REPENT || HWANG HYUNJIN x READER FF |☆| 18+

21. Insecurity

Hana's POV

"No no this can't be it" I was pacing back and forth in our bed room as I had an off day today but Hyunjin was gone for work. My inside was shaking as I was fidgeting with my fingers.

My eyes fell down onto the pregnancy test in my hand, timidity was making me feel sick as i glanced back on the test which had two lines onto it, showing I was pregnant.

Yes I know I have moved on -on what happened but still when I got to know I was expecting again, instead of happiness a wave of insecurity and nervousness washed over me as without wanting, recalled the last time I told Hyunjin I was pregnant and those memories still haunt me so I couldn't be happy so easily.

What if Hyunjin isn't ready for a baby yet? What if he asks me to abort it again? What if we end up ruining our relationship again?! I know Hyunjin has changed a lot but still!

I was actually at the verge of tears as I let out a frustrated groan before sitting down on the bed and trying to calm the raging war which had started in my head now.

~~

It was 11 at night as I was in my bed with Hyunjin, the two of us cuddling as usual; he had his face in the crook of my neck as his arms were tight around my waist,

I lightly pulled away as I looked at him with soft eyes; he smiled lovingly at me as his eyes showed purity. He won't do anything like that right? I think I should talk to him after all he has all the right to know about his baby.

"Hyunjin" I called out softly as he hmmed in response.

"I-I want to tell you something" I spoke as he smiled and nodded his head, a lump formed in my throat as I gulped due to nervousness.

I was about to speak up when his phone rang and he scrunched his nose before turning towards the side table and picking up his phone. I lay straight on my back as he received his call,

"Yoeboseo?" he asked.

The other person was speaking something serious, this is what I guessed from Hyunjin's expressions as they were stern and he was biting onto his inner cheek casually.

"Why did you guys even sign up for a baby? Marriage isn't just for having babies Jaeyoung now bare the baby yourself" Hyunjin's word caught me off guard as his stone was strict.

Wait what? I blinked a few times, all the confidence in me to speak up to him about our baby vanished away as I grasped it as it would be way better if I don't tell him right now. I just cant bare getting hurt again as from his words it is clear he himself doesn't think baby is important in a relationship.

I was again at the verge of tears, knowing this is all going down the drain once again. After what Hyunjin said I couldn't actually register the rest of his conversation as my mind was blocked with tones of thoughts.

The call shortly ended as he placed the phone back on the table and turned towards me. "Yes you were saying something?" he asked softly as I gulped and shook my head.

"I-I forgot it, it wasn't anything that serious anyways" I laughed forcefully as he smiled.

"Okay so I think we should sleep now, I am sleepy" he pouted as I nodded and he switched off the side lamp before taking me on his arm and lightly playing with my hair.

I breathed out heavily, no good thoughts crossing by as I pressed my lips together and thought it would be better not to talk about this yet.

A Week Later

We had gone for the grocery shopping as I was checking some flavored milk however Hyunjin was searching for his favorite mint chocolate ice cream.

"Oh hello Mrs. Hwang" I looked up at the mention of my name when my eyes locked with my gynecologist; I smiled and bowed my head politely.

"How are you and the baby?" she asked nicely as I smiled placing a hand on my tummy. "We are good" I giggled lightly. I suddenly heard Hyunjin behind me as I almost cursed, I cant let him know about this.

"Hey I found my mint chocola-" Hyunjin came rushing towards me but he stopped speaking when he saw the gynecologist infront of me he bowed his head as she did the same, I felt my heart ramming faster in my chest as I prayed to god for saving the situation.

"I think you shouldn't have it, its not that healthy for the growth of the baby too you know, intake more vegetables and soups its necessary for the first 3-4 months of pregnancy"

My eyes widen as I froze on the spot. "Wha-" Hyunjin was about to speak as I could see his confused expressions, his features packed together,

"Y-Yes sure I will" I muttered quickly.

"Yeah and do come for regular follow up checkups, okay see you around" she bowed and walked away, I looked at Hyunjin as I gulped. Fuck!

Hyunjin's expression was of disbelieve as his eyes were soft, he probably figured out about my pregnancy. "H-Hyunjin listen"

"W-Why Hana?" he spoke in a whisper as he looked so hurt, I felt bad as a clear expression of worry, nervousness and tension outlined onto my face as I tried to hold onto Hyunjin's hand.

"I cant believe you" he whispered before dashing away from me. I felt tears growing in my eyes, what do I do now?