Roots Before Branches

Chapter 20: Don't Go

"What can I do for you to never feel this way again?" I asked her and she sighed.

"I don't know, honestly." She said with her head on my chest.

Feels good to stay like this with Rachel, she made me feel more things in days that Quinn made me feel in years. And the idea that I should've chosen the adventue don't leave my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about the dream part, we were married and had 3 kids. Wow. We used to talk a lot about that back in High School but again, it was High School. Everything was just confusing and intense.

"Don't go." I said. "Not so soon, not now that I know all of that. I can't let you go before I know you're completely fine. Specially now that I know about your life out of the stages is."

"But I have to-" She said but I interrupted.

"No, this is about your mental health that we're talking about." I said to her.

"But I have work to do, songs to sing, interviews to give, photos to shoot." She said.

"I don't care, cancel them. You need to take care of yourself." I said. "When was the last time you enjoyed perform?"

"4th of July, until the end of it, that ruined the whole performance. I saw my parents in the crowd and I started panicking, so when the song was over I ran to the backstage and stayed there the rest of the party talking to Puck." She said and I winced with the mention of the name. "I'm sorry. I forgot."

"It's okay." I said. "Still hurts but I guess that somewhere inside me, I kind of always knew that wouldn't work. Me and Quinn never had much in common. We both got comfortable in the relationship, it was easy. But now she's having a baby with someone else. It feels weird knowing that the woman that slept next to me for years is having a baby with someone else."

"Do you think you'll be back with her? Figure it out things between you, her, Puck and the baby?" Rachel asked.

"No." I said.

"Sorry, it just sucks." Rachel said snugglin with me. It feels so comfortable to be like this with her, I feel I can be like that forever. I'm so confused with all of this. I don't know how to feel around her, I feel guilty to enjoy cuddling with Rachel when I supposed to be crying over Quinn, the tears don't come anymore.

"Thank you for rescuing me at the bar yesterday." I said and she chuckled a little. Rachel is still with her head on my chest and I'm stroking her hair softly.

"Yeah, you didn't sounded really well." She said and we both laughed.

"I wasn't." I said and we laughed. "And I apologize for the embarrassing things that I may have said yesterday." She laughed.

"Nothing was embarrassing, some things made me happy to hear." She said.

"Like what?" I asked. I remember everything I said but I wanna know what she's thinking.

"That's a secret." She said laughing.

I missed being like this with her.