childhood memories

Chapter 37

Slammed up against the railing, grunting with my spine grating against the steel, Zane went straight for my neck.
Alarmed I barely managed to get out his catastrophic path.
"ZANE! STOP THIS!"
I demanded
"MAKE ME!"
He yelled back
Grunting I dodged his every attempt to strike me, getting weaker and slower with each movement.
For a guy like him he sure moves fast...
Suddenly Gene tore my bag off my shoulders, momentarily distracting me.
"Ack!"
And that one single distraction resulted in me getting a sharp punch straight against my jaw.
If I'm honest it was half expected and only partially stumped me.
Zane seemed rather proud of himself, coming in to hit me again.
However, I wasn't willing to just let him do it just like that.
Quickly dodging, i grabbed his arm and twisted it to harshly pin him against the fence.
"I said stop!"
I ordered yet again as he squirmed
Whether it be out of rage, hate or enjoyment...he twisted round to face me, headbutting against my forehead.
"Agh!"
I grunted loudly and stumbled back, momentarily lifting my hands to my head and losing sight of him.
Unexpectedly, a sharp pain slashed through my left hand, originally aimed for my face.
As I pulled my hands down I noticed there, layed helplessly in my brothers hands...was a pocket knife.
Blood swelled at the tip and leaked down to the floor.
Why...WHY DOES HE HAVE A KNIFE?!
WHERE DID HE EVEN GET IT FROM?!
"Haha!"
He laughed
Blood sprouted from my hand and that...well, that was enough to turn me into a man I really didn't admire.
The sky grew evermore darker, thunder crackling within the gastly heavens.
With an instant I disarmed him, boiling with anger as I knocked him straight to the floor.
He gasped in shock.
"What is this?!"
I yelled as he squirmed to get to his feet.
However, with a single kick into his jaw he plummeted back down.
"A knife!? Why do you have this?! Why did you even use it!?"
I practically screamed at him.
He grunted and glared at me.
The rain spat in his eyes yet he kept a sinister stare.
"Because I hate you! I hate you Garroth! I wish you would just die!"
He replied, his eyes tearing with hatred.
...
I lost it.
A black, smoggy, plague of darkness wafted overhead, spiraling as if turned into ink floating through water.
It clouded my judgement into an iron fist.
...
I get why dad beats us now...
I got down on my knees and hit him...I hit my own brother over and over again.
To the point he began screaming my name to stop.
Gene, his friends, his very cocky attitude grew disturbed and they very hesitantly stepped away.
Zane cried, sobbing openly as he trembled.
My eyes darted to the group, blood having splashed up in my face.
They ran away.
As expected, once I let go of Zane he crumpled up and hugged himself, purely in shock as to my violent outburst.
I stood up and glared down.
"Stop crying..."
I demanded.
He kept on... shivering and he scurried away to the railing,..
"I said stop crying!"
I ordered grabbing his arm.
He looked up at me with utter fear.
That look...I knew it far too well...
I immediately let go and watched him cower away, sobbing, wailing.
"..b-brother i"
I tried to speak but he just cried louder.
...
I averted my eyes to the pocket knife and walked over to it, scooping it up and placing it in my pocket.
Sighed the ink just grew more troubled, darkening the sky with bitter remorse.
Zane didn't deserve that...he didn't...
The world grew darker... lonely, bitter...I was alone...and my brother...no, both my brothers hate me...
I am my father...I just have to accept that n-now...
I teared up and looked to the sky, taking a breather.
I had to try...I had to try and fix this.
After a sold five minutes, everyone being in class, I wiped the blood from my face and went over to my brother once again.
He trembled, barely looking to me.
I have to... please don't hate me.
As I sat down next to him he immediately hugged me, crying into my shoulder helplessly.
I jolted.
This wasn't the reaction I thought I would receive....
"I'm sorry...I-I'm so sorry!"
He hiccuped and gasped, convulsing with each cry.
"I-I won't do it again, I promise i-"
Before he could say another word I cupped his head and held him close, tearing up.
"N-No, you shouldn't be sorry...i-i did this...I s-shouldn't have hit you, I'm your big brother, I should know better"
I replied, finding myself smiling.
"I know but... B-But I...I hurt you first...h-hhh"
I could tell he was about to vomit.
He always did when he got worked up.
"Hey, hey...c-calm down... you're fine...w-we're fine"
I stated as he gripped my arms.
As he coughed blood dropped from his bitten tongue yet he just smiled.
"You're t-too kind"
He sniffled
"...I just beat you, how is that kind?!"
I frantically blurted.
He giggled slightly.
"I know...b-but what you're doing now...you don't have to do this and you are"
He teared up again.
"I could never be as good a brother as you...I get that's why I'm a little jealous"
He spoke, resting his head on my chest to listen to my heart beat.
He shivered but smiled, calming down his backfiring nerves and hesitantly hugging me.
"... jealous?"
I questioned.
But it was too late...my heart had rocked him off to sleep.
Afterall...that's one thing that always did get him to sleep when he was just a newborn... terrified of our father clashing about our home at night.
I guess I am a good brother...with a bad temper.
I need to get this under control.