why you have to hurt somebody like me- limp bizkit
I just laid there awake, while colson lightly snored, i heard his dad come upstairs. I hope he doesnt come in here thatll be nerve raking trying to explain why im in bed with him & then explain why im just laying here. fuck he knocked on the door lightly & i tried my best to look sleep
"Colson get up, what the hell. Colson" he then took the covers and kicked him. i dont know how i feel about him doing this to colson but then again that is his son. I must not have been paying attention because his dad had left and he was looking through his drawers for something. my guess clothes but it wasnt like he was naked maybe half naked. i was going to ask whats going on but i keep quiet because he looked serious.
"Come on we gotta go."
he didnt even wait for me to respond or anything he just left, so i ran after him almost tripping on the stairs.
"Whats wrong what happened?"
Colson was speeding down the road and swerving cars, i dont know whats going on so idk if i should be scared.
"Stop wtf tell me please"
he reached over and squeezed my hand but that didnt make me any more uneasy.
when he stopped the car, he came to open my door and he just looked at me, i started laughing/smiling. i cant keep a straight face when people stare at me.
he like yanked me out the car and told me to wait here for him. like i was going to do that, he knew better. I know that i questioned us like hours ago but the love i have for him in my heart will never die.
"Stop and tell me whats going on"
he started to get hesitant and i held his hand from shaking.
"He found out, he found out that Alex wasnt his and that our mom cheated she called but my dad couldnt come he uhm idk nvm just stay here please"
he then ran to the door and started banging on it like it wasnt night and people werent sleeping but he was worried about his brother? or his mom? idk but i do know that his temper is very short & he seems to love his brother more than both his mom and dad.
I really hope nothing bad happened or happens. I dont know if I should stay here or go in
okay the pros and cons if i stay here colson or alex or even their mother could get hurt
Brian might be in there and me walking in there stirs up more problems. Take chances and have the potential to get hurt or keep to myself and play it safe.
Fuck it i made so many mistakes in my life why not another.
maybe this is harder than i thought i was right in front of the door my hand by the door handle but i couldnt do, you would think the yelling on the inside would give me a rush but it made me shake. i just need to do it.
the door flew open and Brian wait no his dad walked into me. maybe its me but everyone looks exactly like their dad, fuck i shouldnt be thinking about that of all things.
His face softens and he helped me up but that peaceful moment didnt last because next thing i know colson push him and it must have been hard because he actually fell down. " Dont fucking touch her!"
i dont know wether to be happy that he is protecting me or angry because there was no need for protection.
"Colson stop..."
yea maybe i did just cause more problems. Colson grabbed me and brought me inside, it was chaos in here. there are clothes and bags on the floor a vase broken just laying on the floor.
ive never felt this much tension in a room.
" We need to leave. I need to leave" hopefully it works. it works in movies and my life feels like one right now. Colson didnt even look my way, im starting to get annoyed. I cant get mad at Brian's dad cause his mom cheated, but i cant get mad at her cause she had alex and i could never say he was a mistake cause he isnt she knew what she was doing, and i cant get mad at Colson cause he is protecting his mother or brother. Im still confused on whats going on and its making me mad but colson is just making it worst there is no reason in hell to be that mad over nothing.....
fuck, it isnt nothing to him, he loves his mom she has to be the one he is protecting because if it was alex we wouldve took him with us. it was his mom, does she not wanna go is that why he is angry did she say she regrets it and says never to see him again, i dont understand she was the one who call her ex she was the one who at his house eating dinner not to long ago she was the one who probably brought colson 'back' it was all her she had too. was she the same reason he left? im so appalled i feel like i figured it all out but still something is missing.
I sat no stood and watched Colson turn evil well maybe not turn he was already that way when i came in but it looks to be getting worst its like im invisible, the only person that noticed me was alex he was scared to i held him but just put him down like 5 minutes ago. It was heart wrenching seeing his mom beg him to leave and try to convince him that everything would be okay but it wouldnt. I didnt noticed how broken she really was until now. I walked over and helped her up and walked her to the couch
"We really should leave."
"You dont fucking understand she isnt safe here! No one fucking understands! fuck!"
wow im not going to lie and say im not used to getting cursed out but only by my mom and or matty but colson never ever, I refuse to let him. So i went off, i forgot how short my temper was, maybe we werent so different.
"YOURE WHATS SAFE FOR HER,SHE IS WEEPING LIKE SOMEONE DIE AHH FUCK SOMEONE DID YOU SHE DOESNT FEEL LOVED BY YOU DO YOU EVEN LOVE HER OR IS THIS JUST A FUCKING CHORE TAKING CARE OF HER. YOURE SO FUCKING SELFISH YOU CANT SEE THATS SHES HURTING AND HAS BEEN HURTING FOR THE LONGEST ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS, Im leaving and bringing alex with me so do whatever i really dont care right now but you do need to leave"
He left
he just walked out, did it really work. i cant believe it seriously
"Wheres Colson, he coming too"
I feel bad for leaving without him but he left just started walking into the darkness, i tried my best.
"Ima take you to your dad then ill bring Colson too okay?"
"Yay okay"
at least i made one person happy.
"Thanks for bring Alex, do you have any idea where he could be?"
"I dont know, but ill find him alright"
This feeling makes me want to be isolated forever, worrying so much about a person who could really care less about you. I dont even know where to start to find him, ohh maybe where i met him.
Not that its any romantic thing we met at this hidden bar thing for teens, i was the only one not nervous until i saw colson. he was taking a shot but couldnt drink it cause he was laughing at his friends and ended up spitting it out on me, i shouldnt have been that close although he was sexy as fuck i still got mad and before i got the chance to slap him he hugged me tight, i couldnt move my arms. i did yell at him though. he was so fucking drunk he was the life of the party, after the hug he had his arm over my shoulder and dragged me around with him, i was so in a daze i didnt even care that my shirt was stained with tequila.
I dont even know if that place is still open.
"Ohh hey Caleb!"
Caleb 'worked' here at the stereo, thats the name weird i know
Caleb was so chill and never really drank, i used to think he was cute too. He is more like a cute nerd that hung with the 'cool' kids.
"Oh shit Leilani, I would say its nice to see you but the reason youre here is..." he turned around and point in a direction, it was colson of course drink youre problems away. " yea he has been here awhile lucky for him your still by his drunk side."
Caleb always hated that Colson drank so much. I didnt mind even though i shouldve.
"Thanks Caleb, I would say see you soon but yea"
As i walked over to him i debated on what i should say but i was once told 'Sometimes not saying anything is the best answer. You see, silence can never be misquoted' so i just stood there and waited for him to pour his heart out. for him to eat his heart out. for him to do more than what i was, clearly he was hurt clearly he was stressing but about, i had no idea. Out of all the quotes and saying that were told to me i find my own. It is better to die in touch than to die untouched. It may not be the most wonderful way of looking at life but it is my way.
