I Don't Need a Metaphor - COMPLETED

six

"Your apology needs to be as loud as your disrespect."

I'm a vindictive and rude person.

I hurt people who I trusted and who have done me wrong.

I don't waste my revenge on small, petty things. I'll just roll my eyes and keep minding my own business. I use my revenge only when I truly feel betrayed by someone I let in and gave my trust to.

I grew tired of being passive and allowing anyone and everyone walking over me. So, logically, I decided to weed out the ones who wanted to hurt me by using the ones who already did as an example.

Some say that vindictive people are looking for power, control, and overall respect. I don't know about the others, but I work for whatever power I want. I climb whatever ladder I have to. I get rid of the people who hurt me as a way to control my own life and my own pain.

I've grown tired of holding my tongue and biting back my words to make everyone else happy. Rose is no longer putting up with it. I'm done. If they had an obligation to do me right and went ahead and chose to do the opposite, I'm not going to let them stick around much longer.

If I don't want to lose them, if I care about them enough, I'll look past most things. It would take a lot for me to get rid of them from my life, though. And when that happens, everyone will know that person royally fucked up.

I still have some work to do, though. I'm still sitting around, biting back my words and thoughts just to let the other person take the win and to end the issue as soon as possible. It only leaves me feeling like I had wasted my breath and still have an unresolved issue. In the end, I'm worse off than before any words came out my mouth in the first place.

It leaves me angry with myself and just hurt. I'm tired of not speaking up and taking a stand, but, sometimes, when I take a stand, everyone thinks I'm in the wrong. I started taking a stand with the ones I love and have always had a soft heart for. Now, they think I'm out to get them. Some of them understand I'm trying to do what's best for our relationship. Some of them don't.

I'm always the bad guy, at this point. I keep trying to stand for myself against the people who hurt me or wrong me or take me for granted. I keep trying to stand for my loved ones in those same situations. Maybe I'm too aggressive, but I try not to be. I try to have just the right amount of aggression to not overdo it but just enough to where everyone knows that I'm being serious and that I'm not the one to fuck with.

I try not to hold my tongue in order to not end up bottling everything up until I explode. I could just let it go and move on, but I don't know how to do that. My whole entire being just won't allow me to do something like that. I never forgive, and I never forget. I can't move on from the pain others have caused me. I can't let people think I'm weak and easy to manipulate. I can't let people keep walking all over me. But I still let them.

So many people take my kindness for granted. Believe it or not, I'm a nice person. I'll put other people first in every sense without regard for myself. Sometimes, they don't even have to be that close to me. That's one of my many flaws. I give out my kindness to people who don't show any signs of danger from the get-go and, then, they take it all for granted and use me. It's happened so many times.

I'm not a damn doormat to be stepped on anymore. I'm a girl with strong loyalties and even stronger defences against anyone who makes an attack on either me or the ones I love.

Some may say I'm vindictive. I say I'm incredibly protective.