Lyall Lupin had once told his son this: Love's not all that complicated. It tells you who it's after and it either gets what it wants or destroys you. And he had never thought it would ever apply to him because let's be honest, who would love an ani...
Hey, everyone. Nic here. There's something I want to address that has sort of been bothering me.
I've published this work on two other sites, and one of them has an older range of readers. I'm talking about fan fiction (dot) net. I usually get such positive reviews from all of you, and I love hearing your thoughts, reactions, and everything. I literally love waking up to it. I love watching you guys grow with the boys. It makes my heart warm.
However, someone wanted to point out that I don't talk much about Hope or Euphemia. In fact, they tell me that my portrayal of mothers is very skewed. They tell me I don't talk much about the two good mothers in this story, who deserve more chapter time.
I couldn't agree more. I think that Hope and Euphemia are wonderful characters. Yet, it's hard for me to write their characters. Very hard. It's emotionally taxing on me, actually.
I grew up with a single, alcoholic/substance-abusing mother. She passed away in 2014. She was very much like Walburga in the last few years of her life, which is why I am able to write Walburga with ease. I won't say the entirety of my childhood was spent in suffering. There are small things that pop up every now and then, and I try to capture the feeling and write it down so that I can look back on it instead of all the bad times. I'm sure when I was very young and her substance abuse wasn't as rampant as it was later on in my life, my mother was a wonderful person -- the person you all imagine Hope and Euphemia to be. At least, that's how everyone describes her to me.
The memories of her that I have of my mother are not always good ones. I can't remember much about what the good part of my childhood was... My childhood wasn't peachy. It was rough and I had a mother who didn't particularly look out for me the way a mother should (lol like Walburga). I had a mother who would forget to pick me up or fall asleep on my birthday. A mother who forgot my birthday for some years. A mother who was mean to me when I disagreed. A mother who hurt my feelings often when I tried to break out of toxic habits.
I see a major correlation between me and Sirius, hence why I write his struggles well.
That's why I don't do much of Hope and Euphemia. I don't know what good mothers look like. Or I don't remember much. I don't remember what it felt like to have a parent who took care of me. I only remember taking care of myself and her. I find that I relate most to Sirius. I really do.
I'm sorry if you'd like to see more of those characters, and I will work on incorporating them more. But please don't think that I intentionally leave them out. It's hard projecting something I don't remember into my characters. I guess as my writing evolves, I'll be able to feign maternal love much better. I'll close out with a nice memory of my mom.
I'm not writing this for pity. But I want you guys to know that I don't do this on purpose. I guess it's just a subconscious thing I do to protect myself.
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I'm trying guys. I'm sorry if I've disappointed... Anyways, going to go work on the next chapter.
