The Family Hustle (Drugs,Love&Money Book 4)

Chapter Twenty: Dice (Five Months Later)

Never did I think in a million years I would be in the position I am in now. When kids sit down and plan their life out and shit, I'm pretty sure nobody thought about the one I have and was like "hey, lets choose that one". For the most part, I've had the short end of the stick. And I've been dealing with it for years. Sitting here now though, with nothing to call my own, isn't something I expected. Jade is never going to talk to me again; that's pretty clear. I guess I never really gave her a chance at her own life. All this time she has been living for me. I will never take complete blame because like I said before, Jade did what Jade wanted to do. I also didn't stop it before it got too far. She didn't ask to be born in this fucked up family. She has a money hungry father and a mother who didn't give a shit about her since day one. I thank God every day for Zion being an influence on her life.

Zion. I single handily fucked that all up. Time after time, I put her in situations where she had to show her loyalty. And time after time she has always chose me. She's put me before everything so many times and I couldn't seem to do the same for her. I've had nothing but time to think of my wrong doings but I couldn't figure out where the hell I messed up at. I'm still so in love with her, yet in my mind, I was willing to end her precious life to save my own. I convinced myself that I was doing it for Junior, but we all knew that was some bull shit. Now I won't be able to see Zion or my son again. I didn't have my father in my life and I was barely in Jade's until she was already grown. I didn't want to keep the cycle going. I don't think I have a choice in the matter anymore.

I laid on that floor next to my father's lifeless body for hours. Ever since he was taken away from me at a young age, or so I thought, I just wanted that relationship with him. Just to be able to do anything for him and he tells me how proud of me he is. With me being in the game, I even thought we could run this together. Father and son; biggest dope dealers in the city. Better yet the entire coast. Fuck it, best in the entire country. I was ready to take this shit national. I guess I was too blind by the dream to notice the motives he had. In a way, we were just alike. We cared about people, yes, but at the end of the day it was about the coin. It was about how we can come up and be greater than what we are. Love is a powerful thing, and Jade's love for Zion ended his life right before my eyes. I thought she was going to smoke me too that day, but I think a part of her still has hope for me as her father. At least that's what I'm hoping.

I never had the opportunity to handle Juno. Nigga put a bounty on my head just because he was a little hurt. This is the drug game; there's no trusting anybody. That's where he fucked up at. He honestly made it too easy for me to take his empire from up under him. Little nigga wasn't careful enough. He's a bitch nigga for not seeking me and handling me himself. I haven't heard or seen the little nigga lately, so maybe he's laying low. I'm going through too much already to waste energy trying to find a nigga that'll probably piss his pants when he sees my face.

I handed over my entire operation to Gino. He was like the son I wish I would've had, if I was still planning on being in the streets. I gave him the dream that I had for my father and me. A part of me thinks he looked up to me. I don't know why; I ain't shit to look up to. I gave him the best advice I could about this game. Never fall in love and never trust a mother fucking soul. Not even me.

I heard through the grapevine that Jade and Malachi were reunited. Just for him to die from cancer in his lungs. I tried reaching out when I heard the news, but of course it was rejected. I can't relate to losing someone you love like that. I lost my father but I don't believe that's the same thing as losing someone you planned an entire life with. I know she doesn't want it, but all I can do is be there for Jade and support her.

I'm not one to be around dead bodies, which is crazy. I've killed a lot of people in my time but being around a cold corpse just doesn't sit right with me at all. I found out when the funeral was and decided to give me condolences but I damn sure wasn't going in. I followed everyone to the grave site and watched from a distance as they dropped Navontae's body in the dirt. I had the urge to go over and comfort my daughter but I saw Zion and I don't want the attention to be on me at all.

I sat in my car for almost two hours waiting for Jade to come towards me. When she finally did, my heart dropped. This is her time of grieving and I know seeing my face isn't going to heighten her mood at all. But before she moves on in life and I do the same, I want us to have one last talk. She put her shades on and I saw my grandchildren grab onto her hand. It's either now or never. I got out the car and slowly strolled towards her. Larry spotted me before they did.

"Grandpa!" he said running over to me and hugging me. Lashawn hung on to Jade and stared, which I don't blame him. Lashawn was a mysterious boy and had a lot of his mother's ways. He'd observe a situation before acting on it. Which it surprising for someone his age.

"Hey, stink."

She whispered something is Lashawn's ear and then he ran off to get into a limo. She came closer to me and took off her shades. I could read nothing in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard about Malachi and came to show my support. I tried reaching out to you but it seemed you got a new number."

"I did."

We stood in an awkward silence and I was trying to find the words to say. I honestly didn't think I'd get this far with her.

"Thank you for coming. Believe it or not, it means a lot. But I don't need my family poisoned by you anymore."

"Poisoned?"

"You and I together, is just toxic for my kids. I don't want to raise them in the environment you and I were raised in. I want them to have a chance to actually make it the fuck outta here. And I don't see that happening with you around."

I started to protest but decided against it. Who am I to judge her parenting? She grabbed Larry's hand and proceeded to walk away from me.

"Hey, Jade!"

She looked back at me but didn't say anything.

"About ... everything that happened. I-"

"Already forgiven dad."

She put her shades on and gave me a small smile. I put my hands in my pocket and watched my daughter and grandchildren walk away from me for good this time. And it was nothing I could do about it. I honestly don't think I would. It's for the best I stay away. Well, until they are old enough to decide if they want me around or not.

A familiar scent crossed my nose, making me quickly turn around. Zion stood behind me dressed in all black and holding Junior. She was the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. All I wanted to do was grab her and hold her like I used to. For her to tell me she forgives me and that she'll take me back. To hear her sweet song in my ear just one last time. But that's a dream that a fairy godmother couldn't make come true.

"Hello, Dyshawn."

"Hey, Zion."

"It's good to see that you came, despite everything that happened."

"Yeah, guess I'm not all that cold."

I smiled at her but she didn't return my smile.

"I think it's possible we can set up an arrangement for you to see Junior. I won't keep him from you."

"Zion, I really appreciate that. Maybe we can talk about us and what we got going on from here."

She reached into her purse and pulled out some papers. I read it over then looked up at her confused.

"You want to get a divorce?"

"I feel that what all you've put me through, you can at least give me this."

"But ... what about-"

"I love you, Dyshawn, I always will. You take care of yourself, okay?"

She kissed my cheek then followed the same path as Jade. Out of my life forever.