Indolent Heart (Completed) [R-18]

8 : Indecent

Indecent - sexually offensive or shocking
of clothes; not covering enough of your body; using language that offends people; including behavior or ideas that people find offensive

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Kim

The night is silent yet deadly. It was as if even the night makes me realize that everything is dark and complicated. I was silently sitting on the sofa near a sleeping man whom I call the beast. Nakatingin lang ang aking mga mata sa kanya habang siya'y tahimik na natutulog. His facial hairs grew longer yet still he looks so handsome in my eyes.

I felt like my life just totally stopped. Hindi ko alam kung paano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay ngunit kailangan. Kahit hindi ko alam kung saan at paano. But one thing's for sure, I don't want to do that without him.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. The light coming from the lamp shade made me see him. He was peacefully sleeping. This Jaguar sleeps like an innocent man but the truth is, he isn't. He is dangerous. He is deadly.

" I call you a beast and yet I myself won't believe that. Why is that so?" I whispered thinking that he isn't listening to what I am telling him at all.

I was about to touch his nose when he suddenly caught my hand. Agad na lumaki ang aking mga mata ng makita ko siyang nakatingin sa akin.

" Shannon" Wika ko sa kanyang pangalan.

Tumingin ako sa kamay ko na hawak hawak ni Shannon.

" Ba't gising ka pa?" His voice was manly. His eyes looks tired.

" Hindi kase ako makatulog" Simple kong sagot sa kanya. Bumangon siya sa pagkakahiga.

" Is there something bothering you?" Seriousness was evident in his voice. I nodded.

" Gusto ko lang malaman kung may problema ba tayo?" There, I've said it. I took all the courage to ask him.

He stayed silent for a moment as he looked into my eyes.

" I don't see anything wrong with our relationship. Do you?" He asked me back. Huminga ako ng malalim.

I heard him sigh before he bowed down his head. Yumuko siya. He was not saying anything. All he did was to look down.

Naramdaman ko na lamang ang kanyang kamay na humaplos sa kamay ko. He held my hand and placed it on his lips. I looked at him straight in his eyes. His eyes were watery.

" What is it that bothers you? Tell me" He calmly said. But I can see a different shade of emotion in his eyes.

Hindi ko lubos mawari kung gaano kasakit sa dibdib na makita si Shannon na ganon ang mga mata sa harap ko.

" I am so in love with you that it hurts me so much, Kimberly" He voiced out.

" I'm sorry Shannon. I'm sorry because I am making you feel this way. I am sorry because I made you doubt my feelings for you. At nasasaktan ako tuwing nakikita kitang nasasaktan. Nasasaktan ako tuwing nakikita kong pinapabayaan mo na ang iyong sarili. Shannon, I may have called you with the most unacceptable words but now I proved myself wrong. I don't want to see you hurt Shanon." I told him. He pulled me into a tight embrace.

" Alam mo ba kung ano ang nasa isip ko kanina, Kim? I was actually thinking of you ending things between us. You're no longer pregnant with my child that's why I don't have any hold on you anymore. I fear that one day, you would just leave me. Natatakot ako na iwan mo ako, Kim. Dahil hindi ko alam kung papaano ko ipagpapatuloy ang buhay ko kung wala ka. I've got everything a businessman could ask for but I don't have the only woman I ever dreamed of." He said. I took his hand and placed it on my chest where my heart is located. Alam kong ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.