childhood memories

chapter 22

...or was it.
7:55pm
I arrived, gasping, heaving, breathtaken, absolutely clueless of where to head off.
Kneeling on a lit up lamppost casting a golden glow against the ground the sky brewed an elegant red, the sun gently settings amongst the horizon.
This place was huge, I knew that, the mass size of the place would be impossible to cover within the time given, especially in my exhausted condition.
But...I still had to try.
As I walked many late night dog walkers were out, giving me gentle nods as they passed.
They just wanted to get home, there was no point in disturbing them just to pet their companions.
I pulled out my phone to text him, though found the charge of the device to be at 3% and lowering.
The problem was that I'd left the brightness all the way up through my run..that must have drained its remaining power.
The unreal truth set upon me as it finally shut down, my eyes brimming with clear tears.
"H-Hm"
I kept on searching.
8:05pm.
Nothing.
8:10pm
Nothing..
8:15pm
Nothing...
As the time struck 8:20pm I sat down on a cold bench, staring at the floor.
See...heha always has to be hard!
Kneeling my head down to rest my elbows against my knees I gripped to my blonde hair, taring out a few strands as it was my personal form of punishment.
Sure it hurt, even made me cry... thought it did make me realize somewhere in this body it's still capable of feeling things.
I'd messed it up, my one chance of fixing all this and I'd messed up...all because I was too busy pitying myself over-over something I honestly enjoyed!
I'm so selfish.
I mumbled and grumbled to myself, cursing my ignorance and stupidity.
Why didn't I just text him at home? Or on the way here? No I had to wait for the damn battery to run out!
I gripped harder, pulling more vigorously.
Pathetic piece of crap!
Just as I was about to do yet another fatal tug a set of warm hands gently held my trembling knuckles.
I jolted.
"Don't do that..."
A voice murmured
".... L-Laurence?"
I questioned, looking up to him as he smiled softly.
"It's late...I thought you'd gone home"
I stated as he lowered my hands, letting me sit up straight.
"Heh, yeah...I don't know why I stayed... probably hoping I'd spot you"
He replied, sitting next to me.
"I tried texting you again"
He added
"Phone died"
I chuckled, wiping my eyes.
He watched me and smiled gently.
"Ah...I see"
He spoke.
After giving me a moment to gather my barrings i gripped my courage by the rains.
"So...W-What did you want to talk about?"
I questioned
"Oh you know what I wanted to talk about Garroth...y'know with what happened at school"
He replied
"Yes, I remember...what about it?"
He nudged closer.
"Well... it's how I handled it...I shouldn't have just brushed it aside...I did what I did because...well because..."
I waited for him to finish.
He chuckled.
"It felt right and...for the first time I actually felt...like I loved someone enough to disregard my original aims...no one had ever done that before"
He smiled at me brightly.
"But...I understand if I made you uncomfortable or-"
Before he could finish i interrupted.
"No!...uh, no...no you...you didn't make me uncomfortable"
I stated
"I didn't?"
He replied
"Hmh...you...you actually made me feel loved too"
I blushed, unable to look him in the eyes while I curled a strand of hair behind my ear.
As a result he too blushed, our eyes locked.
Oh god the feeling again~
"L-Loved?"
He stammered as I nodded.
"I...It...you felt like more than just a friend..."
I added, taking an extreme risk.
What if he didn't feel the same!?
Shock filtered his face, gradually lowering to a very happy smile.
"Heh...so you are gay"
He chuckled.
"Oh shut up"
I giggled, smiling.
As we came closer he wrapped an arm around me, the sun setting.
"Hm~"
I knelt my head on his shoulder.
We watched the sun slowly set until the last grains of sunlight were visible before looking eachother in the eyes.
"So...what happens now?"
I questioned
The honey tinted glow reflected in both of our glistening eyes as he gently grasped my cheek, making me gasp softly.
My eyes fluttered closed, everything feeling so perfect at his graceful lips touching mine.
I made no move or attempt to break away...It was too soft and calm, a mere peck on the lips that lasted a lifetime.
I didn't care who or what was watching... because for once in my godforsaken life...there was love...the type of love that made me trip head over heals for a man.
He very carefully pulled away, breathing against my lips.
"That answer your question?"
He murmured.
"H-Heh...yeah"
I smiled
"Let's take this slow though, alright?"
I added
"Why?"
Laurence chuckled
"Well uhm....there's something you should know"
I stammered as he smiled nervously
"...Go on..."
"My father isn't exactly......hm he's homophobic and... Zane's the type of brother that would...snitch if given the opportunity"
I stated
"Ah, I see...no I understand"
He replied before standing
"We can take it slow...the two of us..."
He smiled as I did the same.
"This means I can't kiss you at school?"
He questioned
"Unfortunately, yes"
I giggled as he kissed my cheek.
"Oh darn it...heh, I'll just have to admire you from a distance~"