childhood memories

Chapter 33

As the weekend came to a close Zane sat next to me on the couch, watching the TV with me.
Dad had got pretty mad after we came home...but if I'm honest, I think he was too stoned to honestly care.
However, Vylad had gone round Dante's house and my parents had gone round Aphmau's after receiving a surprising call from Zianna and Eric.
"So...the party was fun"
Zane eventually stated.
I nodded.
"You and... Laurence got close"
He added.
... he's onto me.
"We're just friends"
I stated, looking to him.
"Right, uhm..."
He had the look of uncertainty in his eyes.
"Why do you care?"
I asked.
"No reason,..I just thought maybe you two were...y'know, having a thing going on"
He chuckled.
I believe he was expecting me to laugh, but, I obviously didn't, and just stared at him.
"Heh...heh...hm...do you?"
He added
I stood up and went to the kitchen.
"Wh...where are you going?"
He questioned, following.
"Making myself a drink, what does it look like"
I glared.
As I did he watched from the door.
"Oh...hm"
He mumbled
While I made myself a drink he watched me closely before speaking once again.
"Aph told me y'know... about you at the shop..."
My body grew stiff.
"H-Hm?"
"You said you love them too...who?"
He questioned
Considering the conversation he was awfully calm of the matter...and that, I did not like.
"Urgh, you know Aph Zane, she's just trying to get me hooked up with Laurence...like I'd actually do it"
I stated
"Bullshit"
He glared
"If you're dating him just tell me!"
He yelled
Oh wow!
"No! I'm not alright!, Drop it!"
I ordered, my temper taring thin.
"You are! I knew it-!"
Before he could finish I hit him, straight in the head.
I knocked him into the wall and an inhuman snap exploded through the air, cracking the atmosphere.
He finched upon infact before skidding down the wall, limp and partially motionless.
Jolting I knelt down to him
"S-Sorry! Sorry! Zane! I-I!"
As I hugged him blood leaked form his nose, and, rather suddenly, the young one began shaking frantically.
From shaking to convulsing I watched in utter horror, his chest rattling.
A...seizure?
He's never had one of these i-i...what am I meant to do?!
All I could do was hug him, squeeze him, hope it would end.
Biting against my shirt he sweated progressively, grunting before digging his teeth into my shoulder.
"A-Ah!"
I winced.
His body flexed outward uncontrollably, his eyes rolling back past his eyelids and fingers gripping against my shirt.
All I could do was stroke against his hair and plead.
"I-It's alright, breathe"
I mumbled as he grunted louder and louder.
The blank expression he gave as he drooled was stiff and rigid, numb almost.
Tears swelled in my eyes and dropped from my eyelashes.
How could I do this?...
To my own brother!
I really am like my father!
No! No! It was an accident, an accident!
He'll be fine, he'll be fine!
I held him tightly, rocking myself slightly before sobbing.
It was a good 5 minutes into his seizure that a storm began brewing outside, spitting rain against the windows furiously.
Eventually, after 10 minutes of him straggling in the silence of out own home, the tap dripping with crystal clear droplets, his trembling subsided and he looked up at me with pain struck eyes full of shock.
Being far too weak to muster up his words mere gasps left his chaps.
"S-Sh"
I whimpered, placing my finger on his lips to silence him.
As I stood up, carrying him off to our room, he desperately tried to comprehend what had just happened, straining to see, and beckoning for answers.
I layed him down on his bed, stroking his hair after tucking him in.
It wasn't like he could object...
His eyes wondered from wall to wall and his lungs were just about regaining a steady rhythm.
"W-Wh...what...h-happened?"
He questioned me, looking me in the eyes.
My eyes stared directly at him.
...
Did...he not remember?
"You...got light-headed"
I stated
It took him a moment before he took in that information, and, as he did, I got a box of tissues out the bedside draw and gently wiped at his nose.
"I...I don't remember going light-headed..."
He stammered
"Of course you wouldn't"
I replied
His voice was tired, forced...and his cheeks looked flushed with blood.
"Now...just rest...d-don't sleep just...rest...alright?"
He nodded softly before carefully closing his eyes, watching the ceiling while I studied him with sympathy.
Why did I...lash out like t-that?
Looking down at my hands I ran them through my hair, gripping the strands.
I'm just like him...
Dad...
I'm becoming the thing I hate...and now I'm hurting everyone around me!
Urgh!
I'm broken!