Chained✔

26.Tu Itna Zaroori Kaisa Hua?

Aditya saw Zoya leave her chamber at 7 in the evening. He wanted to stop her but he knew he had lost the right to do so. He didn't even know how to face her now. What would he go and say ? How could he just ask for forgiveness for something that just couldn't be forgiven. Earlier he had thought he could just beg for her forgiveness and she would give it to him. But now the more he thought about what
he had done, the more it struck him that he had something so awful that it couldn't be rectified by a simple sorry. He closed his eyes and saw a smiling Zoya near him. He wanted to hug her but she just kept sliding away from him. He went after her , he could hear her tinkling laughter fill the hall where he was but he couldn't see her. He shouted for her but she wasn't answering him. He was getting desperate and suddenly everything became dark and he was all alone, even Zoya's laughter had left the hall. He was crying for Zoya but nobody came. Aditya opened his eyes and thought "Ek second ke liye aankhein kya bandh ki , bure sapne aane lag gye. Ab toh Zoya ke bina aankh bandh karne mein bhi dar lag rha hai. Aaj samajh mein aa rha hai ki voh mere liye kitna maayeine rakhti hai. Voh ek din ke liye mere se alag rhi aur mujhe lag rha hai ki ek saal ho gya hai. Meri bewakoofi ki wajah se main usse door hoon. Aur ek pal ke liye toh main ya maan bhi loon ki voh mujhe uspe shaq karne ke liye maaf bhi kar degi, lekin maine jo uske bhai ke liye bola, uske liye kaise maaf kar de voh mujhe. Main khud ko maaf nhi kar sakta toh main kis mooh se usse maafi maangoon?."

"Nhi maaf kar sakte hai hum, na unko na khud ko. Humein unke shaq karne se zyada unke shabdon se ghin aa rhi hai. Unse zyada koi nhi jaanta ki humein Iqbaal ki maut ko lekar kitni saari takleefein hai, aur unhone vohi baat boli. Gusse mein hi sahi hum kabhi unhe Pooja ke baare kabhi kuch nhi kehte. Aur unhone. Galti ho gyi humse ki humne usne pyaar kiya." said Zoya sitting on the bed of dark and dingy room of a girls hostel.

Her alter ego said "Aur tum khud ko kyun nhi maaf kar sakti ho ?"

"Kyunki humein unko samjhana chaiye tha jab voh chilla rhe the. Humein apne gusse pe kaaboo rakhna chaiye tha. Humein pata tha ki unko Sahir ko leke insecurities hai and he always fears of losing people because of his past, lekin phir bhi hum aadhi raat ko Sahir se milne gye. Hum bhi toh yeh kaam shaam ko kar sakte the. Aur phir humne Aditya pe haath uthaya. Agar ek aadmi ka aurat pe haath uthana galat hai toh yeh ek aurat ke liye bhi galat hai. Aur itni zor se lagi thi unhe. Aur phir humne unhe bola ki voh mare ya jiye humein farak nhi padta, isse acha agar hum unhe sach tabhi bol dete toh aaj yeh sab hota hi nhi." said Zoya.

"Toh tum jaake usse baat kyun nhi kar leti ? Ek miscommunication ki wajah se already itna kuch ho gya, ab agar tum ab bhi baat nhi karogi toh baat aur badegi."said the alter ego.

"Hum kyun baat karein ? Humesha hum kyun baat karke unko samjhaye. Voh bacche nhi hai. Galti unki humse zyada hai , unhe humse aake baat karni chaiye. Lekin voh toh ek baar call karne tak ki himmat nhi rakh rhe hai." said Zoya

"Baat himaat ki nhi hai Pooja. Baat yeh hai ki main usse kahoonga kya ? Oh sorry Zoya, maine tumhe galat samjha. Chalo maaf kar do." said Aditya to his alter ego which had taken the form of Pooja as it usually did when he was in a dilemma.

Pooja said "Adi , tu cheezien theek karne ki koshish nhi karega toh cheezien apne aap toh sahi nhi ho jayegi na? Zoya ko sapna toh nhi aayega na ki tu guilt mein hai , use toh yehi lagega na ki tu ego ki wajah se usse sorry bhi nhi bol sakta. Aur usko toh yeh bhi nhi pata hai ki you love her. Tune raita phailaya hai tu hi sametaga na ."

"Dekh Pooja, galti uski bhi thi. Kaun sa insaan aadhi raat ko ek ladke se milne jata hai. Its obvious for me to doubt her. Aur vaise toh itni samjahdaar hai , itni si baat usko samajh nhi aa rhi thi use ki mujhe use khone ka dar hai. And why cant she understand that I am not calling because I am unable to find the right words. She should at least call me and fight with me."