The Fighter's Club #Wattys2015Winner

Chapter 25 ◇◇ His Promises Were Made to be Broken (Unedited)

Chapter 25-  His promises were made to be broken

"Never let my actions or nonchalance mislead you, I may fuck with you out of loyalty but I'll never need you."

Dev's POV

Three Years Ago

I remember when my mother used to tell me "Devyn never let any man or boy make you feel anything less than the angel you are. Your wings are your power sweetheart, never let anyone take that away"

The vivid memories of my life seemed to play back over and over, each cycle more painful than next as I lie in my misery. Those dark clouds of dreadful depression finally closing in on me after following me for sixteen years and well the fighter in me quit trying.. there's no more room, courage, or reason to fight.

The pain is inevitable , why fight it??

So I've finally given in and accepted that maybe my life is just supposed to be this way, no one can save me and maybe there is nothing to be saved from, maybe I'm the problem.

I'm the problem and the deep ache in my chest throbbing constantly, the new jagged feeling of the blood pumping through my veins, the dreadful fatigue and inability to feel anything other than pain is my karma, my consequence.

I deserve this all of this, it's my fault.

"Devyn never let any man or boy make you feel anything less than the angel you are. Your wings are your power sweetheart, never let anyone take that away." The statement constantly rings in mind making me sick, nearly making my skin crawl from the never ending abundance of grit I feel inside.

I've scrubbed, scrubbed and scrubbed away stripping my skin nearly bare and I still feel dirty like I've been tarnished behind repair.

And I know have... I was there when it happened not much of a fighter as I couldn't even save myself.

"Sweetheart" his voice calls and my fixed stare remains unfocused as the tears continued to cloud my vision but these days I find that's exactly how I like.. cause when the world's unfocused I never see the whole picture. I never get the right view and I like it that way cause I can pretend nothing never happened.

He didn't clip away my wings and I didn't let him, it all never happened...

"You good, baby?" he doesn't take long before his presence becomes overbearing as he moves closer to me yet I didn't attempt to move away

His frustrations of me pushing him away still ring loudly in my ears if I think too hard.. the aggressiveness of his tone, the vibrations from his bass as the words barked out and his grasp began to get tighter around my waist.. tight enough to leave  his hand prints marked around my torso and to make me feel as though  I was suffocating

That's what happened the first day after.. he did, we did the unthinkable.  I refused his company, his presence. My brewing bitterness and seed of regretfulness all rolled out of me as I awoke his arms still tightly wrapped around me, eyes nearly closed shut from the abundance of tears I shred before my cries silenced their self with sleep but silent was everything I wasn't.

I was angry, hurt, pissed off and most of all in agony from his betrayal so there were screams and curses.. lots of b*tches, stupid mothafuckas, cowards etc, as many gut punches, kicks to his balls, claws to his eyes and face that I could get in before he easily overpowered me with his strength and weight.