EZH #4: Caspian Hernandez [COMPLETED]

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

WARNING: ANXIETY ATTACK. CAUSE OF ANXIETY. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY INFLUENCED BY OTHER PEOPLE'S FEARS.

SERYOSO AKO 'WAG MAKULIT. YOU CAN GET ANXIETY FROM THIS CHAPTER.

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"Kahit hindi mo ako kaibigan, tutulungan kita."

I grumpily shook my head from left to right for the nth time today. I couldn't keep what Caspian said off of my mind. Kagabi pa 'yun and it was almost night again and I could still hear his voice in my head, the promising look in his eyes and the feeling of his warm hands wrapped over mine.

Iba talaga iyong pinaramdam sa akin ni Caspian kagabi. I felt... safe. It felt as if he could battle all my demons for me.

To say I wasn't temped to accept his offer was a huge, fat lie. Sa intensity ng tingin niya? It became so so hard for me to resist.

I almost bare my soul to him. I almost let my self pull him down my personal hellhole just so he could lift me out of it.

Buti na lang talaga at nakapag isip pa ako nang matino bago ko iyon nagawa. Kasi... hindi ko 'yun pwedeng gawin sa kanya. Yes, he was nice and I was not. But I was not evil enough that I would scar him for life. Ayokong pati siya idamay sa kung ano mang gulo meron sa isip ko. Kasi kahit gaano pa siya nakaka inis in general, hindi niya deserve na ma-experience ang matakot katulad ko.

I don't want to pass a burden to him. That burden being me. Ayokong maramadaman niya na responsibilidad niya na tulungan ako.

Kasi hindi naman.

I nervously glanced up my digital wall clock. It read 6:45. Napatingin ako sa sarili ko, biting my lower lip in the process.

I sighed. Ni hindi pa ako nakakaligo.

Kasi naman! What Caspian said was really, really frustrating! Iyong kahit kumakain ako, iyon pa rin ang naiisip ko!

How dare he mess up my mind like this!

After releasing a very frustrated huff, I decided that I would not go to work today. I don't think kaya kong makita ang mukha ni Caspian without me poking his eyes out for real this time.

Timatamad na tumayo na lang ako. I stretched a little before sparing my computer screen one last glance. I shrugged then went out my own geek lab.

Sa kitchen ako dumiretso para maghanap ng food. Lucky for me, Demi was here most of the time kaya may stock na ako ng pagkain. Timothy had my pantry refiled kasi alam niya rin na dito talaga tumatambay si Demi madalas. Timothy had been looking out for Demi in a lot of ways na hindi alam ng best friend ko. She had zero idea na ipinapuno talaga ni Timothy ng pagkain ang ref at pantry ko para hindi magutom ang fiancée niya dito sa unit ko.

After fixing myself a bowl of cereal, because seriously I couldn't cook to save my life, I decided to shower and just be a bum again. Na missed ko rin iyong pakiramdam na wala akong ginagawa.

Halos isang oras akong tumayo sa ilaim ng shower. Wala rin naman kasi akong nakaplanong gagawin kaya hindi rin talaga ako nagmadali. It was almost eight when I was finally done with my shower. Halos ubusin ko na nga ang milk salt skin moisturizer ko. I was not guilty about it, though. My skin deserved all the pampering.