The Shadow of an Angel // JACE WAYLAND (ON HOLD)

VI

My body immediately tensed, but I forced myself to roll my eyes and stroll towards my nightstand where I set my drink down. "Give me a minute to get ready for bed, and maybe I'll consider letting you do whatever you have planned. No doubt it's probably insane."

Jace put a hand to his heart, a mockery of offense. "Wherever did you get that idea?"

I said nothing as I walked into my bathroom and shut the door behind me, but a small smile didn't fail to grace my lips.

"I'll be back!" Was all I heard before my bedroom door opened and slammed shut.

I only shook my head as I ran water over my tooth brush. That boy...

I chuckled as I began to brush my teeth, following with a quick yet blissful shower. I'd much rather've taken a bath, but I knew for a fact that I would've fallen asleep in the warm, soothing water within minutes, and I was just not for waking up looking like a prune. Sighing in contentment and relief at the pain-alleviating affects of the warm shower, I made my way to my bed, crawling under the covers and curling up into a small ball as I downed the rest of the now luke-warm tea. I didn't bother drying my hair after running a brush through it a few times, instead just letting my head hit the pillow and savoring the immediate comfort of it. Upon returning to the institute, I hadn't taken a single night of being able to sleep in a bed again for granted. I'd forgotten how much I'd missed it all those nights spent in that cage.

Shivering at the memories, I pulled the covers tighter around myself. I reasonably figured that Jace wasn't returning since it'd been nearly thirty minutes since he'd left, but I didn't mind.   I needed to focus on how on earth I was going to get any sleep with my head still pounding anyway. Before, it'd just been nightmares that I'd needed to overcome– and I'd slowly made progress with it during my time at the institute. But after my capture...seeing Daniel's face brought back every damned memory. Of what he did to my mother, my sisters. Of the man that'd taken his place as my father because my real one had been too much of a monster to even understand the concept of love. Even three to four hours of sleep had been a blessing before, but now...?

I could've put myself out of this. The idea crossed my mind before I had time to register it.

How selfish and dramatic are you? Do you never think about others?

It wouldn't've made a damn difference!

Self-pity is disgusting. And it was. I knew it–I knew it. So what the hell was I saying?

The two voices raged, me personally having no control over them. But they were both mine. I agreed with both no matter how ludicrous they sounded.

I don't understand why it has to be about everyone else.

I don't understand why you think it should be about you. We've gone over this again and again and again. Everyone else has said it. What don't you understand about people caring about you?

So what if they care? I don't live for them!

Narcissistic, selfish bitch. That voice hissed.

I just don't get it! ,The other screamed. I don't want to live for others!

God, I was insane. I–

I sat up, the pain suddenly becoming blinding. My breaths were short rasps as I palmed the side of my head, trying to get the screaming out of my mind. Trying to block out the noise.

I didn't register the click of my door as it opened, didn't register my name on someone else's tongue as it slammed shut and footsteps slowly approached my bed. Didn't register anything of the outside world until rough yet gentle hands grasped my own and pulled them away from my head. My eyes were still closed, and I made no move to open them. I didn't care who or what was around me; I just wanted the noise and the pain gone.