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XVII

"We are still your family Riley!" 

"What? Auntie Ri? What does that mean?" 

"I'm so sorry."

"Who the fuck are these people!" 

All rang out at once, and I wanted to tell them all to shut up because we were gonna draw whatever walkers were left in this town here, and they were probably hurting Dale's ears. 

"Okay. One at a time. Morgan. Since you have the gun up I'll start with you. These people are Carl, my nephew, Merle my brother-in-law and best friend, and Daryl. My ex-husband." I paused, turning to look at Merle. 

"No. You're not. You're not my family anymore. You're still my best friend. But my ex-husband cheating on me for months while I was dying, effectively ended all family ties I have with you and yours." I glanced over Daryl, and deciding to deal with him last, I turned my head down to look at Carl who was desperately gripping onto my waist and staring up at me. But it was hard not to notice that he barely had to look up at me anymore. 

"Carl. You're always going to be my family. You, and your dad, and your little brother or sister whenever they get here. But Lori... Daryl, Merle and the others. They aren't my family. Not any more. Daryl cheated on me, and none of them did anything about it. They aren't at fault for Daryl's crimes. But they could have done something. Anything besides just standing there and watching it happen. Honestly, I'm pissed at Rick and you a little for not doing anything either. But you're my family. You're my blood. And try as I might, you'll never be rid of me." 

I took in a deep breath, and turned to look at Morgan. 

"While we have the extra hands we should use them. Let's go get the bags and y'all can come back. I'm tired and I think Daryl and I need to talk." I said softly, and I can't be sure on whether Daryl heard or not, but he looked scared. 

"Alright. You three, come on. We're going back to our place to get more bags. Let's go. It's not far." They all nodded, and once we were outside, Morgan moved to the front to lead them to the office building we had made into our home. Merle fell in behind him, and I instinctually grouped up with Carl, trying to avoid any awkward conversations with either Dixon man until absolutely necessary since Daryl fell in right behind me. 

"Are you gonna come home with us? Mom had the baby." Carl asked softly, wrapping his arm around my waist, forcing me to trow my arm over his shoulder, which was slightly uncomfortable since he's gotten taller, but it wasn't too bad. 

"Oh really? Boy or girl?" I asked, deftly avoiding the question about if I was coming home. 

"Girl. We named her Elizabeth. After you. We miss you Ri. Please come home." Carl whispered, staring up at my face, and I tried not to look down to meet his eyes, but as soon as I did, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. He looked so, so upset. 

"I can't Carl... there's just... too much there. My heart... ached when I was there. Those people... they weren't my family anymore. And I have missed you... so so much. But I can't go back there. It hurts too much." I whispered, knowing that Merle and Daryl could probably both hear me, but honestly I didn't care. Let them know how much pain I've felt. Let them feel the guilt. I'm tired of feeling everything on my own. 

"We kicked her out." Carl whispered, staring up at my face, a look of anger taking over his usually so peaceful face. But it wasn't directed at himself or me. 

"Why? Did she do something?" I asked, surprise lacing my tone and I knew when he looked confused that he probably thought it was a stupid question. 

"She tore the group apart. She wasn't doing anything to help us. And she was doing weird things to the animals Unc- uhm... Daryl brought back." Carl explained in a hushed whisper, and I understood. They were mad that I had left so they kicked her out. It's a wonder Daryl didn't go with her. But they shouldn't have done that. 

She was going to die now simply because I couldn't control my urge to flee when things get hard. That's not her fault. And it wasn't her fault my hus-... ex-husband cheated on me with her. But honestly, it did make going back not seem so horrible. 

"Oh." Was all I said, and Carl nodded, looking forward to Merle who I could tell was listening, though he'd been gracious enough not to say anything so far. 

"Yeah. Merle suggested it. And we took a vote. It was unanimous." Relief flooded my entire being. I don't know why honestly. He still cheated on me with her and voting for her to leave doesn't make up for that, but still... it's better than voting for her to stay. Voting to keep his sidepiece with him. 

"And Merle and Daryl have been looking for you every day since you left. I wanted to help, but Dad said I had to stay at the hospital to get it cleaned up. Said it was a hazard for Dale and the baby. Didn't want you to be afraid to come back because something could hurt Dale. Nothing could hurt him there now though! We cleaned up everything. There's nothing on the floors or anything! And we got you a room. We think it was one of the fancy rooms they used for important people because it's really big. We even got Dale a crib, we set it up in there for you so you don't have to worry about that. We were actually supposed to be getting more baby stuff today. Mostly for Eliza but I was gonna grab some toys for Dale too." I could feel the tears building, and I didn't want to let them fall, not yet. Not when I still had to talk to Daryl. And I couldn't cry when I talked to Daryl. He needed to see how angry I was, no am. He's needs to see how angry I am. How voting for his whore to leave is not enough reason for me to forgive him. How cheating on me is not okay. Not ever. 

I can't cry. Not yet. 

Not until they're gone.

"We're here."

Shit. I'm not ready.  

A/N: Honestly, who could say no to that face? ^^^