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Epilogue

Five Years Later

Benjamin

Charlie's baby was a boy. A beautiful, healthy baby boy. We named him Peter. After a long custody trial at the court, we decided to give Peter to Charlie's parents in Chobham. It's the best choice. At first, they thought it would be better for him to stay with his biological father, Adam, but Adam was not ready mentally and financially as a father. 

Today is Peter 5th Birthday and my mind flies away to the time when I first saw the little baby Peter. From the incubator glass, I fitted my hand through the hole to hold the tiny baby. His tiny fingers curled around my pinky. He's smaller than a bag of sugar from the grocers. His tiny toes peek from his blanket, trying to find freedom. I couldn't believe how tiny new humans are, how vulnerable, how awe-inspiring. I knew I couldn't pick him up, but I really loved to. He's such a doll. Then he began to fret and cry, everyone told me how annoying that's going to be, but it's so cute I almost cry. This was a new person, and I'm already filling up with love for him.

It is the perfect birthday in every sense, and in all the ways only the universe can give. The decoration is always different every year. This year, they go for a snowy winter day. With a snowman cake in rich velvety layers, topped with cream cheese frosting and coconut flakes. His nose is a brilliant orange "carrot" of fondant icing and his eyes are Belgian chocolate. It is the perfect winter cake to make for Peter.

"Uncle Benjie!" Peter screams as I enter the front door. He runs towards me and jumps, asking for a big hug. 

"Happy birthday, little man," I say, rubbing his back gently and kiss his head. 

"Where's Melody?" Peter asks.

"She's still in the car with Alex and April," I answer. "Hey, Mrs Swan."

"Benjamin," Mrs Swansea gives me a light hug. "Where're the others ?"

"They'll be here in a second."

"Come," she signs me to follow her. "The party for adults is back here."

In the backyard, Ted and Mr Swansea are there, grilling some patties and sausages. 

"Hey Benjamin," Ted greets me and he hands me a bottle of beer. 

"Thank you," I take the bottle from his hand and greet Mr Swansea. "What a great party, Mr Swan." 

"I told you to call me Nick," Mr Swansea says.

"Sorry, Nick," I apologise. "I'm not used to it."

"Hey, everyone," April chimes in with Alex and Melody, joining us in the backyard and yes, she is pregnant, with my brother.

"Oh, look at here," Mrs Swansea greets them back. "Peter is going to have a little sister soon and you're a grown-up girl now, Melody."

And they all laugh. I can feel my mind drifts away again. Imagining if Charlie's still here, with us, celebrating her son's fifth birthday. I know she must be watching us from up there, smiling. 

For my whole life, I'm still trying to find the meaning of happiness. Happiness is actually in everything; I dare you to invite it in. It is in the rain, cool and fresh, just as deeply as the sunshine, for they bring forth different emotions. Happiness is enjoying the moment, being present for that gift that is living, and allowing it to become intense.

For me, this is my happiness. To gather around with people that I love, enjoying a good meal and making perfect memories. There might be endless grief among us, but with that also comes a wonderful new life that brings new people together.  In grief we can learn to cherish the gift of life each day. 

Charlie is happy up there because we are and even though we're not in the same dimension, I still feel her around and for the rest of my life, I'm going to love her. Always will, always have.

The End

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED THIS STORY YOU GUYS!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS AND I'M STILL OPEN TO CRITICS AND SUGGESTIONS.

YOU'VE BEEN WONDERFUL AND I LOVE YOU GUYSSS!!!!