Carve Me Open / r.l. + s.b. /

(Lack of) Hope

Who am I in the eyes of most people? A nobody, a non-entity, an unpleasant person.
-via Vincent Van Gough

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London, July 1972

Sirius thought he was going to be sick. These stupid family functions almost always made him nauseous. Every time he saw each member of the Ancient and Noble House of Black congregating in a single area, Sirius was reminded of the abhorrent inbreeding these creatures were prone to. On the other hand, comparatively, he was blessed with distant relatives for parents rather than siblings. Some considered it the Black family genes, and oh boy, were they right, but the short hanging jaw, extended lower lip, and dangling nose features were noticeable amongst the party guests.

It was best to watch from the sidelines of these get-togethers. They weren't for Sirius to revel in and mingle, more so a chance for his mother to find him a seemly wife amongst the Sacred 28 and other fanatic families. Those who weren't pure-blooded tried so frantically to cling to relevancy and this "lavish" life families such as his and the Malfoy's adored.

Besides, Sirius could smell the alcohol on his mother's breath from across the room; when she drank, she was sporadic and volatile in emotions, and her reactions were, more often than not, explosive. He'd learned from earlier parties that if he got in Walburga's way during these parties, he'd regret it that night. So, with enough champagne and crackers to hold his stomach over for at least another hour, Sirius decidedly vanished in the crowd and observed. Kreacher was off somewhere doing busy work for Narcissa, so Sirius couldn't get a sandwich made any time soon.

He groaned, "I hate this."

"Ditto," a familiar figure approached him, empty glass and saucer in hand.

His cousin, Andromeda, leaned against the wall beside him. Her elegant dress had been tied up closer to her waist, preventing the skirt from being stomped on. Not much attention had been paid to Andromeda's hair or makeup, but that didn't take away from her beauty. Perhaps two members in the family were able to dodge that distinct "inbred" face.

"You look nice," Sirius offered, not really meaning it. It was more for politeness than to compliment her. Unfortunately, those were the pleasantries offered at these supremacist cotillions.

"Don't let our mothers hear you say that," Andromeda laughed. "You give those women an inch, and they take a mile."

"Trust me, I only speak when my mother and father are out of earshot," Sirius rolled his eyes, returning his focus to the hangnail that was too stubborn to let go.

"How's school," she asked in an attempt to spur more conversation. Was she truly that bored with this party she had to natter on to her baby cousin about grades and class? Sirius fought the urge to walk into traffic outside.

"Fine," Sirius said.

They returned to their peaceful silence, neither possessed to share information or jokes, puns or stories. It was agreeable for a moment to not need to impress another show dog. Andromeda hated those functions just as much as Sirius, and another plus was that she understood social cues, unlike her idiot sisters. They could've stayed like that for the rest of the night, and Sirius wouldn't have minded. With Andromeda by his side, it warded off more distant cousins interested in marrying early and starting their little tyrant families before graduation.

If they were all honest, this entire ordeal was a chance for Lucius to acquire Cygnus's blessing to marry Narcissa. Of course, he paid quite a pretty penny for it. Cissy had been going on about her possible engagement with Lucius. According to many of her visitors, they were a match made in heaven. Both pure-blooded aristocrats with perks of an advantageous marriage such as large inheritances and an even larger province to call their own. Malfoy Manor. They'd be the talk of high society for months on end, and no doubt Sirius would hear about it from his mother to no end.