Hawkeye: Agony

The Starks

I'd always been fascinated by Howard Stark as a child. I'd watch him, staring at maps, rummaging through files upon files of navigation data, and every so often, I would see him leave to fly his old fashioned jet towards the artic.
But I was even more intrigued by the guy that followed him around. Jeez, little me was amazed by someone so rich that they had their own butler. I never thought I'd be close to someone that wealthy in all of my life.

Jarvis was a good man and an even better cook. He was a big part in how I started to regain some weight. (I also let him practice his judoku on me, from time to time.) But the first memory I have of Edwin Jarvis, is the day he first took me to high school, by request of Peggy Carter.
Phil's lessons were doing me good but the government and Fury thought I was wasting the valuable time of their agents.
I didn't want to go. I hardly knew how to talk out-loud, let alone read to a class. But I am an agent, and I knew back then that it was easier not to fight.

"Th__ s__ool is high__ recommended. I am su__ you _ill love it _____," Jarvis said, glancing between the rear view mirror and the road.

I smiled weakly, looking back down for a moment at my hands, knuckles bruised from an early morning training session, before looking up to see the name 'Tony'.
"Who is that?" I mumbled, trying to keep eye contact with the reflection.
"Mast__ Stars(Stark's?) son. (...) _ friends,"  Jarvis nodded with a smile in my direction. Now he keeps his head still.

The car pulled up and a boy got in to the car. He was older than me, but I wasn't sure by how much, but he looked like he could be a college student, and I looked like I should be in 5th grade.
We didn't know this at the time, but being in the circus tent stops you from aging. So where we all thought I was twelve, I was actually a seven year old boy. So I shouldn't have been driving to middle school, let alone high school. I guess Fury thought if I had advanced classes, I would learn quicker. But one glance at Tony Stark told me that I was about to be eaten alive.

"Um... Jarvis? Who's the kid and why doesn't he have a booster seat? Why is he staring at me? ...And is that my old uniform?"
I quickly looked away from him and out of the window, flashing my very damaged looking ears to Tony who now got his chance to stare back.
"Did he skip some grades too? Dad found a new child prodigy, huh? Always knew he'd replace me."
I looked from Tony's reflection in the window to Jarvis in the front seat.
"He is not replacing you, Master Stark. This is a SHIELD agent who just...needs your help starting school."
"Well rule one is don't pull up in my limo. He's going to bring me down with him."
"Master Stark!"
"What? He can't hear me. Isn't that why he's stuck with me?"
I looked between them both, glaring at each other.
Quietly I spoke, "I know the way, you can drop me off here..."
Which made Tony go red and look out of the window when he realised I had understood.

I wasn't offended. He was like Barney. He was just acting tough because he wants more attention from the people around him. I felt bad for him and to be honest, a part of me didn't want to follow the smartest kid in school around. I didn't want people to compare us.

**

The first class I had to share with Tony was his math class. Even if it was the easiest for me to try to figure out on my own without listening, it was still far above my grade.
Like in every underdog story ever, I was called up to solve the problem on the board.  I didn't make it past step one. I'd only learnt what the divide sign meant a week ago.
A part of me felt quite happy that I couldn't hear the laughter, but I glanced over at Tony and saw him laughing along; and suddenly I wanted to be in that cell again with no need to learn algebra at all.

The bell rang and I watched everyone pack up their stuff so I quickly ran over to my bag, hoisted it over my shoulder and left the room. I didn't follow Tony like I was supposed to, and needless to say, I got lost very quickly without him.
I ended up in the boy's toilets and I sat down in a stall and cried, only to look up when I noticed the walls were shaking. Someone was banging on the door.
("Open up, Barton!")
I slowly moved to the door and opened it to see Tony, which made me smile. Maybe he'd come to help me.
"Tony..? I'm really lost... I want to go home."
"... _'_ sorry, _an," Tony mumbled, looking down.
That's when I got my first and only swirlie. And a wedgie, but I got quite a few of them in the future.
I just stayed in the bathroom after that, keeping totally silent with the door locked and my legs tucked up on to the closed seat. I had a lot of experience keeping quiet. I felt like I was hiding from my dad all over again, but from a whole school.

When the day was over, I was practically dry, so I met Jarvis at the limo and climbed in - eyeing Tony who was already sat there. He didn't look at me.
"How was it today? Did they let you two stay together?" Jarvis said, maintaining eye contact.
Tony glanced at me.
"It was alright. Tony showed me around," I looked at him then Jarvis who looked happy.

**

The moment that we finally arrived back at SHIELD, I knew something was off. Mrs Carter was waiting outside and she looked like she had been crying. Did she know? I didn't tell on Tony to anyone.
She walked past me towards Tony and gave him a hug, but Tony pushed her away, yelled something before he ran off inside. I saw tears running down his face.
Jarvis looked at me, "You should talk to him."

I paused for a slight moment but I chased Tony in ninja silence until I was stood on the top step of the roof, staring at Tony sat on a vent with his head in his hands.
That was the moment I noticed, just how much Tony was like Barney. They were angry and in pain, and they told me by directing it at me. And right then, I didn't mind.
I walked over, "Tony..? Are you okay?"
"I deserved this, didn't I? I deserved_. He always liked him more than me. Heck, he liked you more than me too. He talked about you a lot. How you were so smart and that... there was something special about you that he wanted to crack."
"Well? Are you happy now? They're dead! They're both DEAD!" He punched me, hard in the face so that I fell backwards to the floor.
I stared up at him, frozen, "I_."
Tony starred back for a moment, leaning over me slightly, "My parents. They were killed."
"And the last thing he did, was make you some stupid hearing aids! That's how he spent his last day with me!!"

Tony jumped on me then, tackling me down so my head was over the side of the building.
"Why..? Why would you take him away like Captain America did..?"

That's when Jarvis and Mrs Carter came up and pulled us away from each other, and I melted in to her safety. I couldn't stop shaking at the thought of being beaten, like the beatings my brother and dad used to give to me.

I guess this is why I wasn't so surprised when Tony tried to arrest me. I knew what he could be like when he was hurt by the people close to him,  especially me.

The Starks deaths were shocking for the whole world, but no one felt it worse than Tony Stark. I never saw Jarvis again before he died but I do remember, Mrs Carter didn't stop crying for days, and the lab stayed locked until J.A.R.V.I.S, the new AIM security system was built.