Amnesia ~reddie~

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trigger warning: self harm

"EDDIE!!"

Stanley let go of Bills hand and rushed toward Eddie, enveloping him in a huge hug.

"Eddie, I was so worried, I thought you were dead." Stan cried into his shoulder.

Eddie hugged him back, feeling tears prick at his own eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't call you."

Bill rushed over and joined the hug, his eyes wet too. "Oh my god, Eddie, thank god you're alive."

After a couple minutes the boys sat down by the edge of the quarry, catching up on everything that happened.

"Wait, what happened before Richie found you? How did you get in the woods?" Stanley interrupted.

Eddie glanced down, knowing he wouldn't be able to answer the question. He readied himself for the looks of anger and disappointment. "I don't remember."

Stanley's eyes filled with concern and he wrapped an arm around Eddies neck. "It's okay, we'll get your memories back somehow."

Eddie smiled in relief. They weren't mad after all. Maybe there was more than one nice human out there.

"If y-you didn't r-r-remember anything before Richie," Bill interjected, sounding confused. "Then h-how did you r-r-remember that you p-promised to call?"

"Ever since I met Richie, the memories started coming back." Eddie said, fidgeting with his fingers. "When I was in the woods all alone, I felt as though my memories were being pushed farther and farther away. I sat by that tree for hours, too scared to move and too scared to look around me. I didn't even remember my name until I saw Richie. I don't know why. And then when Bowers was attacking us, I felt this immense rage and this feeling that I needed to protect Richie. I threw Patrick into a tree. He is so much bigger than me and yet I was able to just chuck him up there? It didn't make any sense. Luckily Richie didn't question me because I don't know what I would've said. Am I a monster, Stan? I have an ability right? I remember you saying that in one of my memories."

Stanley gazed at his friend sadly. "You're not a monster, Eddie. I remember the first time you discovered your ability when you were eight and you came running to my house in fear. 'Stanley!' You cried, 'I-I did something bad.' I remember being really worried and taking you to my room. You were crying and I didn't understand why until you told me. Do you know what you said, Eddie?"

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut as the memory came to him.

"Stanley! I-I did something bad."

Stanley led the eight year old Eddie up to his room and tried his best to stop his weeping. "What's wrong, Eddie? What did you do?"

Eddie held his arm up and Stan's eyes widened as he saw the large cut on it. "I needed to get away."

Stanley looked at his friend in horror. For being eight years old, he knew the signs of suicide because of the many lessons they were taught in class. "Eddie, are you okay?"

The small boy shook his head. "I had a dream. I had a dream that It was chasing me. I had a broken arm and I couldn't get away. There was a knife next to me. I tried to hurt It but the knife didn't even go through the clown. So I cut myself to make sure the knife was actually there and then I woke up. And I still had the cut on my arm."

Stanley got a medical kit out of his bathroom and carefully patched the kid up. "That's the third dream this week, Eddie, are you sure you can't tell your mom?"

He shook his head frantically. "She'll just give me more pills."

Stanley gave the small boy a hug, worried for his health. Eddie had two scars on his arm and one fresh cut. He explained to Stan that cutting himself was the only way to wake up. It was the only way to escape.

Eddie opened his eyes. "I cut myself."

"W-what?"

Stanley nodded sadly. "You kept having those dreams. One day you asked me if I could buy you foundation because you weren't sure if you could keep hiding the scars from your mom."

Eddie rolled the sleeves up on his shirt to see a bunch of faded scars. "They weren't there before."

"Maybe you just didn't notice them."

"B-but what is h-h-his ability then? T-to dream?" Bill asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"They weren't just dreams, Bill. Eddie saw the future."

It was Eddies turn to be confused. "But the dream I had. About It chasing me. Did it happen already?"

Stanley shook his head. "Some of your dreams are when we're older. You used to tell me all of your dreams but one night you came to my house in tears and no matter what I did, you refused to tell me what you saw. The only thing you'd tell me is that you saw us as adults. From then on, you never told me your dreams."

Eddie glanced at the water. "Tell me the dreams that I shared with you."

"Alright," Stan said softly. "You once had a dream about Bowers getting us after school after we took a shortcut. We never took that route home again. You had a dream about meeting a raven haired boy in the woods which I assume was Richie. That night you came home with no cuts on your arm. You told me it was because you didn't want to leave that dream. You also had a dream about me going to summer camp and sure enough that happened."

Eddie looked up at his friend. "Were there any others?"

Stan's smile faltered and sadness filled his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but then thought better of it and just shook his head.

"Stanley?"

He shook his head. "There's no more."

"If my ability is to see the future, then why was I able to throw Patrick when he was twice my body size?" Eddie asked.

"I think it has something to do with your dreams. I think that every dream you have, every scar you give yourself, you become stronger. Physically and emotionally."

Eddie sighed. "That's a lot of scars to hide."

Stan laughed bitterly. "You refused to wear short sleeved shirts until I bought you foundation."

"How long have you two known each other?" Bill asked, his face full of confusion and awe.

"Long time." Stan laughed.

"Hey, Stan?" Eddie asked, nervousness filling his heart.

"Yeah?"

"Could I...maybe stay at your house tonight? I don't really have anywhere to go and I don't want to sleep outside again. I'm sorry if it's an inconven-" He stopped as Stan cut him off.

"Of course you can, Eddie. What kind of a best friend would I be if I said no?" He stood up, taking both Bill's and Eddie's hands as he walked down the street.

When they arrived at Bill's house he gave Eddie a quick hug before disappearing inside. Then Stan led Eddie to his house and made sure to give the small boy a bunch of food before they went to bed.

As they settled in, with Eddie in the bed and Stan on the floor in a sleeping bag, Eddie felt nerves begin to take over. "Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Will I have dreams tonight?"

"Did you have any last night?" Stanley asked, staring up at the dark ceiling, listening to his friends voice.

"I don't know, I didn't sleep."

"You might have dreams, then."

There was a brief silence.

eddie finally spoke up, his voice slightly shaking. "Will I have to hurt myself?"

"Let's hope not."

"Good night, Stanley."

"Night, Eddie."

After a few minutes, Stan spoke up again.

"I'll be right here if you need me."

But Eddie had already fallen asleep.