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The Last Breath

Benjamin

I'm so scared the minute the doctor told me that they're going to deliver the baby now. The baby is too young and I'm not ready to be a father, yet. 

"I'm going to get some coffee," Alex says. "Would you like one ?"

"Black with less sugar, please," I say as I rub my eyes with my finger, thinking that I need an extra amount of caffeine tonight.

The doctor told me to wait outside, even if he lets me, I don't know if I have the strength to watch her fighting for both lives. I'm not a very religious person and I barely pray. But tonight, I don't know what got into me, I put my hands together and start praying for her. I know to deliver a baby is not easy, especially when you have to go through an operation. 

Suddenly, a touch of a hand makes me lift my head up and I find a girl with curly hair standing in front of me. It's April.

"How is she ?" She asks, taking a seat next to me.

"They need to deliver the baby now," I answer. "How do you know?"

"Alex called me." 

"Thanks for coming," I look at her. 

"She's going to be okay, Benjamin," April comforts me. "She's going to be okay."

30 minutes feel like forever in this hospital waiting room. Alex is already back with two venti cups of coffee. As he hands me my requested drink, I wrap my fingers around it, enjoying the heat that spreads through my hands then slowly sip the hot liquid and it creeps over my taste-buds, down to my throat. The bitterness of the coffee wakes me up and it keeps waking me up as I take a bigger sip.

"I already called her parents," April informs. "They'll be here soon."

I know she doesn't get along pretty well with their parents after she told them that she was pregnant but I believe they won't let her get through this alone. 

"Thanks, April," I say, placing the cup of my coffee on the table.

"Anytime," April sits next to me again, laying her head on my shoulder and put her arm on my back. She gives me a light hug, trying to make me feel better and it does.

Suddenly, the operation door opens. I expect the doctor comes out and gives me good news but instead, people are rushing. There's a few nurses and doctors coming running inside the operation room. I stand up from my seat and walk closer to find out. 

"Hey, excuse me," I say, trying to get one of their attention. "What's happening inside?"

"She passes out, sir," one of the nurse answers. "You need to back up now."

"What!" I insist on going inside but Alex is already there, holding me still on my place.

"She'll be okay," Alex says softly. I turn around and push him in anger. I'm tired of people telling me she's going to be okay when the fact is she's not.

"Stop telling me she'll be okay, Alex. She's in pain and now she's passing out." I can feel my voice is getting shakier from the tears that I try to hold.

When you think something can't get any worse, it can. Adam is here, walking shamelessly towards us. Without further thinking, I attack him until he falls and punch him in the face. Adam is not fighting me back, so I keep pounding my hand on his face. I could hear someone is screaming until Alex separates us.

"Stop it, Benjamin!" Alex lifts me up and pins me on the wall. "You're only making this worse."

I still can't take my eyes off of Adam. He's on the floor with his nose bleeding. 

"How dare you come here! Where have you been all this time?" I scream, trying to grab Adam by his neck, but Alex holds me down. 

"I'm so sorry," Adam stutters, trying to stand up. "I didn't mean to leave her like this."

"Sorry ?" I repeat. "That's the only word that you can say? Sorry ?"

I try to push Alex aside but he's just too strong. 

"Enough!" April screams at us. "Charlie is fighting for both lives inside and you two morons are so ungrateful to fight for something else!"

April is right. Charlie is trying her best to deliver the baby that might cost her her life. 

"Now I want you two sit down before I call the security to get you out of fucking here."

I don't know why but I listen to her. I jerk my body off Alex and walk back to my seat, trying not to do anything stupid for the rest of the night.

The air around is really thick from the fight and no one is brave enough to break the silence. 

Suddenly, the operation door opens again. This time, no one rushes in or out. There's only one doctor comes out towards us.

"The family of Charlotte Swansea?" The doctor asks. Me, Alex, April, and Adam stand up. 

"It's here," a sudden voice of a woman is heard. "I'm her mother."

"Mrs Swansea," I turn around to find Charlie's mom standing on the hallway with Mr Swansea and her little brother, Ted.

Mrs Swansea comes closer to me and holds my arm for a split second. "How is she, doctor?"

The doctor takes a deep breath. "The baby is saved."

The air suddenly lights up. Everyone seems to be happy with the news.

"But," the doctor continues and the light that comes on their faces immediately gone. "We lost her."

That's it. Those three words break me down on my knees. Charlie is gone. She's not making it. I can feel my world is crumbling into a big hole and I'm falling into it. I can't hold the tears any longer. When the words would not come, the tears do. I bite my bottom lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wants to escape from my mouth. I can pull myself to standing, I always can, yet tears come in such generous streams as I long for a hand to reach down.

In that moment of loss my world collapses - the light now becomes shadows, the pain coming and going like waves on frigid sand. What I once treasured is now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. It's a strange thing to lose something which you once had, especially for a short period of time, like a limb torn from your body without the chance to save it. The door that was once open and welcoming was locked and disinviting. She's gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it.