Running from You

24

"And that's why the world record is only 16.38 seconds!"
I nod, pretending I'm very interested in what he's saying. He's rambling again, something he often does when he's nervous. I glance at my alarm clock, and see it's already 8 pm. His mom can call him any moment now, and I see the way he keeps looking at his phone.

"There's a YouTube video on it, I've watched it five times already" he continues, turning circles in my desk chair. I'm laying on my bed, on my stomach, doing my homework. It's a lot less, now that I don't have to do Lucas's.
"Five times?" I ask, looking up. He nods excitedly, and fiddles with a pencil on my desk. He hums a song, but it doesn't bother me. I'm used to him talking to me so much that I can tune it out whenever I want to.

"Hey Dean" he says. "I need to ask you something".
I put my pencil down, and lean on my elbow, gesturing him to ask. He plays with the neckline of his hoodie, and turns a little red. His eyes are skimming my room, taking in every detail.
"Why did you break up with Carly?" he asks. I raise an eyebrow, and sit up, moving to the edge of my bed.
"Did you talk to Jay?" I ask. He nods, turning even more red. I make a mental note to remember that I have to yell at her.
"What did you talk about?" I ask. He's still looking at everything except me.
"Just... Stuff. Anyway, she told me to ask you about it. She wouldn't tell me herself".
I roll my eyes, and shake my head.
"It's not that big a deal" I say. "I just didn't like how mean she was being to you. Besides, she didn't seem to really like me".
"Of course she liked you" he says, now finally looking at me. "You're not hard to like, you know?"
I stare at him, trying to figure out if he means anything by that. I wouldn't put it past him to say that without realising how that would sound.

"Thanks" I say. "But she didn't even care when I broke up with her. I mean, she was sad, but she was over it in a week".
"You were too" he points out.
"Yeah. Because we were twelve. I liked her a lot, but I always knew it wouldn't last long".
He nods, looking at the floor again.
"I didn't like her" he admits.
"I know you didn't, that's why I broke up with her" I remind him. A smile forms on his face, though I can see he's trying to hold it back. He looks back up at me, and takes a deep breath. I love his eyes. They're so dark, but so bright at the same time. Dark green with a bright light inside them.

Suddenly, I hear the Thomas the Tank Engine theme, and Lucas almost falls off my chair in his hurry to grab his phone. I watch him as he picks up his voice.
"Hello this is Lucas Farell" he says. He's quiet for a moment, and takes a deep breath.
"Hi mom" he says. "Yeah, I'm alright. I'm at Dean's house".
He walks towards the hallway. Right before he closes my bedroom door, I send him an encouraging smile. He smiles back, a miserable smile, and closes the door.
As I hear them talking, I try to figure out how the conversation is going by the sound of his voice. He sounds hesitant at first, and then he's quiet for a while. I await the end of the phone call in suspense, hoping they'll come to a solution that makes Lucas happy.

He starts talking again, and I can't quite make out the tone of his voice. The phone call lasts for a while, and I just start making more homework to pass the time. Finally, after half an hour, he walks back into my room. I look up, instantly throwing my pencil down. His expression is hard to read.
"So, my mom called" he says. I nod, waiting for him to continue.
"She said that her and my father feel awful about the fight, and my dad really didn't mean to hit me with the spoon. He talked to me too for a while, he sounded very uncomfortable".
I nod again. Apologizing doesn't sound like an activity Mr Farell does often.
"So, my mom finally seemed to understand I genuinely don't want to move to Paris" he continues, sitting down next to me on the edge of my bed. "But she doesn't feel comfortable about having me live here with you".
I feel my stomach drop as he says that. He stares at the floor, fiddling with his hoodie strings.
"She also said that my dad is mad about the wasted airplane ticket. They've already spent a lot of money on the house, and the flight, and the train ride, so he doesn't want to buy me another plane ticket and another train ticket. I don't know, I'm..."

He pulls up his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He smiles at me when he notices my worried expression.
"I'm not having a panic attack" he says.
"Okay" I say, but I can't help but watch his breathing. He rests his cheek on one of his knees, and sighs.
"I don't want to go to Paris, but I still want my parents to want me" he says quietly.
"I'm sure they will" I say, looking at him. "They love you. They might have trouble expressing it sometimes, but they do".
He smiles at me, though the smile doesn't reach his eyes completely.
"Thanks" he says. He takes his heels off the edge of the bed, and puts them back down on the floor. "I don't even know where I could stay if I would stay here. Maybe my aunt Rita".
I purse my lips in disgust.
"If you're going to live with that demon child I'll never visit you again" I promise. He laughs, and looks at me.
"So you'd visit me more often if I lived on the other side of the world?" he asks.
"Yes" I say, keeping a dead serious face as I look at him. He laughs again, his eyes sparkling. I smile, looking at his face. I love his laugh. I love it when he's happy. I love him.

He stops laughing, and breathes out slowly.
"I'm still scared" he says, his smile fading. "What if I get there, and my dad is still annoyed with me, and he doesn't talk to me anymore even though I make him coffee in the morning..."
He sighs.
"Sorry, I'm bumming you out" he says, shaking his head, as though trying to shake his thoughts out of his head.
"It's okay" I assure him. "It'll make you feel better to talk about it".
He tilts his head a little, and plays with his hoodie strings.
"Did you feel better?" he asks. "After telling me about..."
I nod.
"Definitely" I say. "So, talk. I'll listen".
I look at him expectantly. He looks back at me, with that same look he had last night, or this morning technically. I feel my heart leap as I realise Jay was right. He always looked like that when she came close to us. However, there's something different this time. It's lacking that sense of being unreachable. That hint of sorrow that was always there has now switched to confusion.

"Can I talk about something else?" he asks.
"Yea, sure, whatever you want" I say, trying to keep my voice composed. He continues messing with his neckline, while looking at me in the eyes. I frown.
"Lucas, are you okay?" I ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looks at my hand for a second, then at my eyes, and then his eyes glide down. I'm about to say something else, when he leans towards me and presses his lips onto mine.

And I freeze.

That's not because it isn't a good feeling. His lips are really soft, which surprises me because he bites them a lot, and he gently rests his hand on my cheek. I close my eyes, trying to get myself out of this frozen state, but he pulls back already. I look at him with wide eyes, scanning his face as the situation slowly dawns on me.
He just kissed me.
My best friend, who I'm madly in love with, just kissed me.

And I, being the dumbass that I am, didn't even kiss him back.

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