If Walls Could Talk (Adamtina)

Chapter 18

"Hey, mom."
"Adam, hi! I've been waiting to hear from you."
"Yeah, I know, sorry..." Adam leaned forward in invitation for the sun to warm his back in the chilly air as he dunked his legs in the heated hotel pool.
"How are you doing?" Patsy asked, walking into her friend's guest room with the cordless phone and closing the door.
Adam sighed heavily as he watched Jake swim with his giggling eight-year-old son on his back.
"Not great," Adam replied thickly.
Not great? How about totally fucked?
"Oh no," Patsy replied quickly, her voice dropping. "What's happened?"
Adam circled the water with his foot. He exhaled heavily. He still didn't even really feel like talking about it. It still made him physically sick.
"I did it..." he replied through a tight voice. "I broke up with Claire."
He heard his mom gasp loudly.
"Oh, Adam..." she whispered. "Are you okay?"
Nope. Not even remotely. But I will be. I know I will be.
He sighed into the phone. "No... I feel like crap, mom." He could hear his voice beginning to wobble. "She - she took it really badly.
"Oh, no..." His mom just listened, her voice turning ragged, but clearly waiting for him to go on.
"But, at least, it's done." He could hear how flat he sounded.
"Oh darling... I'm just so sorry." He just nodded back into the phone, his mom's compassionate voice soliciting tears back to his eyes.
"Where are you now?" she asked softly.
"At Jake's hotel... I stayed here last night." He didn't mention the booze-fest.
"And - and Claire?"
Adam felt his heart pinch. "I have no idea... I guess she's still at the house."
His mom was breathing heavily into the phone, her shock evident in the fact that she was finding it hard to speak.
Adam felt his eyes burning. "I just wish - I just wish none of it ever happened to be honest," he whispered.
Patsy's voice was weak. "None of what?"
Adam's vision became blurry as his tears threatened to spill over right into the pool.
"Just none of it... I wish - I wish I never met Claire." A sob nearly escaped his chest as he said the words that were so true.
Patsy inhaled deeply. "Oh son... are you sure you mean that?"
He nodded as tears began to slide down his face, grateful that he was wearing Jake's sunglasses. "I do... I wish I'd never met her so I couldn't hurt her this way."
Patsy sighed softly. "I know."
They just sat there in heavy silence for a few moments before Patsy continued. "And what about... Christina?"
Adam felt his chest tighten again.
"I saw her yesterday... it's what - it's what really made the final decision for me."
Patsy just sat there listening, her hand against her chest.
"I love her," Adam breathed softly. "Seeing her really confirmed it for me."
I do. I love her.
"I know you do," Patsy replied gently, her voice rife with understanding. "You two have always had something very special."
We really do.
"Christina and I, we've - we've got a lot to talk about," Adam continued softly. "But... this was the right thing, mom. It was the right decision."
"I'm sure it was," Patsy replied, still sounding a little shocked.
"Mom, I - I need you to do that thing you said you would do."
Patsy knew what he meant right away. "To call everyone about the wedding?"
"Yes please."
Fuck, this is going to be as humiliating as hell. Is this even happening?
"Sure, darling, of course."
Adam sighed deeply as he reached his hand up to his brow. "That's a lot of calls, mom. Are you -"
Before he could finish Patsy cut back in. " - Don't worry about that. I've got the rest of today and all of tonight. Plus tomorrow. Although I'll obviously let people know as quickly as I can."
"What - what are you going to say?" Adam whispered.
Patsy paused for a few moments. "Well, you tell me, but I would suggest... obviously nothing about Christina... just - just that something very sad has happened; that you and Claire have separated, and that the wedding isn't going ahead. That you're very, very sorry for the trouble. No more details as yet... How does that sound?"
Adam felt his body physically slump as he nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Just go with that."
Well, what the fuck else was there to say?
He considered offering to reimburse everyone for their trip, but he knew that he'd have to contact everybody personally at some point, and he could talk more about that then.
"Oh, and where do I get all the numbers from?" Patsy asked gently.
"I've got them all at home in a spreadsheet that... that Cl-Claire made," Adam replied, his voice wavering as he cleared his throat. "She's meant to be at work today, so I'm gonna go there soon and pick up some stuff. I'll email it to you."
Patsy nodded into the phone. "Okay."
Adam sat up and pulled his long legs out of the water, suddenly realizing he really didn't have that much time.
After he and his mom said their goodbyes, Patsy offering to meet up with him but Adam kindly declining, he considered trying Christina again. But after seeing the ticking clock on his phone he quickly dried himself off and grabbed his stuff, wanting more than anything to just hurry home and do what he needed to before he could run into Claire.
Plus, he knew that if she felt about him the way he did about her, that a few more hours wasn't going to make a big difference. He'd try again later.
***
Christina glanced at herself in her rear-vision mirror at the set of lights. Two crystal blue eyes that were drooping with sadness looked back at her as she contemplated the awful truth. It was now 10:45pm. She'd finished her day without hearing a peep from Adam, despite leaving three pathetic messages. She had originally decided not to attend her wrap party and then changed her mind out of professional guilt, even though she'd spent the entire time with her phone clasped in her hand in case he called.
But he hadn't.
It had been over 24 hours and there was just nothing. Nothing but the memory of that one, beautiful kiss that still possessed her heart, although her faith that it might have meant something more to him was weakening. Her body felt hollow as she drove home through the lonely streets, dreading the emptiness of her house... her king-size bed... the loneliness of a tomorrow that had nothing to occupy it.
She vowed not to cry again as she turned onto her street, making a sharp right to pull into her driveway. And if she hadn't been so focused on the road ahead to avoid hitting her garbage bin like she had a habit of doing, she wouldn't have noticed the dark figure sitting on the ground, leaning upright against her front gate.
Christina nearly choked as she pressed her foot hard on the brake and studied the shape for a moment, before she realized with shock who it was.
It was unmistakably him. She knew his silhouette better than her own and she could find him in any crowd of clones. It was dark, but the perfectly shaped torso, the tufts of thick hair standing up in the moonlight, the long thin legs stretched out in front, the glint against his straight nose, were all undeniably him. Her heart felt like it was going to explode.
***
Christina left the car where it was and quickly turned it off, shrouding his figure in darkness again as she clicked off her headlights.
She opened her door and tumbled out, practically running to him.
"Adam..." Christina breathed, her heart already crying with relief as he looked up at her, his familiar scent flooding her nose as their eyes locked together in the dim light. As soon as they looked at each other, something in the air took a strong shift, the connection that lived between them returning at lightning speed, as Adam took a deep breath and just stared back at Christina, his eyes glistening with tears.
"Hi..." he whispered, his voice weak and his face somber as Christina felt herself suddenly reaching out and scooping him into her arms, the comfort of having him there palpable as she felt his arms fold around her body in immediate response and squeeze her like she was the most precious object in the world.
Goosebumps peppered Christina's body as he pressed his lips into her neck and kissed her softly, holding his lips against her skin as she embraced him, feeling his heart beating hard against hers through his jacket. His arms wrapped themselves around her body so tightly, with such need, that she thought he could hurt her as he squeezed.
"I'm so sorry," Adam eventually whispered as he pulled back a little, wiping his eyes with his fingers, which was when Christina realized he was crying. Her heart sliced in pain as she looked back at him, folding her tiny legs under her so they were both sitting on the deserted sidewalk.
"Don't be sorry..." she breathed as she reached out and softly cupped his cheek in her tiny hand. He exhaled softly at her touch and pressed his face into her hand to show her that he wanted it there, before bringing his hand up and placing it over hers.
"I'm sorry I didn't call you today... last night..." Adam whispered, his voice tight as he sniffed away tears. Christina just shook her head to say it was okay, but he continued his apology anyway. "I tried actually. I tried to call you but your phone was off... and then, I don't know... I just - I went back home to get some things, and - and I just felt like it was all too much, being there again, and I - I don't know, I just decided it was better to come over and wait for you."
Christina was trying to put together the pieces of what might have happened as Adam sat there looking dejected, his fingers stroking her hand that still held his face, the sensation making her body fill with warmth. He just looked so utterly sad; so wounded. The image made her heart split into pieces. She wanted to ask what had happened, but Adam was already talking.
"I - I left her," he whispered, his face twisting at his words.
Hearing it said out loud was still a shock.
Oh my God... he did it - he left her.
So many emotions flooded Christina's body all at once that she was almost drowning in them... she just didn't know what to say or do. She loved him beyond words, and she knew how relieved she was - how lucky - but at the same time, seeing him sitting there looking so broken up about it made her compassion rise above anything else she felt. Relief would come later... right now all she wanted to do was help him.
Christina slid her hand down his face and onto his chest, resting it against his heart. She could feel it pounding almost as hard as her own as he placed his hand over hers again and pulled her into him so she was resting against his chest. It was like he just wanted her as close to him as possible.
Baby...
"I'm so sorry that I'm so upset..." he breathed into Christina's hair as he wrapped his arms around her, tears still dripping from his eyes. She went to reply but he hadn't finished. "Don't take it the wrong way... it - it was the r-right thing and I'm - I'm glad I did it."
Christina just listened as she stroked his arm with her hand, her eyes brimming with tears.
"I'm still just really sad," Adam whispered, before his body shuddered with a few gentle sobs. "We were together a long time and... it's - it's so awful for her."
Christina held onto him tightly. "I know..." she replied, her voice soft and husky. "Of course it is... god, it's an awful thing. I'm so sorry, Adam."
Adam turned his head to the side to rest his cheek on Christina's hair.
"I missed you today... I missed you last night," he breathed, his words making Christina's heart stretch. The fact that he was even saying that to her after what had just happened to him... that he was even here.
"I missed you too," she whispered softly back, continuing to rub his arm before daring to take his hand in hers and lace their fingers together. He responded immediately and squeezed her tiny hand in his.
"I wanted to come here last night..." Adam said softly, his voice carrying a tone of apology. He planted a soft kiss on Christina's hair. She wanted so badly to just turn her head and find his lips with hers, but she knew she shouldn't. Right now she just needed to be a friend. To put absolutely no pressure on him. "But I was like literally in shock," Adam continued, his voice tightening. "She was just so angry with me, and - and she kicked me out. So I went to see Jake, who's obviously in town."
Christina could feel her face wince. Despite how she felt about him, this was really hard to hear. She truly felt incredible empathy for Claire. If Adam had walked out of her life two days before they were meant to get married she didn't think she could survive.
"When did you - when did you talk to her?" Christina asked gently, not wanting to push him.
He swallowed tightly. "After she got home from work last night... basically, as soon as..." his hand tightened around hers. "As soon as I kissed you I knew it's what I had to do."
Christina heard the gasp that fluttered from her throat as she lifted her head up to look at Adam. He just looked down at her, his eyes ablaze with warmth and glassy with tears. She looked down at his lips... his beautiful, perfect mouth was so close to hers. It made hers water.
Oh Adam... please...
He reached up and brushed his thumb over Christina's bottom lip, pulling it down slightly as her heart pounded. His eyes looked at her lips for a long moment before he looked back up at her eyes.
"My Christina..." he breathed softly, his face inches from hers, his breath sweet against Christina's face as she silently begged for him to kiss her. But instead he reached up and stroked the side of her cheek, his eyes all over her face.
"I want to kiss you... you know I do..." he whispered into her face, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. She just swallowed hard as her heart raced and twisted and dived. "But I..." He caressed her cheek. "But I - I just need a bit of time," he whispered, his brow furrowing a little with frustration.
Of course he does. He's just called off a wedding that was meant to happen in two days. He just ended a very serious relationship. Of course he's totally messed up right now. You need to give him time, Christina.
Christina nodded into his hand and looked back at him, hoping he could see the emotions she was trying to express through her eyes. The love for him. The care for his well-being. The understanding.
"I know..." she whispered and Adam's lips lifted so slightly into almost a smile. It was an expression of gratitude. He looked genuinely relieved that she understood.
"I'm here for you, Adam." Christina said softly, her eyes sincere as they held onto his. "I'm not pushing you for anything. Whatever you need... I'm just here as - as your friend."
As long as it takes. I'm not going anywhere.
Adam's eyes softened even more as he looked back at her, his fingers still stroking her gently. "You know I want more than that," he whispered, his voice husky. He breathed deeply. "But right now, it's just still so close to... I don't know, it's just..."
I get it, Adam... I do. It still feels a little like cheating. The body of his last relationship is still very warm.
Christina placed her hand on his to steady it as she looked right at him. "I totally get it, Adam," she said softly. He just nodded back at her with affection, their mutual understanding as clear as the desire they knew they both felt.
We'll work this out... somehow.
"I'm glad I came here," Adam said gently, his face flushed with vulnerability. "The only person I want to be with right now is you."
Christina just still couldn't believe this was even happening. That she could be this fortunate. She knew in her heart she'd never hurt him again. "I'm so glad you're here, too," she breathed, her eyes tight with his. "Stay as long as you like... no pressure... for - for anything."
Adam gave Christina a final grateful squeeze of her hand before he slowly moved his body up to stand, cueing Christina to rise up to her feet. Adam wavered a little as he reached down for the duffel bag that had been sitting beside him and slung it over his shoulder.
"How long have you been sitting here?" Christina asked softly.
Adam released a tiny chuckle. "Nearly three hours."
"Oh God, Adam!" She replied as she quickly pulled out her keys to unlock her gate. "You need to come inside..." She knew she'd be able to come back and park her car properly later, which was already safely in her driveway. Christina's head spun around as she opened the gate and she spotted his car across the other side of the road, which she hadn't even noticed as she'd arrived home. The image of it sitting there, outside her house again, made her heart fill even more.
Her house was lovely and warm, and something felt so right - so cozy - about him suddenly being there, sitting at her kitchen bench as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them, as she pulled out a delicious risotto she'd ordered the night before and heated it up for him. She stared at him and repeated silent thank you to whoever was responsible for bringing him back to her.
Claire's name never came up again in the short time they were awake. Christina was careful to sit on the stool opposite Adam rather than next to him as they chatted about her last day at work and his upcoming projects, both of them beginning to relax and a few small smiles returning to Adam's face as Christina plugged him with silly jokes and gentle banter.
But the tension between them was practically tangible. The thick atmosphere of desire hung heavy in the air as they accidentally brushed fingers as they loaded the dishwasher; when Adam sprung Christina eyeing off the veins in his forearm, which she used to always tell him she found sexy; and when Christina mentioned she was going to have a quick shower. She could clearly see his face change color and his mouth fall open slightly when she said that, but nothing further happened and he didn't follow her in. Christina was adamant that she wouldn't be the one to make the first move given the circumstances, and Adam mostly floated through her house like a man corrupted by shock and exhaustion.
And when they both couldn't keep their eyes open anymore, Christina stood awkwardly in her hallway, a silk robe covering her tiny silk nightgown, and gently asked Adam if he'd prefer to take the guest room. He just stood there staring back at her, electricity buzzing hot in the air as they looked at each other, before he whispered, "Can I - can I come and lie with you?"
It was all Christina could do to stop herself from running right up to his painfully gorgeous face and pulling it down to hers; taking his tongue and kissing, licking, sucking away some of that unbearable tension that was eating up every fragment of air in the room. But instead, she just stood there and nodded softly before opening the door to her bedroom, her heartbeat so loud she was sure he could hear it.
The air was silent but the atmosphere deafening as Adam pulled his t-shirt off and his jeans down and slipped between her sheets, while Christina shyly kept her eyes on the floor and pulled her robe off, quickly getting into bed as she felt his hands pulling her immediately into him.
Christina just lay there completely still for a moment, her heart beating so hard in her throat she thought she could be sick as her head stayed pressed into his warm chest; but after a few minutes, when she gently lifted her face to see what he was thinking, she realized he was already asleep.