I'm Not A Bad Person|Eyeless Jack

8

E.J's pov

"Dear mom,

Fuck you.

I want freedom. I want to see dad but whenever I ask you tell me to fuck off! Am I just a trophy to you? You- actually no, my sister dusts me off, she polishes me, she makes me pretty for your little game.

I have been completely honest here in this journal. I've been raped by the men my mom brings home. I've been beaten by my mom and my sister.

I love my sister but she drinks too much. She drinks because of the pain. She then makes me feel her pain. I already feel enough pain. Pain I don't want. It hurts.

Imagine waking up everyday, put on loads of makeup, get bullied by other girls, and whenever you don't win you get beat by your mom. Or worse. Your mom lets you get raped.

Sometimes I just want to wake up, throw my hair up in a messy bun, have it be raining, listen to music and read a book. I just want a little freedom.

But in today's world freedom means practically nothing. Along with sympathy. But I can talk about that a different day.

Freedom today is when teenagers get to go out with their friends. They hang out, some are even in bands! Most kids paint, read, write, or play sports. I want to do all those things. But I can't because I'm a prisoner in my own home. I have a life sentence.

Sometimes I wish I didn't hesitate to kill myself. I wish I didn't hesitate to take those pills. I wish I was strong enough to run away and get help. I want and need help.."

I stop reading. I look at the page to see tear and blood stains. I hate seeing people I like hurt. It is very easy for me to hurt strangers, but if I were to ever hurt someone like y/n, I don't know what I would do with myself.

I stand up and walk into her room. I place the journal down and then around

"Why the hell are you in my room?" I see y/n in front of me ready to swing her bat .

"I thought you were back so I came here to see you." I shrug trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Why were you touching my journal?"

"I just saw it and wanted to see what it was. But I didn't do anything else. I saw your initials on it and didn't want to invade your privacy." You're saying too much Jack-

"You're talking too much.. I hate it." She scowls.

"Okay."

"Better." She pauses, "sit?" I nod and sit on her bed.

"Now tell me the truth; why were you here exactly?" She leans over placing her finger on the chin of my mask.

"I just wanted to ask how your first few days were, and I was wondering if I could ask you about a few personal things." I sigh.

Your POV

"Uhh sure. My first few days here are definitely something to get used to. I am excited to see what I can become though." I smile a little. Happiness. That's one weird feeling.

"And for the personal question, why were you crying last night?" He tilts his head while he talks. Like an innocent puppy, or like an animal begging for something. Food, or in this case answers.

I look down and hold back my tears. "Family reasons. I miss my dad so much. He died in a car accident 2-3 years ago. I try to forget it." Fucking suck it up, it's been too long to feel these things.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be so sympathetic with me. In all honesty he would be fine if he didn't come to see me. I asked him to come pick me up because my mom was drunk and had brought another man home. The people she brought home would hurt me in ways unimaginable." I let a tear fall but wipe it as soon as it threatens to drop to the floor below me.

"You don't need to say anything else." Ej pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. "I just want you to know you can tell me or Slender anything right."

"Right." I push him away.

"It's time to go to sleep." Ej guides me to my bed.

"I can't be alone right now..."

"Again?" Ej sighs.

"Y-you can leave-" I turn away.

"No! It's fine." Ej takes his shoes off and lays down next to me. Again I crave his touch. I lean into him and close my eyes. What is going on in my stupid little mind. Why can't I control myself! Agh