Bad Blood - (Fransykes)

Chapter seven

A/N: Hey my lovelies, not much to say here other than there's a slight mention of drug use/suicide but I guess you all know that by now in this story. This is basically what you've all been waiting for and I hope it fixes your little fragile hearts </3

Lyrics in the beginning of this chapter is BMTH -Hospital For Souls and the rest I sort of made up lol

~~

Oli's POV

No matter how fucked you get, sorrow is there when you come back down. I just wanted the numb inside me to leave.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. I can't fear death, no longer I've died a thousand times.

No one will ever understand how much it hurts. When your whole world is suddenly brutally ripped from you, you feel helpless, like nothing can save you. And the sad thing is you want nothing to save you. You just want it to end so you're finally at peace.

Through the thick strands of my long ragged hair I stare at my beloved sunshine through the gaps in the blinds. I shouldn't be out of bed let alone out of the room they confined me in, but I had to see him with my very own eyes again. I thought my eyes had deceived me, just another one of my crazy hallucinations running wild, a ghost from my past. No, he was actually real and breathing the same air as me. My beautiful sunshine had survived whilst this entire time I believed he was dead and shamefully tried many attempts to join him in a fake grave.

I rest my forehead and hand sluggishly against the window as I gaze sorrowfully in on the broken soul I'm to blame for. His head hung low with his shoulders slump and looking broken. A gloomy cloud hovered over his head, darkening his days as if they will never fade and brighten again.

My trembling hand hopelessly reaches out for him behind the glass but I'm unable to reach him, just like all the times before.

My body broken, bruised, weak and defeated. Tired eyes rimmed with unfallen tears and an aching soul which desperately yearns for only one thing in particular. My eyes fixated on him and nothing else. I still can't bring myself to believe he's actually awake even though he's right in front of me. I could stand here for hours just staring at him and I still don't think it would feel real.

He sat glumly on the hospital bed, looking beaten and fragile as if the life has been sucked out of him. It's been weeks, maybe even a couple of months believing he was gone and him believing I abandon him... its bound to do some damage.

I've taken the warmth and glow away from my sunshine and I fear that there's no chance of ever getting it back again. I wanted to make it all better, I wanted to fix what was broken but why would he want me back?

I caused all of this. He's in this state because of me why would he want me back after everything I put him through? He most probably hates me... and I don't blame him. I'd hate me too.

I feel a lump quickly form in my throat at the thought and a stray tear manages to slip from my eye amongst the flickering of my eyelashes.

I promised him I'd stay, that I wouldn't leave his side but I easily broke that promise because I was a coward to admit how I really felt, I was too proud. I left like a ghost in the silence without a trace or a goodbye. I'd promise him I wouldn't let anybody hurt him but that's exactly what I let happen. I let him get tortured, abused and shot where he was literally on the brink of death... I broke all my promises to him and hurt him in the most brutal, unforgiving way possible. I walked away heartlessly and let him walk straight into a trap where he was abused of all his innocence.