Im only human, i crash and i breakdown.-
"Leilani you said you were going to tell us last week! omg just say it"
I still havent told them or anyone what happened over Colsons house, i think its obvious but i guess not.
"I uhm he took my virginity ...?"
Only if i recorded their faces, Ari was shocked & KeShaun looked like she already knew.
"You what! Why ?" I honestly dont know why, it just felt right. He truly understands me. That wasnt supposed to happen but it did.
"Ari dont act you didnt know, Anyway Leilani how was it ?"
KeShaun is always the one to keep the mood calm.
"It was good i guess i dont know, it was weird like he already knew how i was going to react "
Ive been talking to Colson everyday now & he acts weird when anything about us having sex comes up. I think he is starting to regret it, we are supposed to hang out today with June & Darrayan. I should ask June about that, she knew Colson way longer than me.
:::::
I dont know wether to be relieved that its just going to be June & I or to be worried because its Darrayan & Colson. June said we are getting our nails done.
I already know what color to get, light purple like lavender, I always get that
"June,Do you know what you want?"
"Yea, this orange or lavender. You have any."
"Funny, I always get lavender. It'll look really pretty on you."
She Scrunched up her face,
"You know thats Colson's favorite color right ?"
Ugh thats the reason i get it, he used to say that although it was his favorite color it looked better on me. I only wore that color to remind me of him, to never forget what he did & how he made me feel.
"Uh huh I know."
"Here get this instead." Then she handed me a red ruby colored polish
"It'll look better on you than any kind of purple. But anyway how do you feel? Colson wouldnt tell me what happened & ive been meaning to talk to you."
Damn, I shouldve known he told her, Colson & June are closer than Darrayan & Colson. June used to tell me how jealous Darrayan used to get.
"I uhm i dont know, I dont regret it"
She shook her head,
"Leilani Im not talking about that, Im talking about how you feel about what happened that night at Anthony's party." Anthonys party ? I havent been to anyone of this partys since....... Fuck
"What Party?"
"You dont have to lie to me, Colson came over drunk the other night. It was just me cause Darrayan was working late. He keep telling me to call you to see if you had stop crying, He said Matthew wouldnt let him see or talk to you."
I havent cried in a while and Matthew and I arent on speaking terms right now, I dont know what he was talking about.
"I had asked what happened & all he would say is that it was his fault what happened by Anthony. He wouldnt calm down & when he did, he sat in a corner with his head in hands. I was so confused. The next morning he wouldnt talk to me he just got up and felt."
Maybe he was having flashbacks, Matthew hated Colson after that night. thats why he told me he burned Colson's shirt he gave me.
" Thats something I cant really talk about, it brings up to much stuff i try to forget"
By this time our nails were drying
"All im saying is if you wont tell me you need to talk to Colson about what happened. Its eating up his self conscious"
I guess thats my next mission.
