A Time for Love

Day 26

Sun shines through the window

I roll over in my bed, trying to block out the sun 

The sound machine hums me back to sleep 

Til I see them, the twins

They are staring back at me, talking to me and watching me

The two make an unmistakable Mae Lu

I can no longer tell who is separate

Feeling this, I wake up

I cross over our shared living room to Amber's room

I push open the door

To find Steve staring at pictures of Amber and Jade on the wall

He thumbs over Amber's hair

"I know they are probably going to say I dreamed it all" he says. "The evidence is right here. Her room is right here. Callie came in last night, however, and she didn't know who I was / or why there was an extra room. She was so messed up when I told her she was Amber's friend. She yelled at me and ran out the door."

I reach for his hand, grabbing hold to his knuckles, and thumbing over them. 

"No offense... but you're absolutely helpless and insane sounding right now."

"You don't believe me?"

"It's super strange, seeing a guy whom you had feelings for, whom ignored you for 4 years, suddenly coming into your apartment and talking about a strange roommate we don't remember" I say.

He looks down at his hands.

"You don't believe me."

"Aw... relax" I say, sitting next to him. "Just because I don't remember, doesn't mean I don't believe you. You're obviously in these photos with her, so that means you couldn't have made it all up."

He's still silent. I sit down next to him. 

"I guess this is amnesia" I speculate.

"Something to that regard" he replies. "You were with that being. I had told you I loved you. I do love you Annie, I just loved Amber too. She was vulnerable, and when we made love... I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this. You were obviously upset about us."

"If I was, it was her perfect hair, teeth, eyes, mouth, and body. She's an obvious 10, while I'm an obvious 5."

He shakes his head. 

"I wish you wouldn't see yourself that way."

"Let's say Amber did all the stuff I did, and then you met me. Would come to care about about me the way you care about her?" I ask.

He avoids my gaze.

"I don't know" he says. "I'm sorry. I never guess that it was the reason."

"I'm used to it" I reply. "Believe me, I've been called a lot worse."

We sit silent, as the reality of what he has had with Amber is impossible to what I could ever have. 

"Well, thats it I guess" I surmise, swallowing my disappointment. "You're welcome, however, to stay as long as you would like."

"I won't stay long. Just long enough to say goodbye" he claims, looking at the photos. 

I close the door. 

...

"For what it was worth, he was weird anyway" says Callie.

We sit together on the couch hunched over - playing Super Smash Brothers.

"Probably wouldn't be your type - talking about inter-dimensional demons and shit."

Saying this, she moves Link over, slashing through Samus with Link's sword.

"Doesn't explain the missing roommate thing and why we can't remember her" I question, as I fly Kirby around in the air, avoiding the chupacabra monster and trying to sneak an attack on Mario.

"Probably cause he was the one abusing us" replies Callie. "He seems like the type. His ass is obviously Herculean enough, let alone his eyes."

"Oh god... his eyes" I sigh.

"Exactly" replies Callie. "Perhaps we thought we could share him, then he made up the fake girlfriend thing to make us jealous. Perhaps this was... damn it!"

Link gets slashed by Samus.

It's now sudden death. Kirby faces off, prepared to lay a fatal blow, before Mario kicks him first - tossing Kirby up into space, defeated.

"Damn."

"Yes" says Callie, unfazed by this, and feeling better knowing I lost another round. "Anyway, I honestly have no real explanation for what happened and I'm tired. Good night!"

Callie gets up, turns off the switch, and retreats to her room.

I search hard as she leaves to see her expression. There is no evidence of curiosity or doubt.

I lay down in my bed, thinking about Steve.. My heart longs with disappointment for what I thought were renewed feelings in Steve, and feels shameful oncemore for having allowed myself to hope. Amber's face feels vaguely familiar. In spite of having no memory other, I get the distinct feeling that I have seen her before.

As I shut my eyes, I'm flooded with images of a tall, blonde Russian lady, and a woman that looks like Amber but with a different feel.

Then, there are images of a young woman scared of the world around her - Kings and Queens that wait to kill her. I toss and turn in my bed