Saved

XXX

I could feel the puddle of blood I was laying in become stiff. I'd been laying in it for so long it had clotted, and it felt disgusting, but I didn't have the strength to lift my hands up out of it, instead it started to mold around them, and I knew if they were ever pulled away that they'd come up with a thick layer attached to it. 

I'd been laying here for a long time. Longer than I should be with how bad I think the wound on my head is. It has to be bad. I can hardly move anymore, and I didn't even have the strength to get up after Negan left to get the doctor. I think... I think I could be dying. I don't want to die, I can't die. Dale is still at the Sanctuary, alone. I need to get him, get him to Daryl. I can die if I get him to Daryl. 

God. I miss him. 

I wish I had stayed. Tried to work things out with him instead of just running... cutting off any and all possibilities of communication. I knew what I was doing when I left. I knew I was cutting him out of my life. But if I had known that was going to be the last time I saw him... I would have told him everything I've wanted to say since the moment our eyes met when he saved me that first time back at the Quarry. 

That I've never felt safer than I do when I'm with him. That I've never felt so loved, so cherished, so indestructible as I did when he loved me. And how it shattered my heart, and destroyed my soul when he cheated on me. I knew I'd never love again after him, but I would at least have wished for a life, and he ruined that chance for me when he took away everything that made me... me. With on simple act he destroyed me. 

I never wanted anyone to have control over me that way, but now, there are two people who can wreck me, and breathe life into my heart with a single glance. And I don't even know where one of them is, and who knows what will happen to the other if I die. 

I can't die...

I can't... I can't fall asleep. 

Don't fall asleep. 

"Is she okay?" Paula asked anxiously, glancing at the door I had been sitting outside of for two hours. I was punishing her. I'd go get the doctor when I was good and ready for him to save her life. She deserved this. Deserved the pain. 

She needed to know who was in charge here. I've been... soft with her. And she needs to remember who I am. 

"She will be. Go ahead and go get the doctor. I suppose it's been long enough." I grumbled, and watched her run off before I heaved myself up off the floor, and I stood for a moment, waiting to get the feeling back in my ass, and when I could feel every glorious inch of my body again, I opened the door and stepped in something sticky. I glanced down, and all I could see was red. She was about three feet away from the door, laying on her stomach, but the blood had made it all the way to the door, and it had solidified, creating a sticky, red paint for the floor that I'm sure would never wash out. But what freaked me out, was that she wasn't moving, didn't even look like she was breathing, and where I had hit her with the bat, on the side of her head, above her ear, it looked like her skull had caved in a little bit. 

I panicked, dropping the bat into the blood, I ran over to her body, kneeled down and rolled her over. As soon as she was on her back, I put my hands on her chest, and started compressions, counting to thirty before I tilted her head back to breath into her lungs twice, and then I started again. By the third round, the doctor strolled in. 

"Get your ass over here and save her!" I yelled, glancing behind me at the doctor who was staring at the river of blood in horror, with Paula behind him, glaring at me in disgust. 

"Did you hear me? Save her!" I roared, and it snapped him back into life, as he ran over to her other side, and ordered me to continue compressions, and for Paula to find the defibrillator, and he started to exam her head. 

I could only hope he'd fix her. I'd really hate to have to find a new right-hand. 

A/N: Sorry for those of you that love Negan, cuz I really do too, but we do kind of need a reason for her to want Daryl back, and to leave Negan so... here's where it starts, and just a warning, this shit is gonna keep on for a while so... get ready for some shitty experiences for our poor baby Riley.