Hawkeye: Agony

The Rise of the Dead

There was a knock on the door that interrupted my wandering thoughts. I looked up to see Fury, which made me sit up sharply before he noticed something was wrong.
Fury watched as the cuffs pulled me back down then simply stated, "You are a mess..."
He walked over slowly and took Nathaniel from me, giving him a bottle from his deep pockets. With this, he shot me a small look not to tell anyone about his soft spot for my kids.
"Thank you..." I managed to mutter, with a small glance around.
Fury was silent for a moment.
"I know you didn't come just to feed a baby... What's going to happen to me?"
"Nothing. Besides new, smaller working hours," He glanced up at me then paused again, "You looked like you needed something, or, someone."
With a reach in to another deep pocket, Fury pulled out an orb and threw it at the security camera in the room, which then paused the feed.

Phil Coulson walked in the door at that moment and shut it behind him.
...Phil...
He'd been dead since the Battle of New York...
I stared at him and Phil smiled slightly, "You look like you've seen a ghost."
I kept staring until Phil walked over and gave me a hug, "It's been a while," He chuckled at my expression before letting go again.
"How are you_...?" I looked up at Fury.
"I figured Coulson was always better at the parental side of things."
"I thought you died..."
Phil paused a little and sat beside me, "I've been around for a while, Clint. I've been leading a group for Fury."
"Mack... Daisy..." Turning my head to face him, I saw he smiled slightly.
"I'd have invited you and Natasha but you were wisked off in to the Avengers," Phil looked up at Fury who shrugged a little and returned to bouncing Nathaniel.

"Why didn't you tell me?" My gaze didn't divert from Phil.
"We don't know... It was for the best, I guess."
I paused and nodded slightly, even though I still don't agree to this day.
He smiled and gave me a quick hug and then pulled out the key to unlock my cuffs.

"What happened to me was never your fault," Phil said glancing up at me, adding, "Neither was what happened to Laura."
Before I could respond, he continued, "Now you need to take time for those kids of yours. Take time off... I don't think you've had a day since you joined."
"I mean, I tried..." I mumbled, remembering the day I was sat in a motel on my way home to my family.
"It's not my fault a God decided to fall from the sky that day..." Fury said with a small smirk to Nathaniel, "Is it Nate?"
Nathaniel made a baby squeal in response, then returned to drinking from his bottle.
"See? He agrees," Fury nodded seriously.
I smiled and chuckled slightly weakly, then rubbed my face and composed my expression behind a hand.

"Cooper and Lila are going to hate me..."
"They need you as much as you need them," Phil said, taking Nathaniel from Fury and putting him in my arms.
"I don't know how to look after them."
"Do you think we knew how to look after you, kid?" Fury laughed, "I left all that to Agent.Coulson."
Phil nodded with a look at Fury like he was pretty useless in it all, which recieved him a glare.
"Don't look at me for how to change a diaper," Phil laughed.
I laughed and turned, "We can learn together. I better go get the kids..."

**

"Agent Barton," Fury said as he strode in to the S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facility, "How's your head? I heard Romanoff tried to give you a concussion."
"It could be worse. It's better than having Loki in my brain. I'm glad we got him."
"I heard Stark had a heart attack before you all left."
"It was caused. I know it was. ...It was probably Loki trying to get one final grab on the cube."
"Most likely," The director paused his speech as he sat down beside me slowly, "How much do you remember?"
"I remember shooting at you, if that's what you're asking," I said, staring down at the scars on my hands in my lap.
"No. I want any intel you know about him."
"You don't trust that Thor will keep him away from here?"
"No. ...No I trust that."

I was very confused at that point. This was usually where Nick Fury would talk about how he always needed both eyes open. Everywhere being surveillanced and protected. Especially from the guy who just got past every S.H.I.E.L.D. defense possible.
"What did he do to again your trust? You hardly trust me and it's been, what? 15 years?"
Fury chuckled a little but the tone went serious again very quickly, "Coulson trusted him," Fury said in a monotone voice, finally turning from his soldier posture to face me.
He was nervous. He had a bead of sweat on his forehead and his hands were clenched ever so slightly behind the thick leather of his gloves.

"... He's gone?" I kept my gaze locked with Fury for a moment without a response, "Come on, tell me!" My voice cracked slightly so I looked ahead again and tried to regain my composure by fixing on a spot of the wall. It was a photo of Jemma and Fitz with Phil - their first day on his team. I hunched forward quickly so my head was on my knees. "I could have saved him if I wasn't_."
"No. He was trying to save Thor. That's on him."
I looked up, " 'That's on him'?!" I stared at Fury, "It was our job to stop him coming through to Earth in the first place! You can't even take the blame now?! You can't share it with me?! I could have saved him, but I saved you instead... And got my mind taken."

Fury watched me for a second as I sunk back over my knees, and after a while, I felt his hand on my back.
"... We didn't even get our trading card collection signed," I knew Phil was waiting to find me before he did. They took us years to collect. Most were already a part of Phil's own childhood collection.
I made a few muffled sounds against my knees and Fury pulled a little so I was leaning on his side in some weird form of a bent over hug.

He never had the heart to explain why the cards were stained with blood when I found them. I knew they were really in his locker.