No bargain with death (MCU x reader)

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You sat out there in the garden, not moving, like a statue. Your expression probably resembled the one of a statue too. Empty in a way, free of emotions. Not because of a lack of emotions but because of the overhelmingly big amount of feelings flooding you. And because of the memory that was kreeping up on you.

~

"Please, I beg you! Take my life! I don't want it anymore!"

A young man was kneeling in front of you, his grey eyes fixed on you, displaying pain and emitting tears. His blond hair was chaos, it reached down to his shoulders and apparently hadn't seen a brush in ages. He was shaking. His body was unbelievably thin. It was shocking to see him. Everything about him radiated an air of sickness but not a physical one. He was desperate and every single shaking breath he took put those feelings on display.

And he wanted you to take his life. He wanted to die. He was desperate enough to throw away the only thing a human always had everywhere they went.

He wanted to leave behind the known and dive into the unkown.

Of course, there were parts to life that couldn't be understood by anyone. But death was nothing short of a black, unknown mess.

This was different from what had happened to you before, this was the first suicidal person to ask you to end their suffering. And you were thoroughly overwhelmed. This man was asking too much of you and he made you feel horrible about yourself. He uncovered a side of you that you didn't want to see uncovered.

You were a servant of death. A tool of the neverending abiss that came after life.

This man directly connected you with death and saw you as a way to get his life taken away. He had turned up on your doorstep and found it appropriate to ask you to kill him.

You didn't want no part in this.

You had to tell him.

Try to stay calm. Deep breaths. Everything is fine. Calm voice.

"No!" , you cried, taking a step back, trying to ignore the agony in the young man's eyes.

That much for the calm voice.

This was too much. This whole situation was too much. You shouldn't be in it, it shouldn't even be possible. You shouldn't have to have the power you had. You shouldn't be forced to make this decision.

You could feel your breath quicken and your stomach rumble. You felt nauseous and uneasy, unable to act. Speaking was beyond you and everything inside of you yelled at you to turn around and run from this life. This life you didn't want.

This young man didn't want his life either though.

This didn't make it right for him to come to you though. There were other ways. Not that you supported the idea of suicide. No one should feel bad enough to consider it but when they did they had the right to do it.

"You ... I ... No!" , you stuttered panicky. The young man who was still kneeling in front of you, reached out a desperate hand, trying to get a grip on you. You stumbled further backwards in horror.