A Time for Love

Day 11 - 1942

I've talked to Edward a lot off and on through letters. The Allies are always shifting around the Axis powers, never being able to get a hold on them.

There's a lot of handsome men that come back and forth from the army, but I remember quite bluntly how pointless one-night stands are - like they were in college. That's why Steve thought there wasn't anything more to us than the lust we felt for each other. Though a lot of that was being taken advantage of on an ever-changing mix of Bipolar drugs. 

It's not mens' fault. Many of them need us more than we need them - so they chase after the ones that aren't as emotionally available, and run away from those that love them. Women do knot know what to do with them. Half of them throw themselves in the church so that they can settle on ANY man, and the other throw themselves to impulse - knowing that they can't have what they want, but can have a taste of it anyway. 

When I was younger, I threw myself into the Bible and Christian literature. Went to every kind of church sermon - sometimes two in a weekend. Going to three if I was lucky: mass, synagogue, and church. It made me feel giddy. Being young and naive made me unprepared for the temptation to come. 

I have thrown myself into singing again. I started in private - listening to the radio and teaching myself the songs of the era. Learning the words and how to sing them helped me to get an opening act. The girls I work with became so excited - telling their friends, family, and boyfriends. They loved to dress me up and put flowers in my hair. It's mostly the older men who come however, the ones who were too old to go off to war and instead had to say goodbye to their sons. There's an aura of sadness that permeates off them - something I hate but have learned to ignore. Up there on stage, I lose myself in the act, and I forget the whole world.