Running from You

12

"I don't even know how to speak French".
Lucas sighs miserably, and shakes his head.
"I'm going to be lonely and friendless for the rest of my life".
"I thought you were just going for a year?" Landon asks.
"Yeah, but when I'm gone you and Dean will become best friends and ditch me".
"Is that really how highly you think of me?" I ask, looking up from Lucas's homework.
"Okay, no. But still. I won't have a single friend in France".
"Didn't your parents say they were sending you to some English school in Paris?" I ask.
"Yeah, but I'll just be the weird American kid. French people can be really judgemental".
"And what are you basing that off?"
"What they say in movies" he says, and he gets up from the bleachers, walking around nervously.
"Owen said Paris is a really nice city" Landon says. "Lots of..."
"If you say something about ice cream I will scream" Lucas says.
Landon closes his mouth, looking offended.

"Heya guys!"
Jay walks over to us, smiling widely as she does so. She shoots Lucas a dashing smile, her sparkly white teeth contrasting her slightly tanned skin.
"What are you talking about?"
"My life is over!" Lucas says dramatically. Well, I guess he's really warming up to interacting with Jay then. That makes me feel happy. I just assume it's pride. I'm very proud of him.
"Oh dear" she says. "What's happening?"
"Lucas is moving to Paris" Landon explains. Lucas, who has sat down next to me again, rest his head in his hands.
"I'll be friendless and lonely and I'll have no idea where I'm going to be" he says. I pat him on his back. He looks up at me, and smiles. I smile back at him. I've been getting better at hiding my sadness about the fact he's leaving from him. If I allow myself to be sad, he'll be even worse.

"Aw, Lucas, you're a great guy. I'm sure you'll find friends".
Lucas smiles at her too, which makes me feel a little invalidated. That's weird. Stop that Dean. I'm not jealous of Jay.
"How can you be so sure of that?" she asks, and she sits down at his other side.
"Because you're amazing".
He blushes a little bit.
"Still a lesbian" I whisper in his ear.
"Shut up" he mutters.
"And besides, you have great friends now. You'll find new ones easily" she continues, apparently not aware of our conversation.
He scoffs.
"Like I'm going to just find someone like Dean" he says. I suddenly feel a warm tingling in my cheeks I haven't really felt before. It feels vaguely familiar, but I can't recall what it's supposed to be.
"What do you mean?" Landon asks. "There's lots of grumpy guys in France".
"Wow, thanks" I sarcastically say.

"No, you know what I mean" Lucas says.
"There isn't anyone in France who knows me the way Dean does".
The tingling gets worse. Am I blushing? Dear lord I better not be blushing.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Jay asks, a smirk on her face as she locks eyes with me. I quickly look away. Something about her dark eyes is making me feel weird. Like she knows something. There isn't even anything she could know about me.
"Well, he just... Knows everything. He knows about my parents, he knows about my entire family history, he knows about all my allergies..."
"You have allergies?" Landon asks.
"Brown rice and cooked tomato" I say, not missing a beat. "And if he eats to much sugar he goes insane".
"See? He knows me better than my own father does" he says. "And we could still video chat, but it just... It won't be the same. I don't know why".

All four of us are silent. I sit still, desperate that the cold air around us makes the warm feeling in my face go away. It doesn't.
"I'll miss you" Landon says.
"I'll miss you too Landon" Lucas says, smiling. He gets up, and gives Landon a hug. I stare at them, before I notice Jay staring at me. I look up at her, and she has that smirk on her face again.
"What's up?" I whisper, as Lucas and Landon have started talking about puppies.
"Nothing" she says, with a sly smile.
"Okay" I say, frowning. "It's just..."
"You're going to miss him, aren't you?" she interrupts me.
"I..."
I quickly glance at Lucas, who animatedly flails his arms around to accentuate what he's talking about.
"I... Uh... Well, obviously" I say. I look back at her.

"Yeah" she says, and she chuckles. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
I squint my eyes.
"What?"
She answers by smiling expectantly.
"Uh, yeah. When I was twelve" I answer.
"Did you like her?" she asks.
"Yeah, I really did. Why?"
She stares at the sky for a minute.
"Okay" she says. "Interesting. Who was it?"
"Her name was Carly" I say. "Carly Jones".
"Oh, I had such a crush on her!" she says, and she laughs again. "She was so cute. What happened?"
I stare at Lucas and Landon again, who have now changed the subject to light bulbs.
"She was really mean to Lucas" I recall. "So he kinda stopped hanging out with me. Just wasn't worth it".
"Aww, that's cute" she says.
"Cute?" I ask.
"Yeah, adorable".

She gets up.
"I'm going to say hi to Alex. See you around!" she says.
"Wait..." I stutter. What was that about?
"Bye bye!" Landon says, waving excitedly.
"Bye Jay" Lucas says, bouncing up and down on his feet.
"Bye Lucas, it's been nice to be able to finally talk to you properly" she grins. He smiles, a little embarrassed.
"Yeah... It's cool" he says. "You're cool".
"Still a lesbian" I remind him. He rolls his eyes at me.
"Bye Dean" she says. "Good talk".
I bite my lip, frowning at her. She winks, before turning around and walking away, confidence radiating from her relaxed posture.
"Dean, you're staring" Landon says.
"Still a lesbian" Lucas teases me.
"I hate you" I inform him.
"I love you too".

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