I could face the mirror. What I saw shocked me. I didn't recognize myself. My hair was now cut into a longer bob that ended just above my shoulders, and instead of the normal blonde color it was a deep brown with burgundy tips. Karen had given me bangs that ended at my eyebrows and added some light brown lowlights.

My jaw dropped when I saw myself. "Oh my god" I breath out.

I couldn't produce words because I was stunned.

Tears began pouring out of my eyes and Becca wrapped her arms around me tight as Karen rubbed my back.

"Emmy what's wrong?" Becca asks as she hugs me tighter.

"I never knew I could look this beautiful." I mumble as more tears pour down my cheeks.

"Oh Emery. You've always been beautiful, you just didn't like what you saw in yourself. You were broken down to nothing and now that you're actually doing something for you, you don't know how to handle it. Embrace it Emmy, because it'll always be there."

Karen excuses herself and Becca and I are left by ourselves.

"Was that him? At the apartment?" Becca asks as she sits down in the station next to me.

I don't respond and glance down at a loose thread in my jeans. That was answer enough for her.

"I don't know how he found me. I-I made sure I didn't leave a trail."

Becca lays a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't realize you loved him that much" she mumbles.

A small smile curves up my lips, I couldn't help that I loved him.

"I guess deep down I wished he would chase me, I wished he would try to explain everything. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."

I hadn't actually admitted that to myself until now. I did want him to chase me. I wanted him to prove that everything he told me wasn't a lie.

I wanted him to love me.

"But it's true, I love him. I love him so much I hate myself for it. I hate that even after he hurt me, I can't help but be in love with him."

"Sometimes that's just how things work hon. You can't help who you fall for, I know that better than anyone. It just happens."

I nuzzle my head into my hands.

"I just wish it didn't hurt so much" I mumble into my hands.

"I know but when you get over it, and you will, you'll realize that you needed to go through it in order to heal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the long run you'll look back on this time and you'll love that you made it through."

"I don't think I can Becca"

"You can, trust me. You are the strongest person I have ever met, you are so brave and courageous. I wouldn't have the balls to move across the country by myself."

I laugh lightly at her statement and wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Thank you" I tell her

"For what?" She asks as she slips on her jacket.

"Everything you've done for me. You offered me a place to stay when I didn't have anywhere and you had never met me before"

"Yeah well if Alex likes you, I know you're a good person. Alex doesn't like anyone and he talks about you all the time. He really admired how given your situation you always were so cheery and positive"

"He really thinks that?"

Becca nods her head as she pulls her card out of her purse and pays for my new look. After saying goodbye to Karen, Becca loops her arm through mine and we head down the street.

"You feeling hungry? We can go down to the pizza place and get a large cheese lovers to share." She asks me.

"As amazing as that sounds, I think I'd rather get Chinese takeout and watch the notebook until I die"

Becca smiles and lets out a small laugh.

"Sounds perfect."

**

"Chinese is on its way now and I just put the movie in, anything else we need?" Becca asks plopping down on the couch.

"I just need to change into my pjs and I'll be ready" I tell her before hopping off the couch and dashing up the stairs to my room.

I dig through my closet until I find an old pair of black leggings and my fuzzy stitch socks. I throw one of Becca's cropped sweaters on before glancing at myself in the mirror.

I didn't look like myself and I was starting to be okay with that. Maybe I'd get a navel piercing?

"Emmy come on! It's starting!" Becca shouts from downstairs.

I smile to myself and take off down the stairs, throwing myself next to Becca on the couch. I snuggle up with the blanket as Becca hands me a glass of wine.

"Now let's get drunk"

•

Emery's new hair ⬇️

I'm excited to write this next chapter (hint Rivers in it 😆)

My heart is gonna hurt at the end of the next chapter, I teared up writing the last one I can't wait to do the next one.

This was kinda a filler chapter but there were some hints in it for the rest of the book.