Be safe.

XXI.

Hey guys, so before you murder me, I have to apologise for my absence. After i was done with my exams in may, i thought that having more time to write was a great thing but it actually wasn't. On top of having personal things to deal with, i had a huge writers block. I just didn't know how to continue my story. I spent the last 3 months writing and erasing and rewriting and erasing again. Nothing i was writing was good enough. I eventually came up with an idea that included something i wanted to do in the story.

***

No one POV:
It has now been five years since Paris was born. The girls grew a lot and are the best of friends. Paris is your typical girly girl, she loves dresses and make up and pink and princesses and all that stuff. She's an amazing young lady. The twins are amazing too, very smart and very good mama helpers. Lily is also your typical girly girl. Her and Paris get along so very well. Grace on the other hand is more tomboyish, she's grown up to be this amazing young girl who loves wearing "boy" clothes, dark colors and absolutely hates dresses. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned for Alison and Emily. The girls split up about a year ago and the reason is going to be explained further. The divorce hasn't been pronounced yet and Emily has the girls as Alison has someone else. The split between Alison and Emily was very hard for both of them but is probably harder on the kids who get to see Alison every two week-ends.

Emily pov:
As I wake up this morning, I turn around in my king sized bed to an empty space. It's another day without the love of my life. I still love Alison more than anything but something happened in our life that completely changed us and broke us. But I don't have time to cry because I have to wake the girls up and they have to go to school. I get up, get dressed and go to my daughters rooms. I first go to Lilly and Paris's room. Yes, the twins do not sleep in the same room anymore as they have very different interests and asked to be separated and since I don't have money to buy a new house with more rooms and Paris and Lily both love the same kind of things so we moved Paris with Lily. Anyway, I wake them up and then go to Grace's room and go downstairs to make their breakfast. About 10 minutes later, everyone comes down and after they eat, we leave. I take them to their school and go to Hollis where I'm still the swim coach and also the head of the sport department. Alison also works here still so I get to see her every day, I can still keep an eye on her to see how she's doing. I arrive a go straight to the teacher's room. Ali is already here and I try to avoid her as much as possible but she asks every single day for news about the girls, which I really appreciate because it proves she still cares. I know she's very sad because she doesn't get to see them every day but it's kind of her fault. I can see, in the corner of my eye, Ali coming towards my locker.

A: hey Em, how are the girls?
E: they're fine just like every day. How's Billy?
A: He's okay.

Remember Billy? He now lives with us, well with Alison. We have had him for about two years now and the reason is because Cece and Eliott died in car accident. Fortunately, Billy wasn't with them when it happened but when we got the news, Alison was devastated. Of course, the first thing we thought about was Billy. We got a call about three days after the news from Cece's lawyer telling us that Cece designated Alison as Billy's prime caretaker in case something happened to both them. So the day after that, we travelled to Paris to pick Billy up and we've had him ever since. But Alison didn't deal with that as well as Billy did. She started drinking heavily and going out at night in bars and we started fighting a lot and like harsh fighting. I understood and was there to pick her up in the middle of the night for the first 6 months and then the unthinkable happened, she cheated on me while wasted as fuck. I was heartbroken, I mean it's one thing to lose a close relative but it's not a reason to cheat. I had to take the hardest decision of my life, throw her out for the girls and Billy's wellbeing. Once she moved out, I was a wreck, I mean I just lost the love of my life, but once she was completely moved out, she of course wanted to have the kids and I said no. I gave her an ultimatum, she first had to get cleaned and sober before seeing the kids again. She started going to AA meetings and got better with time. Of course problems never come one at a time, we had the social worker lady coming over to check on how Billy's doing and when she learnt that me and Alison were not together anymore she told me that Billy had to be with Alison because she and only her is the prime care taker. I told her Alison's situation but she was stable enough to have Billy so I moved Billy to Alison's flat and the girls were really sad because after losing their mommy, they lost their cousin. Our lives are really messed up right now.
After replying to Alison, I look at her and she has red puffy eyes again. Has she been crying or drinking or worst, did she start doing drugs? I need to know but I can't ask her here because there is too many people around. I take her hand and take her to my personal office. God I missed her hand, like I missed her contact so much. Of course she's confused but I need to be tough and control my emotions right now. I'm doing this for our kids. I open the office and tell her to seat on the chair.

E: Sit Alison! Now!
A: Emily, what th...
E: Have you been drinking again?
A: what no! Why would you think that?
E: just look at yourself Alison!

She looks down and had tears in her eyes. Seeing the love of my life like this broke my heart. But remember Emily, you're doing this for the kids. I go in my desk and take out an alcohol test. She doesn't look so thrilled about it.

A: What the hell Emily?
E: sorry but I don't really trust you anymore, so you either take this test and prove me that you're not lying or you don't get to see the girls this week end.
A: you can't do that Emily, we are not even divorced so you don't get to decide alone who has the girls! I am really sick of this situation. I want my girls full time too, Billy misses them and you and I miss you! I love you Emily and I'm really sorry for everything.
E: No, you being all mushy won't work, not this time Alison. Take the damn test or you're done with the girls! I swear Ali, I am not kidding!

I throw her the test and leave my office, very angry but also about to cry and I can't have her see me like this. I can hear her cry from the other side of the pool. But she's right, we are not divorced but the social workers decided she wasn't at a good enough place to take care of the four kids by herself. I feel bad for her, I know she started drinking because she lost her sister bust guess what, I lost my father and I wasn't like that when it happened. I know people do not react the same way but we have kids involved now, our kids that really miss seeing both their moms happy. I go in the prop's closet and clean it because I have nothing else to do for now.

Alison pov:
Emily is very angry at me for some reasons. She assumes I started drinking again because I have red eyes when really I haven't been sleeping. Bill cries every night because he misses the girls and then I cry because god I miss my girls, all of my girls. I miss sleeping next to Emily's warm body and being woken up by my moody babies every week end. But this is all my fault, I am the dumb ass who cheated on Em when I as very drunk and probably high. I regret it more than anything but Emily took everything away from me and this didn't help me get back on track but I did manage to get back on track, kind of and now I really want to go back to normal. I want my babies, I want to move back home. The shitty apartment I am in right now is not home. It's just a shitty apartment I'm crashing in until I figure things out with my wife. I decided to take the stupid test Emily wants me to take so I can prove to her that I'm doing my best to change! I blow in the balloon and wait a few seconds. Like I was expecting, the test is negative, I don't have any alcohol in my system. I stand up, pick up my stuff, walk to where Emily is, which is her prop closet and throw her the test back before leaving angry. I actually wait in a corner to see her reaction. She picks the test up and looks at it. She blows like she's relieving so much pain. I can see her bring her hand to her forehead and just sit down. I actually leave now because I have to teach a class but I'm waiting to see if she's gonna call me tonight or not.

Okay, so please don't kill me. Just keep in mind it's an EMISON story! Let me know what you think about it and I'm open to any suggestions. Thank you so much to those who stick with me since i started this story. 

Remember to always be kind to one another :)