Our world

Chapter 1

Dear Diary, 

     Hello... I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to write in this thing. To be honest, I had never owned a diary or any sort of journal. This was making me feel silly. How was writing to myself going to benefit me? My best friend, Mia Davis gave me this diary as a way to "cope with my hidden emotions." Cue the eye roll. It was not like I hide my emotions though. I could complain and vent over and over and over again, but who wants to hear all that, right? Well I guess you are from now on.

     Well diary, let me formally introduce myself before I explain some of those 'annoying hidden emotions.' My name is Luna Jacobs and I am 20 years old. Currently, I am roommates with my bestie, Mia at a local university in Texas. I worked at a small surf and skate shop a few minutes away during the summer and after classes. 

     I believed to be somewhat of a recluse, although not intentionally. I was always too much in my head and observing my surroundings to focus on what was in front of me. Yup, you guessed it. I was that awkwardly shy girl that sat in the back of every class avoiding eye contact. I could literally walk by my mother and not see her. Avoiding human kind was my specialty. Why? I always blamed it on my anxiety. Is anxiety hereditary? I believed so.

     It wasn't as bad as what I assumed others go through but it was always present in the forefront of my mind. I always struggled to put a complete sentence together when others talked to me. However, when you get past my awkwardness to the point of friendship, there was no shutting me up.

       I didn't see my family much, besides holidays and birthdays. I would like to see them more but we are all living our own lives. My family liked to keep to themselves. I think that was where I got my need to be alone. I enjoyed my solitude almost more than I enjoy pizza. And that's a lot. 

     Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete weirdo. I go to parties and hang outs when invited, I mingle. It's holding up conversations and relaxing around strangers that had me in a bundle of nerves. That was kind of redundant... This writing to myself is useless if I coulddn't even make sense of my thoughts.

     Anyways, Let's see. What else? 

      I am 5'2, skinny-average built, long brown hair, brown eyes. I love to cuddle up with a good book or two. Very average. Very boring. Trust me, I've been told more than the number of times I would like to admit.

     Ok diary, that was my introduction. 

     Now let's get into the real reason behind me writing in this thing. Mia believes that this diary can be like my imaginary best friend. Someone I can tell everything to when I couldn't actually get myself to tell her. She had good intentions.

     Mia wanted a do over for me; for us. She was an amazing friend but she had beyond perfect life, family, and boyfriend so it was hard sometimes to let her in on things. She knew of my past, being my bestie and all, but she didn't know everything. Sometimes I feel as though she thought I over exaggerated or looks down on me and my inability to fully recover. What she didn't understand was that everyone's mind was different, everyone has their own process.

     I'm not sure where to start this whole flashback. I was good at venting even if it didn't all make sense. 

      So here's my vent. Hopefully getting all this out will, as Mia says, "put things in perspective." Get ready, my vents/rants tend to be long.

     Well diary, I guess what it all came down to was me trying to recover/ get over my heart break. Ok no, that's a lie. I'm over the heartbreak. It was the whole shitty experience and betrayal that I wasn't over. I cou;d honestly say I was not in love with my ex anymore but the experience had destroyed my self esteem and my trust in others. Maybe getting this all out would help me build myself back up. I could only hope.

     Yours truly, Luna Jacobs.