July 21st 2016: Not So Frantastic Monday...

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I did my usual routine an when to the gym to run off my problems. So, yeah, my wonderful workout to ay was about an hour long.

I have definitely got a lot of problems...

I got home and I walked in the door with my keys in my hand and the smell of pancakes in the air. I walked up to the kitchen and saw my mom making pancakes. "Hey mama!" I said getting a bottle of water.

"Hey honey. I am making breakfast, want a pancake?" She asked.

"Oh no thank you." I told her. "I'm not hungry." I said shutting the fridge. "Wait, why are you making breakfast?" I asked.

"Oh some of my friends are coming over for brunch." She told me taking a pancakeoff the griddle.

"Oh okay... Do I have to be around for that?" I asked her taking some water.

"Not if you don't want to. Now, here eat a pancake. They are really good and a smell like cinnamon." She told me.

"No, thank you. I am really not hungry... My, ah, run this morning wasn't easy on the stomach." I said sitting on the counter.

"Are you sure that's why your stomach is bothering you... And not some other reason? She asked.

"No, mom. I'm fine. We broke up four days ago... Yeah, I am still crushed. He was the best boyfriend that I have ever had. But, I am pretty sure he meant what he said, so why bother trying to get back with him?"

"Has he tried getting in contact with you?" My mom asked.

"Only like a hundred and fifty times a day... Everyday!!" I said.

"He wants you back." She said not even a second after.

"I don't..." I said hesitant. "There is nothing that for sure." I continued.

"Honey, I know it's hard because this guy is big on the internet, and you have never dealt with dating a celebrity before, but I am telling you this as a parent, he wants you back. He is sorry for what he did." She said.

"You think so?" I asked.

"I know so. If the guy is calling you a hundred and fifty times a day, then he definitely feels like a jerk and he wants you back. Just saying." I jumped off the counter.

"Alright. If he calls again... Then, I'll..." I hesitated, again. "Think about answering the phone, more then I have." She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Alright. I am going to take a shower and maybe catch up with Gillian." I said.. My mother nodded.

"Alright, and please think about giving him another chance. I really like this one." She said.

"I will." I said. I walked up stairs to get in the shower. I got out and blew my hair out and curled it slightly with a straightener and called it a day. I did my silver, sparkly colored make up I went upstairs in my bathrobe and picked out my gray tight skirt and a pink, long-sleeved crop-top. I got dressed with my gray wedges on called it a day. I texted Gillian and told her that I was coming. I grabbed my gray bag that had all my essential crap in it and my keys and went out the door. I got in my car and started it. I went on Twitter:

@SydneyKutzin97: "Just because we aren't speaking, doesn't mean that I can't hang out with her. #OneWithoutTheOther

I sent out the tweet, blast the radio, and got rid of the top. I went off.

About seven minutes and a very close call of an accent form an idiot later, I got to Gill's house. I knock on the door and she answered it. "Hey." She said.

"Hey you!" She said hugging me. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm doing alright... I think." I said.

"Alright, this day is supposed to be fun. Let's not talk about that damn stuff. Come on in." She said, closing the door behind me. "Oh, by the way Sam stooped. I hope that's okay." She told me. I nodded.

Sure... Let your boyfriend, who is best friends with my current ex, intrude on our girl's day.

We walked up to her kitchen and Sam was sitting there. "Hey Sam." I said.

"Hey, Syd." He said back to. "You alright?" He asked.

"I'm alright." I said looked at the floor.

And here it is again...

"Alright." Gillian said. "Why don't we get out of here and go... Somewhere." She said. I shrugged and we got up and went to my car. We got in with Gillian in my driver's and left her house. The top was still down with the windows and I decided to get out my vlogging camera and vlog for a couple of minutes.

After a couple minutes, I was done and I put it away. And I just sat there thinking. Take video that I am going to put to music after. But, most importantly... Hoping...

We got to the Grove and were walking going to Penera Bread when a Sam Pottorff fan stop before we got to the door. He took pictures and signed autographs for them and then that serial moment when of the girls turned to me and said "Yo-your Connor Franta's girlfriend." And at the moment I wanted to drop down crying form hearing the words "Connor" and "girlfriend" in the same sentence. I took a deep breath and smiled at her. "I am." I lied, not having the heart to break her sprits.

"Could I get your autograph too? Please?" She asked. I nodded and took a selfie with of the girls and me and signed my name for them. They hugged me and Sam, thanked me and left with a smile on their faces. We walked into Panera and went and ordered. I smiled and just got and apple and a bottle of water and then Gillian looked at me and said "Your turn." She smiled.

"Oh, just this." I said. Sam treated us and I thank him and Gillian thanked him in a way I couldn't. We went and sat down after our food came. We went and sat down and for the first time about five days I smiled. And I didn't mind at all.

My heart may still be broken, but I know that I can still smile around people I can trust.

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