COMPATIBLE INDIFFERENCE

Chapter 18

I smiled at him and nodded. "I like you too. That's why you're one of my best friends." He snickered at me, his hands in his pockets. "If only that was the case Samantha but no." He looked at me fiercely this time. "I like you."

Stunned with the development of this night, I felt my knees go weak. I sat down and stared at the dead television. So it wasn't a take on friendship then. I can hear the sound of my heart thumping so loudly. My cheeks flushed as fleeting images of the past came rushing through.

Those times I would catch him looking at me, I would describe it blank. I would conveniently repress the memory and stop myself from rationalizing it. Jam and Louise already knew. All those hints they made and me? I was wrapped up in my own world. As always.

He sighed. "I should have told you from the start. I just don't want to risk what we have. When you started dating Mike, I decided to bury my feelings for you. You were happy but he was selfish. He was busy running his cafe and tending his jealousy with your friends. Yes, I know. He was always annoyed every time we get together. He masks it by being the center of everyone's attention. Cancel the dinner, Sam."

Startled by the sudden command, the initial shock of his confession simmered. I looked up and saw him standing defiantly. "He doesn't understand you better than we do. Better than I do. There is no use in getting back with him. Don't be pathetic and surround yourself with his pretentious self. Again."

I stood up abruptly and looked at him squarely. "Those are harsh words, Jacobs. I understand you are concerned about the matters of my heart but you don't have any authority in telling me what to do. Yes, I like being pathetic. Look at me. Look at us. We've been enemies for god, how long then here I am with you. And just because you told me that you like me, I would suddenly be smitten away by this misplaced jealousy and anger? Gosh, this all seems too familiar. This is pathetic. " I snickered at him

"Do you think this is pathetic? I like you for I don't know how long or when it started then you describe it as pathetic? And don't even subtly compare me with that guy." His face flushed in anger and resentment.

I grabbed my coat and bag and head for the door. "Nothing changes, huh? The same old Sam. You'll just go and run away." I stopped cold in my tracks and turned to him. "Yes, you're correct. I'm good at running away. Give me a good reason to stay."

Silence filled the room. I gave him the look that I thought I would never show him ever again. Surprised, he opened his mouth to say something but I slammed the door and drowned his unspoken plea.

I drove home unsettled. Thomas Jacobs is a man of secrets. Does he have a dozen more baggage that I don't know? He said he likes me? Scoffing, I heard my phone ringing and saw his name on the screen. I switched my phone off and sped away to my apartment.

The next morning, I had doubled my daily run to calm my nerves but it's still in a wreck. I guess it's one of those times where problems that have to do with Tom does not get resolved with just loads of sweat. The only solution is to take one day at a time.

I met Mike at the coffee shop later that day. His staff greeted me cheerily. Mike is a good boss and regardless of how things between us ended, it's always a pleasure to be back at his warm café. He welcomed me to his newly-opened restaurant adjoining the shop. We exchanged pleasantries as he led me to our seats. He asked me suddenly if I was okay. Curious, I asked him why he thought so. "Your eyes are lonely. Though you're good at masking it, tonight you failed to."

I sneered at him. He still gets me at times. "I'm okay, dude. Let's make my eyes happy. What do you have here?" He stared at me for a second then showed me the menu. We gradually fell into casual conversation and talked about his new business venture, my work at the clinic and the reason he invited me tonight.

His younger cousin suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder in high school and refused to counsel. The family is afraid something may happen to him and he is trying to get suggestions on how they can help him. We had a long, serious discussion over what can and can not be done for his cousin.

He offered to take me home. Our conversation progressed to lighter topics such as his employees' love scandals. Then, in turn, he asked me a curious question, "Are you and Tom finally dating?" Startled, I turned to him and asked, "What do you mean we're FINALLY dating?"

He raised his hands in surrender, "It's just a passing question, Sammy. It's obvious he likes you. It's good that you haven't noticed it when we were together but it's interesting why you didn't. I'm not in the scene now so, is he still lurking around and waiting for the moon to turn to blue?" I playfully punched him and shook my head. "Tom and I are friends. We will always be. That's how we are." He shrugged his shoulders in response and smirked at me.

We arrived at my apartment. We got out of his car, consoled him about his cousin and hugged each other goodbye. I pushed the half-opened front door of the apartment complex. I was scolding Frank on my head for leaving this open until I saw the culprit looking at me with his face set. "So, one date night and you and him were back to good ol' times?"

Exhausted, I looked at Tom passively and passed by him. "Please, don't ruin my evening Tom. I have work tomorrow. Let's talk next time. Goodnight." I nodded a hello at Frank, the floor manager who was watching the television at the reception desk nearby. He raised his brows in question as I entered the timely elevator. Before it closed, a hand stopped it.

Tom entered the elevator and stood beside me. "Sam, can we please talk now?" I ignored him and glanced at my watch. 11:30 in the evening. "We need to talk. Please."

Determined on not paying him attention, we arrived at my floor. I fumbled through my purse for my keys, when Jacobs blocked my doorway. "Please." I looked at him icily, suddenly remembering him from high school. The boy who irritated me so much. The man who's winding me up right now. I raised my brows haughtily, crossed my arms and waited.

"I'm sorry for being authoritative last night. It's not my place. I said those things to protect you. To not let yourself get hurt, again. I don't understand why are you letting him back in your life. You have always set high expectations, why is it different now?"

I inhaled sharply. "To protect me? Thanks a lot. But how do I protect myself from you? I've known you most of my life, Jacobs. But I don't know who you are right now. If this is how you're going to be when you get jealous, I don't know if we can even still stay as friends."