COMPATIBLE INDIFFERENCE

Chapter 17

Uncannily, that same question has been whispering in and out of my head for the last week and for an unknown reason. Would I like them to be together if Will is out of the picture? In the first place, why has that question popped in my head? I looked at Jam. "I don't know, Jam. I really don't know. Why did he want to talk to her alone last night?"

Jam looked at me weirdly but fell into deep thought. I took her comb and brushed her golden crown which I haven't seen for many years. She turned to me and finally said, "Sam, go and talk to Lou. She'll tell." I nodded. She's correct. All these assumptions will remain as they are until answered by both subjects.

Yet, I don't know why I can't simply ask Louise when we are always open to each other. It should be easy for me. My hesitation led to procrastination until Louise herself asked me about it over lunch, a couple of days after.

"Hey, Sam. I've been waiting but you're such a slowpoke. Jam told me you have something to ask. What is it?" Thank you, Jamaica for giving me a headstart but I'll kill you later when I get the chance. Since the balloon has popped, it would be better to grace it with caution. "Sam, you're lost again in that world of yours. What's up?"

"Nah, I don't want to pry but yes, I'd like to ask. My curiosity is killing me. What did you and Tom talk about that night when Jam got wasted?" Lou looked at me congenially. "Ah, so that's what you're curious about?" I shrugged my shoulders absently and played with the straw of my drink. "C'mon, Sam. Don't downplay it with a shrug. Jamaica said it's very important. What made you ask?"

"Hmm... the essence that he wants to talk to you alone when he can do so when we're all together. That's all." Lou smiled at me and leaned forward. "Why? Are you jealous?" "What do you mean jealous?! Why would I be jealous, I'm just curious." And worried that my speculations are true. "Are you, really?" Lou eyed me narrowly. "Louisa. Jealousy is not on my vocabulary." Lou looked at me and nodded. "Yes, it has never been on your dictionary ever since. It's interesting though why it isn't."

I wondered at her statement. "What are you talking about?" She smiled at me instead. "Tom and I talked about my engagement. He was asking why it was too fast. If I'm pregnant or did Will threatened me or vice versa. That's it." I scoured her face for any signs of lies. "Is that it?" She nodded. 

"No, there is something else. You've got that twinkle in your eye. He could have asked that when we're all together." "Oh, c'mon, Dharts. You're way too overreacting. We talked about my engagement. I don't know why he has to ask me alone but it's called a brotherly reaction."

"A brotherly reaction?" Lou then explained to me that Tom thinks of her as a younger sister and was just worried that this lifetime decision initiated with a rash one. She looked so serious and convincing. The feeling that there is more to that conversation she's telling me needs to die down. When curiosity became part of my career it taught me how to control it too. I'm a rational person after all.

The night after, I was hanging out with Tom at his newly renovated apartment. Lou spent the weekend with Will's family in Oregon for her soon-to-be in-law's 50th wedding anniversary while Jam and her co-associates went on a trip to Nevada. I was supposed to enjoy a restful weekend alone until Tom invited me over for dinner.

He was focusing on the NBA preliminaries when I decided to forego my hesitation. Let's forget about the logical me and ask Tom my question. "Hey, Jacobs." With mouth half-full of pizza, he turned to me, "Yep?" "What did you and Lou talked about that night you dropped me and Jam at my apartment?" He paused for a moment, trying to recall that night.

"Well, I expressed my concern about her fast engagement. That's it. Nothing important." He took another pizza from the box and focused again on the game. "Is that it? Nothing else?" He peered at me for a moment and confidently nodded. Well, I guess they are entitled to their own secrets.

My phone rang waking me up to my sulking moment. I excused myself and went to his kitchen. When I get back, the TV was on mute and Tom was sitting stiffly on the couch, waiting for me. "What's up?" I asked while grabbing the last pizza on the box. "Why are you talking to that guy?"

Surprised that he knew who I was speaking to, I snickered at him. "Why am I not allowed to speak with whoever I want especially when I voluntarily gave my phone number?" Tom threw a sigh and looked at me. "C'mon, Samantha. Answer me seriously. Why are you still answering that guy's calls?"

Tom has always called Mike as 'that guy'. I guess it's more fitting now that he and I were no longer together. We live in the same city so it would be very weird if we will be continuously awkward. We have agreed to be adults about this which I admire from him. So I see no sense in rejecting his call. It's curious though why Tom was looking at me like I committed one of the seven deadly sins.

"Samantha. Why are you still talking to him?" I chuckled while munching my pepperoni. "Because he wants to speak to me. So there. What's the big deal, Jacobs?" He took the empty box of pizza between us and faced me. "What's the big deal? You broke up. That's it. You should draw the line. You shouldn't laugh or giggle like a teenage girl when he talks to you."

I sighed and patted his knee. I swallowed my last bite and washed away my pizza with Coke. "I can still be a teenage girl. And you know how fun Mike can be. He is genuinely full of laughs. So if he throws a joke, should I keep it in? That would be an absurd reaction, Jacobs."

He looked at me annoyingly. "I hate it when you're reasonable on this. So what does he need?" "He wants to personally talk to me about something tomorrow. And since my girls are elsewhere, how can I say no to a free dinner?" I smiled at him.

"If you want free dinner, I can freaking do it for you. Are you planning on getting back together?" I shrugged my shoulders casually. He turned off the television. "Hey, I thought you wanted to check the game?" "I'll watch the reruns and you're not answering my question." I turned to him and saw his eyebrows huddled in annoyance. This is an interesting take on friendship. I'll add it up to my encyclopedia of human interaction.

"Hey, why are you so fired up on this? We're going to have dinner to talk about something he can't say on the phone. I'm not getting back with him. And if I do, didn't they say that love is sweeter the second time around?" Teasing him is so much fun.

In frustration, he stood up and opened the windows. I stared at his back, amused with his reaction. "I'm not sure if it's because of me but your actions are more dramatic than finding out Lou's engagement. And it's just dinner. You're almost acting like my brothers though minus the warmth. Care to tell me?"

He turned around and looked at me the same way that night at Batras, at the park, and at those brief moments, I caught him staring at me. His eyes kindled with a strong intention. His hands balled up with determination. The light on the emergency exit shined on him like a resolute soldier. I stood up in response. Are we going to war or something? I looked at him in question and prepared for the worst.

"I like you."