Running from You

29

"We could still run away and never return".
I look at Lucas, who looks very excited about his suggestion.
"I don't think that would be smart" I say, and I hand him his bag. "Are you sure there's no spoons in it this time?"
"Absolutely sure" he says.
"Good".

I look at the people surrounding us, and then at the many desks with informants sitting behind it. We're at the airport. There's no train ride this time, Lucas just goes straight to Paris from our nearest airport. My mom took us there by car, and she's talking to one of the informants now. Lucas's travel companion should arrive soon, but he's not here yet. I'm starting to think this is the last private moment we might have. Well, as private as it can be when there's an enormous crowd of people around you.

"I'm really scared I'll get lost" Lucas sighs, and he eyes the people around him nervously.
"If you get a panic attack now, I'm going to force you to stay" I tell him.
"Oh! Great idea!"
He starts breathing really quickly, so I smack his arm.
"Stop that" I say.
"Okay" he whines, and he stabalises his breathing again. "I'm so nervous. I've never been on a plane before".
"Me neither" I say. "But I'm sure it'll be fine. You'll have someone with you, and your parents are going to pick you up at the airport. It'll be very difficult to get lost".
"I think I could still pull it off" Lucas says.
I chuckle.
"You know what, I think you're right".

We look at each other for a moment, and I suddenly feel a strange kind of pressure on my stomach. It makes it hard to breathe normally for a moment, the ache spreading throughout my entire torso until I have to tense up my leg muscles in order to keep standing and not just collapse onto one of the plastic chairs.

"Don't go".
I say it before I even realise it, and I instantly regret it.
"Forget that. You have to go. I just wish you didn't" I clarify.
Lucas bites his bottom lip, and I can see that his eyes are avoiding mine.
"I know right" he says quietly, and he starts fiddling with the bottom of his hoodie. Slowly, he leans forward, until his head drops against my shoulder. I sigh, and put my arms around him. I rest my head against his, pulling him as close against me as I can. For a moment, I forget all the people around us, and I run a hand through his incredibly soft hair. He's stopped wearing hair gel for the few days he was still here, because he knows I really like it that way. Plus it makes it easier to play with it, which he really likes.

"I know we're in public but I really want to ki-"
He interrupts me by taking his head off my shoulder and kissing me, putting his hands on my face and pulling himself even closer against me. I breathe in sharply, taken aback by this very public display of affection, but then I go along with it. I kiss him like it's the last time I get to, because there's a possibility that's the truth. When he pulls out of the kiss, I rest my forehead against his, and let out a very long, very shaky breath.

"I love you" I say. "I love you so much".
His smile is bittersweet, and there are tears in his eyes.
"I love you too" he chokes out.
"Don't cry" I say. "I swear, if you start crying I'm going to cry too".
"I won't" he promises.
"Okay" I say, breathing out in relief, and I take a step back. Slowly, the sounds around me start to come back, and I feel my face heat up as the people near us are staring at us.

"Any idea when you're leaving exactly?" I ask. Lucas shrugs, and looks at the departure sign.
"My uncle should be here soon" he says. "He's coming with me. He wanted to go to Paris anyway so he didn't mind having his plane ticket paid for him. Also he really likes me and I think he's pretty cool because he has earrings and a boyfriend".
"You're rambling" I say.
"I know" he says. "It keeps my mind empty, that's why I always do it whenever I'm nervous".
I frown.
"I never knew that was a conscious decision" I say.
"Well, you can't know everything about me" Lucas replies.
"I guess so" I say, deepening my frown. "Why does that annoy me so much?"

He giggles and shakes his head, causing his hair to fall over his eyes.
"You're going to have to get used to that Dean" he says. "I'll try to tell you as much as I can via Skype, but there are going to be things you can't know".
"Ugh" I say, rolling my eyes. "Stop talking about it, it's making me..."
I stop talking for a moment.
"Jealous?" Lucas asks, tilting his head to the side a bit.
"Pff, no" I scoff.
A small grin spreads on his face, and he laughs.
"You don't strike me as the jealous type" he says. "But you're a big fat jellybean!"
He gasps, his smile growing.
"You're a jellyde-"
"And that's enough out of you" I say, covering his mouth with my hand.

"Hi boys!" my mom says, as she joins us. There's a twenty-something year old man standing next to her. He looks a little bit like Lucas. He has the same hair as Lucas, though it's a bit lighter, and icy blue eyes.
"Hi Lucas!" he says.
"Hey" Lucas says, and he hugs the man. I assume that's his uncle.
"Are you all ready to go?" Lucas's uncle asks, and Lucas nods excitedly.
"I don't have anything in my bag I shouldn't be having" he says. "And I've already said goodbye to Dean..."
"I'm a little hurt you didn't say goodbye to me last time" my mom says.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Lucas says, and he takes a step towards her. "Goodbye miss Walker, and thanks again for picking me up at the train station".
My mom laughs, and hugs Lucas. He looks a bit taken aback for a moment, but then hugs her back.
"Call me Sylvia" she says.

When she steps back, Lucas looks a little lost for a second.
"We should go Luc" his uncle says.
"Oh, yeah. Okay" he says.
He turns to look at me, and I give him a reassuring smile.
"You'll be fine" I say. "Your uncle will make sure you don't get lost".
He nods slowly, taking deep breaths.
"I'll be fine" he repeats, and he forces a smile onto his face. I do the same, not wanting him to feel bad for leaving. I know it's not his fault, but I'm scared he might feel like it is anyway.
"Bye" his uncle says, clearly in a hurry.
"Uh, yeah. Bye bye" he mutters.

"Wait" I say, and I grab his wrist. "You really need to give me the password of your new school account".
"I will" he says, nodding. "Now that you can't do my homework anymore".
I smile, pulling him slightly towards me.
"You have to learn on your own for once" I say, and he smiles back.
"I'll do my best" he says. "But I'm going to need your help".
"You realise you'd have to call me in the middle of the night, right?" I ask.
"You said you wouldn't mind" he shrugs.
"You're misusing my love for you" I sigh.
"Absolutely" he says, and he presses a kiss on my cheek. "I really have to go now".

"Okay" I sigh. "Goodbye hug".
He nods, and drops against me, putting his arms around me. I hug him back, and dig my nose into his hair.
"I love you" I mutter.
"I love you too" he whispers back, before pulling out of the hug and turning to his uncle, who's looking at us with a strange smile on his face.
"My parents don't know yet" Lucas says, and the man nods.
"Let's go Luc" he says, patting Lucas on the shoulder and gently pushing him along.

He looks over his shoulder, and waves at me. I wave back at him, watching as he and his uncle slowly dissappear into the crowd. I feel strangely dizzy as I look at all the people crowding around them until he's out of sight. I sigh.

I can't believe I've had to do this twice already.

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