Touchy

Chapter 9

Double upload because I can, might even be triple. 

My extra maths session finishes at four, no minutes or even seconds before that so once I've packed my bag and gathered myself together as best I can (basically me going for a nervous wee that hasn't really helped me feel any better), it's pretty much five past. I think that's really bad, being late for a time you've agreed on. Especially considering there's no traffic for me to be stuck in apart from my own footsteps, which is no excuse.

Hurriedly, I march along the corridor, winding up outside eventually. My bag's falling down my shoulder – I knew I should have put both straps on, but I just didn't want to waste anymore time. I feel ridiculous that I'm thinking about wasting a few seconds, but after being five minutes or so past the set time, I feel terrible. Punctuality runs alongside me, it's a part of me. It's in my bloodstream now and will be for eternity.

As I'm walking, my mind is spinning. Everything I shouldn't be doing, I'm doing. Meeting and talking to strangers – completely wrong. Not going home straight after school's finished, tick, although I have texted mum saying I'm going to be slightly late. It's just another lie that I've fabricated that I never would have before. Plus, I lied to Phoebe that I just 'went to the toilet,' when in actual fact I was talking to a person who I first encountered in an alleyway when I was bunking off – another tick. All of these I've done, and all of these I've never done before this term.

Something in me has shifted. Whether it's good or bad, I don't know. Everything is screaming at me that it's wrong, but I don't know what's correct anymore. I'm not the same person I was a month ago, yet alone a year ago. People change. I'm just hoping mine's for the better even though everything is pointing in the opposite direction. I know I shouldn't be doing any of these things, but I am. My curious mind is taking over, seeming to outweigh the repercussions. Then again, maybe my brain is trying to manipulate my thoughts into thinking all of this isn't as bad as it really is – or how is sounds. No, it sounds the way it is. Can I back out? Do I want to? Not really and I think that's wrong. Maybe there's something subconscious inside me that's pulling me along.

When I finally manage to get out, so that I'm on the other side of the school gates, my heart's beating hard and my breathing is irregular from pacing. Even my feet are taking a zero from carrying my weight over here at double my usual walking speed. The only good thing is that Dagher's still here. As lopsided as the smirk on his face, he's leant backwards on the ancient oak tree that's firmly rooted into the ground.

His emerald eyes fall on me instantly, moving away from the ground at his feet as if he knew I was here all along. There's something eerie about it, yet enticing that I start to walk slowly over to him. Perhaps it how the sun's casting through the clouds, illuminating this section of land. Or, more than anything, it's my own enquiring mind that does it.

"You know, I never actually understood the reasoning behind learning about the goings on of all this plant life." Blankly, I walk closer over and it's only when I actually look, I see a tiny leaf in his palm. It can't be any larger than two inches in length yet the amount of green shades within it is astonishing. "Why do I really need to know that a leaf has a waxy cuticle to be waterproof?" He meets my eyes for a few seconds as if I'm going to give him the answer he's searching for. Giving up after a few seconds, he drops his gaze and with it, the leaf that flutters elegantly down to the soil below.