Hawkeye: Agony

Phil Coulson

"You okay Buddy?" Phil had waited until I'd noticed him before he spoke, knowing I couldn't hear.
I read his lips fairly easily this time, but it wasn't always so easy, especially when I was crying.

"What're you crying for?" He sat down beside me and kept his gaze on me so I could attempt to understand.
"I should be in a cell with the others..." I looked up, my small blue eyes were cloudy.
"No you shouldn't. You're better than them..."
"I've been bad to good people. And I can't help you. I'm just a kid..." I rubbed my eyes hard so that I could see properly, "I'm too weak," I looked down at my skinny arms and then the food beside me, which I couldn't bring myself to swallow. I'd been anorexic for as long as I could remember. I didn't eat enough to stay healthy, and every performance set my head spinning.

Phil paused a little then smiled at me, "Come on. I need to show you something."
I looked his expression over and managed a smile of my own seeing his, then got up and walked with him to a big room with a large stone plaque in the middle. Across the plaque were names of fallen soldiers, and he picked me up so I could see.
"There he is," Phil tapped a name and smiled at me.
I looked from him to the scribble on the stone with a confused look.
I mumbled with a little embarrassment, "What does it say...?" I looked down at him as he put me back down.
Phil realised I couldn't read but he just smiled and said "Captain America."
My face fell a little, remembering how much my dad used to respect him. Phil clearly noticed and began telling me a heroic story about him crashing a plane in to the ocean, and how everyone in SHIELD was still searching to the day. It gave me more respect for the man, and the more Phil said, the more I was in awe of it all. Whether that was because of the stories themselves or how enthusiastic Phil was about it all, I still don't know.

He pointed out Mrs Carter's name and the name 'James Barnes'.
"..._He wasn't like Steve. Sergeant Barnes was just a regular guy like you and me, and he did so much for our country. Sometimes I don't think I can do something, and I just think about how he was able to help just like Captain America, without all of the powers. It's a shame they're both gone."
"So I can be like him?"
"I know so," Phil said with a smile, "I think you're already almost there."

**

A few minutes later, we were sat in Phil's bedroom with a stack of Captain America comics. He was trying to teach me how to read them, but it proved pretty hard without being able to say all the sounds that the words make. He was being very patient with me, even when I told him I couldn't write too well either.

We planned to sit there for hours but I could feel someone watching us from the door.
"You're slacking Agent Coulson. You're late for training. So is Barton."
"He's training me to read," I smiled slightly then saw his scolding face and looked straight back down at the comic and buried my face.
"Read?"
"He needs help, Fury..."
"Well he can do it in his time, not mine."
"He still needs to learn sign language. You can't keep yelling in his face, thinking he'll understand. He's a kid, Fury. He shouldn't be living in a military base at all. He's not legally signed for."
"So you want us to adopt him like a class pet? He's an agent. He's not here to enjoy it, he's here to work off his court sentence."
"But he deserves to be normal too."

I looked up, feeling Phil breathing quicker next to me as the arguement became more heated. I guess I looked worried, because Phil smiled at me and nodded for me to follow him to training, "We better get going kid. We'll continue this later."

**

"I'm signing the papers for him..." Phil said as he stood in the door of the director's office, later that same day.
"You're adopting the child that kills people. After everything we've seen he's capable of."
"You're scared of a twelve year old that you haven't even talked to. Anyway, it's my choice."
"Not if he can't leave the building without a mission file, until his reports show he's stable."
"Who said I was taking him home? I'll live here. Then I can teach him how to read."
Fury raised an eyebrow, "What do you want, Coulson?"
"Approval. And help if things go wrong. You know the business... I've grown partial to him."
Fury huffed, "Well he did fight well."

Fury looked down at his papers, they read "The Avengers initiative".
"You still believe in that?"
"I do," He looked up at Phil with his one eye, "And I think you'll both be on it."
Phil smiled a little and brought in the papers and me, and they both signed for a 'legal' adoption. (I've been told a few strings were pulled in the court room.)
Fury had attempted to get to know me by teaching me how to write my name at the desk.
I still have the papers with me today, that have a scrawled name written across the bottom in my own hand.