The Vampire King's Pet

apologies are always made late

Devon's POV

She has changed so, so much. She used to be a little shy, a little clumsy, and very innocent. Watching the woman in front of him with no qualms to killing, he felt she had turned savage and vengeful.

He knew, though. It was all because of him.

"Ana, please stop!" I cried out in helplessness.

I went down on my knees. I knew though that even if I did this, I will never be able to earn her forgiveness but I had to try. I have to make amends on our past and for our future.

"What are you doing?" She asked me, her eyes confused as to why I was doing this.

"I'm sorry Ana..." I whispered. Guilt, sadness and most of all regret ran through my veins as I saw her again after five long years. "Please, don't do this anymore."

She's beautiful. My wolf, Blaez, commented with longing as he eyed her. He then felt a surge of powerlessness as he thought of how his mate was in another man's arms.

And for the first time, I admitted, truly and honestly. Yes, she is.

It's because of you! If you hadn't been such a bastard, my mate didn't have to suffer! She should've been happy, protected, and loved. Blaez made a low guttural sound. I could feel his anger. At the same time, I could feel a painful tug in his soul.

Blaez was resisting their bond, rejecting me as his host. In an anger-driven state, Blaez became self-destructive, torturing himself and me both.

If you had been a good mate, right now, she would've still be with us. She would be with our pups. She would have loved us! She-she... Then he went silent. Heartache, pain, anger, sadness, and tremendous yearning. I could feel all that he felt and it was hurting both of us.

"What does this have to do with you? Do you think with you kneeling there looking sad and grim that I'd listen to you?"

It hurt. It hurt, knowing that was she said was true. She was none of my business and she did not have to listen to me.

I was still on my knees as a deafening silence settled on the room. I didn't care that I was looking so pathetic, on my knees begging her for her forgiveness. As long as I could show Ana how sorry I was and still am, it was enough.

"I am sorry Ana... for hurting you all those years ago. I-I-" With trembling hands, I urged myself to say more.

Then, I started blabbering. It's as if my mind was no longer in control and my mouth was moving on its own. "I'm sorry for hurting you, sorry for hitting you, sorry for the all the things I did to you when we were younger.

I am sorry for never being there for you even though I was your mate. I should've taken care of you better, should've loved you more."

"But I was afraid." I said earnestly. Pride was the reason I couldn't admit my fear in the past. Pride was also the reason why I lost her.

"I'm sorry. I was truly, truly afraid of what the pack would say if I loved a human. I was afraid what the pack would say if they found out I had a human for a mate. I was scared of their judgement." Recalling the moments of my youth, I remembered those judgemental eyes of my peers as they teased and jeered at me, asking me what I'd do if I had a human mate.

With a sure answer, I answered in a disgusted tone to them that it would never happen. After all, how could the son of a mighty Alpha have a human mate?

"I am a coward and I'm sorry. I should've shielded you from the abuses instead of being the one instigating them. I should've accepted you for you are. Instead... I-" My voice broke but I continued pouring out what I've been holding on for so long.

I, until now, can't forget the crunch of the bone as I fiercely stepped on her, the soft thuds as my fists repeatedly landed on her small body, and the soft gasps that escaped from her chapped lips every single time I threw her to the ground.

I never had the right to say the next were I was about to say. Not then, not now. But I wanted to say them so that she could understand. It was never her fault. It was all mine. It was not her fault for being human. It was my fault for having no courage to love her for who she was.

"From the moment I met you, I've loved you. I first met you when Uncle Daniel visited my dad. He brought you along with him. Uncle Daniel knew my dad didn't like you so he asked me to play with you for a little bit. I don't think you even remember this even though you're slightly older than me by a few months.

You were beautiful with your flaming red hair and those big green eyes of yours. After I played with you, Uncle Daniel took you back. I even promised you that we'd play together again. But my dad scolded me and beat me for getting close to you. He said you were a monster. No matter how beautiful, you were a monster.

I never understood why he called you that. How could such a tiny thing like you be a monster? So, I threw that to the back of my head and just arrived at the conclusion that my dad just hated you for being human.

You know, to me, my dad was my hero. My dad was the strongest. Everything he said, I took to heart. You were human and just like my dad, I hated you too. I hated you for being human. I hated that you were beautiful beyond compare. I hated that I liked you." The father that I worshipped was not the man who I thought he was. The father who I thought was the man who I wanted to be turned out to be the real monster.

"During the party, I felt bored but eager to find my mate so I forced myself to interact with them. I admit, some part of me felt thrilled knowing that I could get any woman I wanted. Seeing them throw themselves at me, I thought that even if I didn't find my mate there were still women who would-" I blushed in shame. I couldn't continue what I was saying because I realized how egotistical I was.

"When I found out, you were my mate I was really happy, you know. So, so happy. But my mate turned out to be you- the you who my dad hated, the you who my pack hated, and the you who I forced myself to hate.

"And so, I rejected you. I hated you but more than that, I was too scared to leap over that non-existent boundary between supernaturals and humans. I was too scared to leave my comfort zone. I was too weak and scared to be on the receiving end of their judgemental stares. Even when everything in me called out to you, I was an asshole to you."

"DAMN IT ALL!!!" I growled.

"I should've damned them all just to be with you. But NO! I had to be stupid to let you go. I had to be blind not to see that I could've had the best woman in the world. I'm sorry. I know that you'll never forgive me for what I did to you all those years ago but I will try. I will do anything you ask as long as I can earn your forgiveness."

My breathing was harsh after I said everything that has been bottled up in me. But this time, I don't regret anything. I should've done this all those years ago. But I didn't because I was pig-headed and an idiot with his head so stuck up his ass to realize what I had until I lost it. Until I lost her.

I looked up, removing myself from the ground to look directly at Ana's eyes. They were cold and empty as if she really did become a doll. Emotionless. As I really looked at her after 5 years, I slowly began to realize just how much damage we, how much I did to her.

But even with the unsettling and tense atmosphere that surrounded the room, I felt at peace. It was the first time in my entire life that I felt peace and I'm glad I had the chance to apologize to her and to tell her my feelings.

It felt good to let everything out. Even if she will never forgive me, I'm glad that things turned out this way.