Carve Me Open / r.l. + s.b. /

Carnal

"we both drowned under the waves of words we weren't saying"

-via Ben Maxfield
Edits complete as of March 19, 2022
Explicit Content Warning

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Hogwarts, November 1976 (Sixth Year)

"Come on, Sirius, stay with us!"

Sirius shrugged in reaction to James' imploring pout. The audience behind him seemed to join in on the crying, urging the birthday boy to linger and enjoy his bash. They reminded him of Flitwick's singing toads, he thought.

Sirius, to be honest, would have rather to be anywhere other than the Gryffindor common room. Peter's stomach had been protesting about the excessive amounts of Fire Whiskey he'd taken about seven o'clock in front of a bunch of fourth year females, while James was too focused on showing off for Lily to care about anything else. Dorcas Meadowes was rubbing up against an anxious Marlene McKinnon, and Frank Longbottom was hugging Alice Fortescue so passionately that her eyes may have burst out of her head.

Sirius realized it wasn't solely his birthday that night. The Quidditch team had won their first match against Hufflepuff — against Amos Diggory, one of Hogwarts' outstanding seventh-year students.

That being said, the fact that Sirius' birthday happened on that day was purely coincidental. James came up with the idea at the last minute, using Remus's latest Marauder's trinket to sneak into the kitchens for various munchies. Of course, there was a birthday cake, but Sirius had yet to see a slice. His appetite had been waning all day. He was convinced that by the time he moved to the snack table, there would be nothing left for him.

So, yes. He'd rather be somewhere else, and that spoke a lot to him. Being the star of the show wasn't on his radar. Sirius intended to sneak upstairs in Remus' jumper and sweatpants and sketch in his notebook with only a lantern for inspiration. Sirius grimaced, sensing Remus' minimalist approach to life was starting to bleed into his.

"I'm fine, guys," Sirius reassured them as he saluted them, his face flushed with exhaustion. "I think I'll retire for the night."

James cried out, "But it's your birthday, Pad—"

"I'm quite aware that it's my birthday," Sirius said, disregarding the peculiar glance he received from Lily nearby. "I'm just really drained. Alchemy is wrecking my sleep schedule."

His scowl became even more pronounced because James was notoriously difficult to persuade.

"Isn't it true that going to a party is the best way to de-stress, mate?" he inquired, sending a grin towards Lily for support.

She brightened up a little "This year, Sirius, you're going to have a lot on your plate. You know, letting loose tonight wouldn't hurt much."

"To be honest with you, guys, I'm not in the mood. I appreciate the thought, but you guys should celebrate the win," Sirius confessed, albeit reluctant.

He dragged his fingers through his hair, angry at everyone. It wasn't easy trying to tell James and Lily that their endeavors at a birthday celebration had been for naught because one of the most important friends volunteered to take rounds. What prompted him to act in this way? Because James bloody Potter wanted Lily to melt. Remus with his kind heart, it's not like they didn't have lessons together. But again, so did he and Remus. The distinction was that Sirius needed Remus, whether anybody else understood it or not. He was mindful of it, and he'd made peace with it at that point. He'd beyond the stage of grinning and enduring the pain of denial.