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VII

It had been two weeks. It took two weeks for us to reach King's County, and each moment was more unbearable than the last. In the beginning, Daryl at least did me the decency of silently riding in the same car as me. Sitting near me in meals, even if he wasn't right by me, sleeping next to me, even though he refused to sleep with me as he used to. But by the third day, he was sitting with Carol during meals. And on day four, he informed me that I would be riding with Rick, Lori, and Carl, and that Carol would be riding with him. 

They shared the same sleeping area that night. I was forced to cuddle up with Carl to stay warm, and Dale would not stop screaming, desperately wanting his father, and being forced away from the woman who had been feeding him, cleaning him, sleeping with him since I couldn't when I was unconscious. 

He, at least, realized who I was and stopped crying out for Carol by the end of the first week, but my husband had replaced me. For a woman who... honestly I couldn't see the appeal in. She was older, so age couldn't be a factor. Honestly, I think I'm prettier than her, and I am a nice person. But... for some reason, he had decided, during the two months where I was fighting desperately to stay alive and open my eyes so I could see him, that I wasn't what he wanted. He wanted her now. 

Merle, thankfully, seemed just as pissed at Daryl as Rick was for the sudden and forced distance between us. Often, every day, if not several times a day, I would catch one of them cornering him, threatening him, asking what had happened, and on one occasion, Rick actually did break his nose. 

But thankfully, today we arrived in King's County. Home. I had hardly spoken since we left the prison, so when I spoke up on the drive into the town, it made Rick and Lori jump in the front seat. 

"Where are we going first?" I asked, my voice cracking from the disuse, but I tried to ignore it, and they did me the decency of pretending it hadn't happened.

"The hospital. I want to see if there's anything salvageable. If not, we'll try the house, and if that doesn't work we'll go to the station." Rick explained, glancing in the rearview mirror at me, his face drawn, tired, and I could see the anger hiding beneath the surface. 

"Okay." I whispered, leaning back in my seat and adjusting Dale on my chest. He hadn't been outside the Moby wrap much since I found it. It just made me feel more comfortable, since we didn't have a car seat for him, or a crib, or any of the other things that babies need to be safe, it made me feel like he was somewhat protected. And, at least he couldn't be bitten by a walker without me seeing and reacting first. 

After about fifteen minutes we pulled up to the hospital. It looked deserted, there were bodies laid out in the parking lot, covered in white sheets, and I knew these bodies had to be from before the Guard deserted this place. But besides that, I could see no evidence of any form of human body. Everyone scrambled out of the cars as we came to a stop, and I watched in horror as Daryl held the door open for Carol, and I tried to avert my eyes away from them, but I couldn't until his eyes found mine. His eyes were empty. He doesn't feel anything for me anymore. What the hell happened to us? 

"Alright. Lori, Riley, Merle and Oscar, you stay with the cars. The rest of you, we're going in. Be quiet, be smart, check everything. Go in pairs of two or three, and do not split up. We meet back here in thirty minutes. Even if you haven't finished sweeping your area, you come. Everyone understand?" I watched as everyone nodded, and split into groups, and, no surprise, but Daryl and Carol grouped together. Thankfully, with a sly wink in my direction, Hershel joined them. I watched them leave, Carol pouting, Daryl scowling, and Hershel with a grin, as they walked up to the doors, the others following, and a moment later they all disappeared through the doors. 

"What happened to us Merle?" I whispered, turning to stare up at my brother-in-law, and he frowned down at me. 

I wanted to tell her. I did. But it would just hurt her right?

No. It wouldn't hurt her more than he was already hurting her now. 

"Take a walk with me." I offered, holding my arm out for her to take, and I glanced at Lori and Oscar to make sure they'd be okay, and when they nodded, Riley took my arm and I led her away from them. Once we were far away enough that I thought they wouldn't hear, I started talking. 

"About... a week... I guess, after you had gone into your coma, Daryl had a panic attack. He was afraid you weren't going to wake up, and that he'd have to be a single father. Raise his son on his own, and he didn't think he could, 'cause of our pops. Well, Carol calmed him down, we all watched her do it, talked him down in the middle of the block. And she took Dale from him, told him to go hunt. When he got back he seemed better. Happy almost I guess. A few days later, I caught them. Carol had asked me to watch Dale that night. Figured she just needed a break. Daryl was supposed to be on watch. I went up at shift change, and they were... well... he was cheating on you. I had Dale with me, so I couldn't yell as much as I wanted to, but I did the next day. The others heard me I guess. Told me not to tell you. Thought they would stop. But they didn't. It just kept happening. People kept walking in on them. It was like they weren't even trying to hide it. Rick punched him out a few times, but nothing was working. Then you woke up, and we thought it would be okay. But... it wasn't. And I can't tell you why. The only time he didn't seem like she had completely taken over his head was when he was sitting with you. We thought it would snap him out of it, you waking up. Thought we wouldn't have to tell you. But... he's being a fucking asshole Riley. I'm so sorry he's doing this to you, you don't deserve it." I finished, and when I finally looked down at her face, tears were streaming down her cheeks. 

"No. No I don't. Can you... can you go back to Lori and Oscar? I need some time on my own." Riley whispered, and I nodded without thinking. I should've thought. I should've turned around when I walked away. Should've looked to where her footsteps were heading. Because I could tell they were heading away from us. But I figured she would come back. I thought she'd be back. She wouldn't just leave her family because of my stupid asshole of a brother. 

And yet, she did.