Be safe.

VI.

Emily pov
Seeing Ali struggling to walk is so funny and cute at the same time, I feel so bad for her but in my defense, she asked for it. We were enjoying our time together, the girls were showing me how good their reading and writing has become. They actually don't know much, just a little but they're so proud of themselves and I'm a proud mama. My phone beeps, someone just sent me an email. I look at it, it's from my colonel, Hunt. I immediately know what it's going to say.

"Good day Fields, I know I told you'd have to come back to fight at the beginning of January but we actually need you by December 29th. I'm sorry to cut your vacation with your family short. If you can make it, we promise to raise you up in grade. A car is going to pick you up on the 29th at 10 am. Be ready. -Hunt"

I start to tear up, I'm gonna have to leave my family earlier than excepted. How am I going to tell Ali? She's gonna be so mad at me, but I can't do anything about it. Plus if they raise me up in grades, I'm gonna earn more money and I'll be able to support them better. She looks at me, asking me what's wrong. I stare at her beautiful blue eyes, I need to do this.

A: Em, baby tell me, I'm getting worried here
E: I have to go back
A: yeah I know; on January 4th
E: that's the thing babe
A: What?
E: I have to go back in three days
A: WHAT!
E: I'm sorry babe
A: EM YOU PROMISED!
E: I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T CHOOSE
A: YES YOU DID
E: HOW
A: BY JOINING THE ARMY

Ali is crying and she runs into our bedroom, I can tell it hurt her to run but she did it anyway. The twins are also crying but not for the same reasons, they cry whenever we fight. They hate us fighting and yelling at each other. I take both of them in my arms ad tell them everything is gonna be alright. Once they've calmed down, I put them in front of their cartoons for a bit so I can go talk to Ali. I walk into our room and she's crying in our bed. Seeing her like this completely breaks my heart, I hate seeing her so upset. Her back is facing me, she doesn't move and I don't either. So I'm standing by the door, but I closed it so the girls wouldn't hear us.

E: Ali I'm so sorry
A: Em, you promised!
E: I know but please, don't make this harder for me

She turns to face me and her eyes are all puffy and red.

A: FOR YOU? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME HERE ALL ALONE WITH THE GIRLS? HOW HARD IT IS TO GO DAYS, WEEKS WITHOUT KNOWING IF YOU ARE OKAY, HAVING TO LIE TO THE GIRLS? HOW HARD IT IS TO SLEEP? HOW SCARED I AM EVERY MORNING WHEN I WAKE UP TO SEE AN EMAIL FROM YOUR BASE TELLING YOU GOT SHOT AND DIED? HOW HARD IT IS TO RAISE THE GIRLS BY MYSELF? HOW HEARTBREAKING IT IS TO SEE THE GIRLS CRY THEIR EYES OUT BECAUSE THEY MISS YOU? HAVE NO IDEA!

E: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW ALL OF THAT? I AM SCARED FOR MYSELF TOO OKAY? I MISS YOU AND THE GIRLS EVERY SECOND AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU! BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ALISON, I AM DOING FOR OUR FAMILY, SO THAT OUR GIRLS CAN SLEEP AND GROW IN A SAFE COUNTRY, SO THAT YOU CAN BE IN A SAFE HOME. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND PROTECTING MY FAMILY IS MY PRIORITY!

Ali is sobbing, she runs into the bathroom and locks herself in it. I hate myself right now.

E: Ali please, come out and talk to me
A: go away Em
E: Ali, don't shut me out, I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm sorry for everything but please, I need you. I know it's hard for you but it's hard for me too. I hate missing the girls grow, I hate seeing you sad, I hate having my mom look out for you, I hate not being able to call you but this is my job. I'm gonna protect you for as long as I can and I hope you can forgive me before I have to leave because I don't want to leave and having you mad at me. I love you Alison.

I leave the room and leave her in the bathroom. She was still crying when I left. I go back to my girls, they're still watching tv.

G: is mommy okay?
L: why was mommy crying anyway?