Our world

Chapter 4

     "I'll meet you up there," I told Mia once we reached the dorms. "I'm going to get my personals I kept up front of my car."
     "Sure thing," she replied as she ran in.
     I might have been stalling. The only thing left in my car was my diary. I had been neglecting writing in it. It was therapeutic to write down my past but I hated bringing up those feelings. Sitting in my room bearing my soul to a piece of paper was not my idea of fun.
     Those feelings I kept pushed down for all that time still haunted me. Moving into a dorm room last school year was supposed to help me get a grib of life. It didn't. I spent most of the year held up in my room, when I wasn't in class or at work. I pushed everyone out.
     I needed my time alone. That however, is also in the past. I didn't want to dwell in it any longer. This shell of a life was starting to suffocate me and I needed a way out.
     Maybe I'll write in my diary today... Maybe.
     After I grabbed my diary I headed on up. Not in the mood to talk to anyone I put my headphones in and blasted some music. This was always useful to avoid any noises that may have came from Mia's room. I've mastered this trick after our first year living together. Mia and Brandon have been dating for over 5 years and they still couldnt get their hands off each other. They put rabbits to shame.
     Jogging into the elevator I pushed the number 2. Room 286 here I come.
     As the doors opened I ran straight out into a wall and fell on my butt just as fast.
     'Didn't I push for the second floor?' I thought, rubbing my head in confusion. 'How the heck did I run into a damn wall.'
     A strange gasp left my mouth when I looked up at this wall. It wasn't a wall at all. My heart started thumping loudly in my ears almost fogging my mind. There before me stood a perfect specimen of Adonis. This man stood towering over me had dark brown/black hair, tattooed muscular arms, and eyes that could hold you paralyzed.
     My eyes traveled down to his outstretched hand. Did he want me to touch him?
     I gulped nervously as he looked down at me with a confused look. Taking a deep breath I put my hand in his, not ignoring the sudden warmth that instantly spread through me. He pulled me up with such strength that I was practically thrown into him. Not that I complained by any means.
     I held onto his shoulders to steady myself. Up close and personal, I could observe his features better. This hunk of a man had the facial structure to put any male model to shame. I had to will myself not to just reach out and touch his face. I couldn't look away no matter how hard I tried.
     "Oh my," I whispered as I lost all sanity and gently stroked his face. "So beautiful."
     "Uhhhh, I'm going to put you down now. Did you bump your head by chance?" He replied awkwardly, trying to stifle a laugh while setting me down gently.
     'Umm what?!' I yelled in my head. This was real? Did I literally just drool over this stranger and stroke his face!? Please, just bury me alive right now.     
     Oh the embarrassment!
      "Uhh I must have," I respond with an embarrassed laugh, surprised to have spoken any words at all.
     "Hmm," he said while looking down at me with an intense gaze.
     I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away from those green soul suckers he called eyes. I can tell he was studying me. What he saw, I am sure, wasn't anything special. He practically threw me off of him and stormed off.
     'Figures.' I sighed.
     I was too stunned over what had just occurred to turn back around or even move until I heard the elevator doors close. Sighing in relief I slowly walked to room 286 with my mind still in a daze. What the heck happened to me? Who was that? And why am I in a shock?
      I slammed the door as I walked into my dorm room, startling Mia and Brandon in the process. I rested my back against the door in attempt to catch my breath. When I opened my eyes I saw the lovely couple staring at me with wide concerned eyes.
     "Sorry love birds, don't mind me, just over here going crazy," I told them with a weird giggle. They looked at each other as though saying 'tell us something we don't know.'
      "Goodnight!" I yelled as I slammed the door to my room. Silently thanking them for settling up my bed for me as I threw myself on it.
     I needed to think.
     The encounter with Adonis had my brain fried. My heart was still pounding hard in my chest.
     I guess it was time for a little 1 on 1.
    
Dear diary,
   Mia and I moved into our new dorm room today. We still hadnt fully unpacked but we still have a while to get adjusted. We moved in two weeks early for that reason.
  I had an awkward encounter today. I ran straight into this random guy. Literally bumped him and fell. What was troubling me wa not his gorgeous looks (believe me when I say he puts the word gorgeous to shame) but was the way I felt. I don't know who this man was, never ever seen him in my life. Our encounter only lasted a mere minute or so. Still, I can not seem to rid him of my mind.
  When he helped me up, I felt something. It's hard to explain. His ignited something within me. A warmth spread from his touch throughout my body. How can someone's touch feel like that? And what does this mean?
  Am I over thinking all of this?
  He made an attempt to look at me. Like, actually look at me... and he grunted and walked away. Yeah, that actually happened. I wasn't hurt by it. I am nothing special, i know that. Plain, average, boring. I guess it just hits differently when you get that type of reactiion. Even though I've been saying this year will be different, I am not so sure anymore. It is these types of incidents that make me want to cower back into my shell.
   Yes, I was able to get actual words out to talk to him. Yay for me but I don't plan on bumping into him again. Who knows what would happen at a second encounter. Or an encounter with anyone really.
   My mind was beginning to spiral again. So many questions ran around in cicles yelling at me.
   'What if I run into him again? What if I meet someone that is interested in me? Or me in him? Will I be able to talk or hold conversations? What if I end up having feelings for someone? What if I can't even make friends? What if?! What if?! What if?!'
  I wasn't sure if I was ready for all of this. I want, so desperately, to move on with my life. I need to make sure I can heal and find myself before I even attempt something with anyone.
  I need to take control of my mind and my life.
  Why am I so damn awkward.
Yours truly, Luna Jacobs